6 steps to help you process and let go of any feelings

To "live" feelings is considered by many to be a weakness, although in reality it is an extremely difficult and serious work. That is why we often do our best to avoid it. For example, we begin to overeat, abuse alcohol, immerse ourselves in the world of gambling, or spend all our time at work. However, learning to feel, and not just think about or bury your feelings, is incredibly important for personal development and achieving goals.

Psychologists considerthat it is difficult for us to adequately experience feelings, because their main function from the point of view of evolution — push us to take quick action. In our ancestors, emotions were supposed to cause a behavioral response that would help to adapt to the environment: "I feel threatened - it's time to run!" They weren't made for us to pause and really feel their.

At the same time, any avoidance of emotions or an attempt to control them leaves unresolved problems that underlie our experiences. Feelings signal what is important to us. We may be sad because we lack fellowship, or angry because of injustice. And only after we are left alone with “uncomfortable” emotions can we learn something new about their abilities, avoid wrong reactions and begin to act in accordance with their values.

If you have done even a little self-development, then you have probably heard about how important it is to “spend time” with your feelings. But what exactly does this mean? Not only to feel what is happening inside you, but also to let go of these experiences, six steps will help. Repeat them over and over until they become a habit.

1. Define a feeling

Ask yourself: “What emotion is taking over me?” For example, if you spend time with a person whom you just started dating, and suddenly you feel anxiety, say to yourself: “I feel fear and anxiety."

2. Don't analyze the feeling

You don't need to use your brain to explore your experiences and understand why they have gripped you. On the contrary, it is necessary to resist the impulse of everything analyze, otherwise the brain will come up with a lot of wrong scenarios related to the emotion that has gripped you, for example, “I don’t deserve this love” or “I’ll probably ruin everything again.” The more you think about your feelings, the stronger they become.

3. Find the source of the feeling in the body

Close your eyes and take a deep breath. "Scan" your body and find the place where the emotion you feel is located: in the chest, stomach, throat?

Immerse yourself in this feeling. You don't need to analyze anything. If your brain needs a task, start describing how the emotion manifests in the body. For example: “I have chest tightness. I feel tingling in my toes. I breathe slowly."

4. accept the feeling

Give back emotions your energy, which can be positive or healing. Focus on physical sensations. For example, alternate deep breaths and exhales and repeat: “I accept this fear” or “I notice my anger.” Do whatever your body needs, even if it means yelling or hitting a pillow.

5. Let the feeling move through the body

Focus on the emotion and see if it moves through the body. Perhaps she moved from the chest to the jaw? At the same time, the feeling weakened or, on the contrary, became stronger?

Instead of going back into scripting mode, shift your attention to the body. Follow the "journey" of the feeling you are experiencing. The more you watch him, the more you feel, and not analyze, the easier it will be for him to gradually dissolve.

6. Believe that the feeling will pass and return to the present

If you are still doing breathing exercises at the end of the journey, continue to breathe slowly and deeply. Allow the emotion to be and trust that its existence is not eternal. As soon as you feel that it has weakened, return to the present moment. Focus on what you were doing before the feeling occurred, and notice what you were able to experience.