What is benevolent sexism and how it can harm women

How benevolent sexism manifests itself

Traditional sexism - gender discrimination - is easy to spot. These are hostile comments about women like "your place is in the kitchen" or prejudice, for example, when a less able man is hired as a manager because "women are too emotional." Benevolent sexism is not so simple as it masquerades as caring. He expressed in the belief that women are fragile, delicate and weak, and therefore need the protection of men. And also supports the belief that the traditional gender roles of “provider” and “keeper of the hearth” are necessary for the development of a couple.

Benevolent sexism can take the form of praise or compliment, but will emphasize the secondary role of women in society. Examples are statements like “You have a man’s mind”, “Such a girl is not married!”, “Don’t strain your pretty brains”, “Why should such a beauty work - let her husband provide”.

Men they also sometimes hear depreciating statements: “Wow, you yourself baked the cake, and your wife did not help!” But still, they are much less likely than women to experience manifestations of sexism. For example, according to the Pew Research Center, 22% of men and 42% of women declaredthat they were discriminated against at work on the basis of gender. Women were more likely to receive lower wages for the same work, face neglect and doubts about their professional competence.

Benevolent sexism seems to be more socially acceptable than hostile sexism, and therefore often supported representatives of both sexes. But it has serious negative consequences.

How a mild form of sexism affects women

1. Undermines career ambitions

Researchers figured outthat female students who support benevolent sexism have lower career expectations and are less likely to financial independence. Some women believethat professional success will interfere with their attractiveness to men. Because of this, they lose the incentive to invest in a career, even if they wanted to build it.

In addition, gender stereotypes affect how an employee is perceived at work. Polls show that when a woman accepts an offer of help from a male colleague, she is considered incompetent. And when she rejects - unfriendly. Men do not face such a dilemma: refusing help does not affect the assessment of their personal qualities. Such manifestations of sexism push women into the traditional gender role: why resist hostility because you do not fit expectationsif you can follow them and find a man who will provide for you.

2. Negatively affects cognitive abilities

Sexist comments make women to doubt their abilities and, as a result, perform worse on tasks. To test this, the researchers simulated a job search situation.

A man described as a recruiter for an industrial company was asking job seekers to solve a puzzle. Before that, he commented. For example, he aggressively said that women get upset over any trifle. Or “caringly” explained that the industry is dominated by male specialists. But the company knows that a woman will come to a new position, and male colleagues are ready to help her get comfortable.

Members who experienced benevolent sexism handled with the task even worse than those who heard overtly aggressive comments. Hostile sexism called desire to resist and prove themselves. A discrimination, which masqueraded as care and praise, simply deprived of enthusiasm.

3. Makes you justify violence

Benevolent and hostile sexism complement each other. Women who support traditional gender roles are more likely to justify manifestations of aggression on the part of husbands. For example, they are ready to mistake hostility for passionate affection.

In addition, people who see nothing wrong with benevolent sexism often considerthat rapes exposed only those who "wrongly" behave. Women are expected to prevent and resist violence if it occurs. Women more often accuse in lying about harassment than about other crimes.

4. Affects the wage gap

In Russia, women pay on average 37.3% less than men, but in some cases the difference reaches almost 70%. The reasons for choosing low-paid professions are both direct discrimination and the peculiarities of the social role of women. They can look for jobs with flexible hours that allow them to take time for family responsibilities and not overwork in the evenings and weekends. And no wonder: women in the world perform at least 2.5 times more unpaid housework and childcare than men.

Writer and Forbes columnist Kim Elsesser believes that the wage gap affects benevolent sexism. For example, the Money Survey found that 78% of respondents considerthat a man should pay on the first date. Moreover, men themselves supported this attitude even more often than women - 85% versus 72%. Such chivalrous behavior seems pleasant, but it can have negative consequences. After all, if a man is expected to pay for two, it seems logical that he should earn more.

5. Prevents the fight for equality

Women who support benevolent sexism negatively relate to "violators" who do not want to follow traditional roles. As a rule, they believethat gender inequality is just - supposedly it is the choice of women themselves, and not discrimination.

For acceptance stereotypes affects the effect of familiarity with the object. This phenomenon expressed in that people show sympathy for something they have experienced before. Women just get used to benevolent sexism, so they consider it normal and see no point in fighting for their rights.

How to respond to sexist remarks

Here is what cognitive scientist Shang Beilock advises to do if you encounter benevolent sexism:

• Don't dismiss your feelings. It's normal to feel angry, hurt, or disappointed at questionable "compliments."
• Explain why the comment disturbed you. Maintain a calm, collected, and professional tone. Make it clear that such statements are inappropriate. You don't have to react to benevolent sexism right away. Take time to put your thoughts in order.
• Don't ignore sexist remarks about others. So, if at work someone says about a woman: “We are so lucky to have her on our team - we just needed a mom,” you can object by emphasizing her achievements and skills. For example, recall that last year she optimized the sales department and dramatically increased profits. Public exposure of peers' accomplishments can thwart attempts to discreetly undermine their status.