6 rules that will help you not to give up on the way to the goal

Book Start Finishing! Go to the end, act and win!” written by Master of Psychology Peter Hollins. This guide is for those who get distracted a lot and often don't get things done. With the permission of AST, we publish an excerpt from the third chapter on how to keep yourself in line and achieve results.

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On the way to the goal, you will inevitably come across a fork in the road, where you will have to choose: go to the end or give up. Instead of having to make a difficult decision every time and resort to willpower, set up rules in advance to help you decide in which direction to move.

Ever since childhood, we have been told over and over again that we must follow the rules. Well, this time we can choose the course of action necessary to achieve our goals.

Rules are called mental models. They are extremely important for the ability to complete the work started, because they create a certain order. When decisions are already made for you by the rules, the chance for error is minimal. In this case, you will not rely on weakened willpower or the same weak self-discipline.

The rules keep in good shape, help to be guided by clear instructions, and not act at random.

Apply the rules to follow your worldview and take the actions necessary to realize your potential. Let them make all the decisions for you.

A great example of such a rule is the daily, mandatory completion of two tasks from the to-do list. As a result, you will find that you are moving towards the desired result even when you do not feel like doing anything. This is because the choice is no longer in your hands. It is no longer your decision; this decision has already been made for you by the rule and therefore you have no choice but to do so.

Consider an example where John, the writer, does not use the "two must-do" rule. In the morning he is excited and thinks: “After work, I will come home and start writing a novel! Today I will finish two chapters." Then he goes to work, gets tired and during the day slowly but surely loses inspiration. When he gets home, all he wants to do is watch Gossip Girl. Given that John doesn't stick to the rule, he decides to watch seriesrather than working on a book. He has not achieved results and is far from his goal. He is tormented by a terrible sense of guilt. As he goes to bed, he vows to himself that he will make up for lost progress tomorrow by writing four chapters.

What do you think will happen? Yes, he will come home tired again. His work becomes an excuse not to write planned chapters. Moreover, since he now has a daunting task ahead of him, the accomplishment of this work seems to him more and more impossible. Since the night before he did not have the strength for two chapters, then today he will definitely not have the strength for four. He is depressed and does not want to write. It seems that he will never finish the novel, because he always finds an excuse to free himself from this work. He gave himself too much freedom of action and therefore could not concentrate on the main thing.

Now let's look at another example. John applies the rule every day, regardless of fatigue. It doesn't matter how exhausted he feels. He knows he has to write two chapters after work, with no exceptions or excuses. Therefore, when he comes home, at one glance at the computer, he feels the temptation to go watch TV and save energy. But since he adheres to a certain rule, he cannot break it, and therefore he has to write. John sits down at his desk, writes two chapters, and goes to bed tired, but satisfied and proud of himself. He has made significant progress. Very soon he finishes the novel. Hence the conclusion follows: a sense of accomplishment is worth the effort that you have to spend.

Rules limit your field of vision. When you are deprived of the right to make decisions - the very right that forces you to sit on social networks instead of performing important tasks - your hands are tied. Following to the end is the only possible choice.

This chapter is about creating a set of rules, a kind of manifesto that you will follow whenever you find yourself at a crossroads. They will push you, point you in the right direction, and keep you from depleting your willpower. Below are a few ideas.

Rule #1: Do some introspection

Ask yourself: “If it wasn’t for laziness or fear, would I give up?” This question helps you understand that you are not acting out of lack of ability or talent, but simply taking the easy way out. Is this what you want to admit? Facing your own laziness or fear, you feel like you don't like being lazy or afraid.

This is a kind of kick that encourages you to take action. Realizing that only fear or laziness is blocking your path to success, you will understand how stupid it is and try to overcome the obstacle.

So before you give up, make it a habit to ask yourself what is holding you back from certain actions.

Let's say you have a goal to earn a certain amount of money by completing a certain number of projects for your clients in one month.

However, the work is hard, and you quickly lose motivation. You want to stop and take a few days off. Ask yourself, "Am I just being lazy?" This question will spur you on and you will get back to work. Perseverance will give you a sense of satisfaction because you will know that you have not given up despite the difficulties.

Rule #2: Three tasks is my maximum

Focus on a maximum of three tasks a day. Congestion or disorganization can undermine your ability to get things done. Sometimes we can’t carry out our plans because we don’t know how to plan correctly. We plan too many things and do not know what to take in the end. This rule allows you to deal with this problem and helps you focus on only three things. In advance, for example the night before, choose three things and think about how you can focus only on them. Focus and use logic, not emotion.

One of the failures you will encounter when you try to limit yourself to the three main tasks is differentiation. In particular, you will need to learn to distinguish between important and urgent matters. Important things should get into your top three, while urgent things are not necessary.

Urgent tasks may seem important, cause stress, but in fact they are not a priority. Urgent business may be a client who rushes you. But the delivery of the project before the deadline is an example of an important task.

Everything looks important and urgent, so you need to learn how to prioritize tasks and plan them accordingly.

In the same way, you must distinguish between useless actions that seem important and real actions that lead to a goal. Useless action includes, for example, shifting papers from place to place, while the real action is the use of these same papers to get the job done and move the project forward. Put in a priority what really matters.

How to plan a day using this rule? Let's say you need to complete five tasks for your business. Two of them are not important, but only seem so because they are urgent. Bottom line: you decide to focus on them later.

You choose three tasks and then evaluate which one is the most important. The night before, look at these three points and determine what steps you will take, starting with the most important. The next day, complete the first task, then the second, and then the third. Do only one thing at a time. As a result, by the end of the working day, you will complete three main tasks!

Rule #3: Create Limits and Requirements

Set real rules. Create a code of conduct to be more disciplined and bring the work started to the end. Write down your code in detail, and then hang it in a conspicuous place. While you may not follow all the rules, you will at least be more likely to follow them.

Rules should be aimed at creating restrictions or requirements that contribute to the achievement of goals. They help determine what you really need and want, analyze what you hope to achieve. In essence, you stop to check yourself and evaluate how well you are progressing according to your plan. You focus on your intentions and clarify them, making them an integral part of your work ethic. Therefore, when you want to achieve something, you will have a rule for this case, which will help to bring the project to the end.

Set five daily limits and five daily requirements. Be clear about what you cannot do and what you must do.

Limitations are relatively easy to understand: they keep distractions and temptations in check. As for the requirements, here you have to understand the following: you are not a superman and not a superwoman - you cannot overload yourself. Work smart and create five requirements that you can rationally follow. You may not always stick to them, but at least you will have a guideline. In addition, you will gain some clarity regarding daily tasks.

An example would be the restriction that you won't watch TV more than an hour a day, you will not spend more than an hour on Facebook* and you will not take a break for lunch for more than an hour. And the requirements will be: you must read at least 30 pages a day, you must work at least 4 hours before lunch and 8 hours in general.

Rule #4: Confirm Your Intentions

The fourth rule is very similar to the first. It comes into force when you find yourself at a crossroads and decide whether to go to the end or not. The rule is meant to remind you of what you are striving for and why you want to achieve it.

As you consider what to do, ask yourself three questions. Even better, write down the answers so you can refer back to them.

"I want…" Here you specify the final target and the benefits you will get from achieving it. Why do you want it? What motivates you? Constantly remind yourself of external or internal motivators. For example: "I want to get rich."

"I will…" In this case, you specify how you will achieve the final goal. This statement brings you back to the need to complete what you are currently doing and how those tasks are related to the end goal. This route is a necessary part of the journey. It will help you be specific and see what action needs to be taken. For example, tell yourself, "If I want to get rich, I need to finish a project and work hard on other tasks."

"I won't..." In this case, you indicate what you should not do. What will hinder progress towards the goal. There are many things that hinder progress, including distractions, temptations, lack of discipline, procrastination, and other destructive or useless activities. Tell yourself: "If I want grow richI won't be distracted by social media."

Let's apply this concept to a potential life situation. When you are working towards completing the certification program required for a pay rise, the amount of work seems overwhelming, and you become frustrated that you have so little free time. time. You are thinking of giving up. After all, you have a job. Is this upgrade really necessary?

On the way to your goal, you have reached a fork in the road and decided to apply the rule of three questions. And this is what came out of it:

• "I want earn more money to buy a nice house for yourself and your future family.”
• “If I want to make more money and afford a house, then I will complete the program and get a promotion.”
• “Since I want to earn more and afford a house, I will not allow myself to become discouraged. I will not deviate from the intended course and will not become lazy or distracted by temptations.

You have just laid out your intentions from start to finish. As you may have noticed, one of the main ideas of this book is the importance of repetition. It is repetition that helps you achieve what you want. Yes, we may have the best intentions, but if we just forget about them, what's the point? If you continually ask yourself these questions—about the ultimate goal and the steps you should and shouldn't take to achieve it—everything becomes crystal clear.

Rule #5: Think in terms of 10-10-10

The next time you feel like you're about to give in to a desire or temptation, stop and ask yourself how you'll feel in 10 minutes, 10 hours, and 10 days. This rule may not seem very effective, but it is effective because it forces think about the future and understand how your actions will affect you - for better or worse. Often we know that we are losing willpower or doing something wrong at the moment. However, this is not enough to stop us, because we do not have enough connection with our future self, which, in fact, will have to deal with the consequences. The fifth rule quickly creates this connection and helps to understand the difference between failure and lack of discipline.

Why exactly 10 minutes, hours and days? Because such time frames best demonstrate how short-term a pleasure or comfort is compared to its long-term consequences. Within 10 minutes you will probably feel good. You may feel a little embarrassed at first. After 10 hours you will feel a strong shame, regret. Ten days later, you may be consumed by guilt. You will see first hand the negative consequences caused by your decision.

On the other hand, you can apply this rule and understand that a mistake made now will not change anything in 10 days. If so, then you can indulge a little without feeling guilty or ashamed.

For example, imagine applying this rule when deciding whether to skip a workout and go out to dinner with co-workers. If you have just started playing sports and have not yet developed a stable habitBy canceling one workout, you run the risk of missing the next, or even stopping classes altogether.

How will you feel in 10 minutes, hours and days? In 10 minutes, everything will be fine - a subtle hint of regret - because the taste of lasagna or ice cream is still felt on the tongue. Ten hours later, regret will overwhelm you, for fleeting pleasure has passed, and the diet has been thoroughly violated. In 10 days, absolute regret will come, because everything you did before has lost all meaning, and only a dim memory of self-discipline remains. Lasagna does not provide long-term benefits, but it does have long-term effects.

On the other hand, if sports already established a permanent and enjoyable habit, then imagining how you will feel in 10 days, you will quickly realize that one missed workout will not hurt discipline or goals.

In the event that you lack willpower, you can add a final question: what will happen in 10 weeks or even in the longer term? You might want to look 10 weeks ahead if you're dealing with long-term decisions and tasks.

In this process, it is very important to be honest with yourself and be wary of your own ability to rationalize and justify. You may have tried many times in the past to quit a bad habit, but failed and ended up returning to it again.

An honest evaluation of the consequences after 10 days or 10 weeks will show you that you cannot relax if you want to achieve long-term goals.

Stricter measures are needed here, because this is no longer an exception to the rule, but a feature character.

If you can't track down your own rationalizations and justifications, applying this rule can be a futile exercise.

Rule #6: The 10 Minute Rule

The last rule is simple, easy and effective.

If you want to do something that is negative, harmful, or detrimental to your business, wait 10 minutes. It's simple and leaves no room for controversy or excuses. When you feel an overwhelming urge to do something, force yourself to slow down. If after 10 minutes you still want it - go for it. Better yet, wait another 10 minutes, because you have already suffered and, as you can see, did a great job. The decision to wait precludes immediate gratification, strengthens self-discipline and improves the decision-making process.

The same applies to beneficial actions. If you want to drop something useful, wait 10 minutes. It's the same thought process, just in a different way. Ten minutes is nothing, so you can easily handle it. And if you do it once, then you can easily repeat it again, right? In other words, every time you come to a fork, tell yourself: I need 10 more minutes.

The next benefit of this rule is the targeted reinforcement of good habits. If you force yourself to do something productive for 10 minutes, you will eventually be able to do it for 15 or even 20 minutes. Next time, your perseverance will increase so much that you will be more resistant to temptations and distractions and will be able to last 6 or 7 minutes longer.

Any time you feel like you're getting distracted, just show your willpower and hold on for a few more minutes. Each time you will steadily improve the result. At some rep you will reach a point of momentum, and that is often enough to keep you hooked for hours.

Book Start Finishing! Go to the end, act and win!” will help to systematize your affairs, develop motivation and stop wasting time, imitating violent activity.

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