"Can I sit at home?" Why the child does not want to study and how to fix it

1. Classes seem meaningless

If a child has convinced himself that he will not need the periodic table or ancient Greek myths in adulthood, he may will startRebecca Branstetter. Here's what to do when your children say school is boring / The Washington Post skip unnecessary, in his opinion, classes and forget about homework. And sometimes children are justified by the title of "techie" or "humanities" - they say, why learn the grammar of the Russian language, if you decided to act as an engineer.

The labor market says otherwise. A developer who does not speak English is unlikely to be in demand in an international company, and a journalist will not write a quality article about the stock markets if he does not understand economics. But there is good news: research showKelly Macdonald, Laura Germine, Alida Anderson, Joanna Christodoulou, Lauren M. McGrath. Dispelling the Myth: Training in Education or Neuroscience Decreases but Does Not Eliminate Beliefs in Neuromyths / Educational Psychology

that people are not divided into physicists and lyricists. Any subject can be learned, you just need to make enough effort.

Motivate the student to do something new. Try listening to lectures with charismatic speakers or go with the whole family to an intellectual quiz that has no age limits - many children attractRodrigo Smiderle, Sandro José Rigo, Leonardo B. Marques, Jorge Arthur Peçanha de Miranda Coelho, Patricia A. Jaques. The impact of gamification on students’ learning, engagement and behavior based on their personality traits / Smart Learning Environments competitions and awards. You can also invite your teenager to spend a couple of hours at work with you or family friends. Choose a day on which you will definitely not be loaded with urgent tasks, and show the student what IT people, designers, engineers or entrepreneurs really do.

2. The child cannot understand the subject

It also happens that the student was sick, and during this time the class managed to make out important material. Or inattention failed: while peers studied the discriminant and tenses of English verbs, the student was immersed in his thoughts. Difficult topics piled on one another, and as a result, after some time, the child generally ceased to understand what was being discussed in the lessons.

Poor grades can also reduce interest in learning. After a couple of failures, there is a feeling that the next test will again be a fiasco. Find out from the child what topic the blockage began with. Discuss the problem with the teacher and try to negotiate extra classes or extracurriculars. If you feel that you are well versed in the subject yourself, help with homework. The main thing is not to be nervous and do not scold the student if something does not work out for him the first time - try to explain the material in simple words as much as necessary.

3. Lack of trust with the teacher

interest in learning dependsKelly Allen, Margaret L. Kern, Dianne Vella‑Brodrick, John Hattie, Lea Waters. What Schools Need to Know About Fostering School Belonging: a Meta‑analysis / Educational Psychology Review and on the relationship between the teacher and the class. If a student generally does well in the program and falls short only in a particular subject, they may not get along well with the teacher.

The reasons for the conflict may be different, and it is important for parents to understand why the child and the teacher do not find a common language. To get started, talk to each one individually. Find out how comfortable they are with each other. Maybe it turns out that the student is distracted in the classroom or does not recognize the authority of the teacher. In this case, talk with your child about the rules of business communication - they, by the way, will come in handy in adulthood. Explain that the class teacher is a kind of team leader: you may not like him, but you can not help but listen to him.

If necessary get together with the child and the teacher. It will be great if a mediator participates in your conversation - for example, a class teacher or head teacher. He will impartially assess the situation and help find a solution.

4. The child feels lonely

Children, especially in elementary school, It is important to knowValerie J. Caledron. How to Keep Kids Excited About School / Gallupthat in addition to lessons, there will be fun breaks in their schedule. Sometimes students look forward to Monday so they can play with friends and share what they did over the weekend. If the child does not have friends in the class, the desire to study may noticeably decrease.

Sometimes this problem arises because children lacksArthur C. Brooks. The Real Reason Kids Don't Like School / The Atlantic communication skills. If a student is in elementary school and is embarrassed to talk to others, use the “ladder technique”. She suggestsAnxiety: the stepladder approachthat the child will step by step establish contact with the interlocutors: at first he will simply begin to say hello, then he will discuss the lessons, then he will find extracurricular interests.

Sometimes it also happens that a student is open and wants to communicate, but classmates still remain indifferent. In this case, invite him to enroll in circles where other children are engaged. And also remind that nothing prevents the child from being friends with the guys from the parallels.

Be your children's buddies to whom you can turn for support. The child will feel more confident knowing that his parents love him, respect him and are ready to help at any time.

5. Bullying thrives in the classroom

Worse than the situation when a student has no friends, there can only be bullying. bullying reduceRaúl Navarro, Roberto Ruiz‑Oliva, Elisa Larrañaga, Santiago Yubero. The Impact of Cyberbullying and Social Bullying on Optimism, Global and School‑Related Happiness and Life Satisfaction Among 10‑12‑year‑old Schoolchildren / Applied Research in Quality of Life interest in learning from all participants in the conflict: from the tormentor, and from his victim, and from observers. Even if the rest of the children do not help the bully, they are still under the pressure of an unhealthy atmosphere.

Usually about bullying a child They sayBullying: how to spot the signs / Raising Children Network changes in his mood, appetite problems and insomnia. It is important not to let the situation take its course and not to substitute concepts. “Children are just playing”, “These are such jokes”, “You need to be able to stand up for yourself” - such phrases justify violence. Let the child know that he can ask for help at any time. Here's what parents should do:

• Tell your teacher about bullying. Show him evidence: screenshots from correspondence, eyewitness accounts, photographs of broken things. Ask the teacher to work on the climate in the classroom and make sure that bullies stay away from other children. If the teacher did not listen to your words, you need to move on.
• Connect school leadership. Tell the director about the situation and write a complaint. Perhaps the parents of other students will support you. If the problem persists, you have the right to resolve it outside of school.
• Get an opinion from a psychologist. He will find out how badly the child has suffered due to bullying, and will provide data on his mental state. The conclusion can be used in further proceedings. It is important that the psychologist has a license.
• Contact law enforcement. You you canLetter to the Department of Education: how to write a complaint / European Legal Service send complaints about teachers and the management of the educational institution to the district and city departments of education, as well as to Rosobrnadzorif other measures fail. It is also worth filing an application with the commission on minors in your city. When the situation threatens the health of the child, do not hesitate to involve the prosecutor's office and the police.
• Change school. Sometimes nothing helps in the fight against bullying. In this case, it is worth finding an educational institution in which the child will be comfortable.

6. The schoolboy got in touch with a bad company

"Cool kids" often seem more mature to children than quiet "nerds". They are fun to skip classes with, they are not afraid of anything. And in such companies, you can try adult entertainment, such as cigarettes or alcohol. Classes are perceived as a boring waste of time and gradually fade into the background. Grades deteriorate, and the desire to learn remains less and less.

It is important to gently discourage the child from bad company. If you sharply prohibit communication with new friends, then quarrels cannot be avoided. And bad company will become even more attractive in children's eyes. Better explain that you understand the motives for this behavior. Then tell them that a truly mature person is someone who takes responsibility for their actions, and does not splurge on others. Give the student the opportunity to feel their importance. For example, ask for help with household chores that he can handle. Offer to get a part-time job to save money for a big purchase, like a new phone or laptop. Try to occupy the student's free time with something interesting and useful - sports, hobbies, training camps will come to your aid.

7. The child has a hard time due to high loads

All children are different. Someone grabs the material on the fly, and for some it is not given even after a long cramming. In addition, it is physically difficult for students to give all their best in all subjects, especially during preparation for exams. And if electives are added to them, you get a schedule from which even the most hardy person will burn out.

Tired children nervousJulia Moeller, Marc A. Brackett, Zorana Ivcevic, Arielle E. whitea. High school students’ feelings: Discoveries from a large national survey and an experience sampling study / Learning and Instruction and frankly bored in class. It is important for a child to rest. If you understand that the same physics or biology is not needed for admission to a university and the student is not at all interested, do not demand an impeccable knowledge of these subjects. Help to establish a sleep schedule and remind you in time to eat. If the child does not have enough time for a normal rest, free him from part of the household chores. At the same time, do not forget about circles and other extracurricular activities. They provide an opportunity to unwind after difficult lessons, chat with friends and do what you really like.