“Batteries run out three times faster”: how not to burn out in conditions of uncertainty
Miscellaneous / / April 02, 2023
Tips and exercises from a psychologist will teach you not to bend under a changing world and take care of yourself.
The book "Life without burnout" was written by psychologist and candidate of medical sciences Leonid Krol. In it, he proposed his own method of getting out of the state of burnout at work and in life. With the permission of Alpina Publisher, we are publishing an excerpt from the sixth chapter - it is about how not to lose yourself when everything around you is changing rapidly.
The time of turbulence, "black swans", strong uncertainty causes fear. The apparent disorder of the world changes the focus of attention, reduces concentration, makes you “stick” to the news and incoming data that have a potentially destructive effect. External uncertainty resonates with uncertainty within us, which in times of peace can sometimes be overlooked or lulled in other ways.
How to live and not burn out in turbulence without becoming its slave, how to maintain feelings, attention and the ability to quickly accept the right
solutions? In this chapter, I will share with you techniques for managing burnout in a situation of constant overstrain and disorder. Our task is to wake up from the hustle and bustle into peace and composure. This is necessary both for one's own effectiveness and for helping others.Why do we burn out more in high uncertainty?
When events change rapidly, it seems that they control you, throw you back and forth. You will only adapt, it will only seem that you have found a pattern and adapted, as the situation changes dramatically again. Adaptation in uncertainty is similar to constant geolocation during rapid movement, when the device continuously spends energy searching for the anchor point.
A person who is in a situation that he identifies as dangerous also spends significantly more energy to orient again and again in what is happening... and orient again... and again.
This is what causes rapid burnout: batteries run out three times faster, as they are spent trying to catch order, pattern and develop a way to adapt.
Sometimes it is advised, in response to external unpredictability, to increase the rigidity of the internal routine. Such behavior is illustrated, for example, by a model of a tightly closed nutshell, around which the ocean is raging. The element throws the nut up and down the waves, hits the stones, but its contents remain safe and sound.
Unfortunately, this model does not describe well what happens to us. First, the nut doesn't care where it goes, but we don't. Secondly, in the walnut model there is a clear boundary between the external and internal environment. The nut itself, the ocean itself. And in each of the human systems (family, business, work, creative process) the most important thing happens at the boundary between inside and outside. Our inner is part of the outer. Rather, it can be compared to a tree in a storm. If the tree is too stiff, if it does not bend under the wind, sooner or later it will not withstand the stress and will break.
That's why it doesn't help to simply increase the order within in response to the unpredictability of the outside: because there is no pure "inside" and pure "outside." It is impossible to remain sincerely serene when finances are melting, people quitthe risks are rising. You can try to restrain feelings artificially, clench your teeth, escalate tension, but we have already talked about this. So you can’t cope with burnout, but, on the contrary, you will provoke it. Well, direct attempts to streamline "what can be streamlined" do not help because, as a rule, they are possible only at the lowest level. Arranging papers into folders is, of course, a useful thing, but it will not be possible to cope and survive in this way.
The truth is that there can be a lot of uncertainty in a situation of iron formal order. There is a story about how even in the very last days of existence fascist reich any attempts of treason or escape were promptly detected and severely punished. At the same time, both at the front and in management affairs, complete collapse reigned for a long time. In the same way, in private life, a person can follow the routine and regime, but feel the strongest confusion and burn out even more from this contradiction.
What needs to be changed in order not to burn out in uncertainty
As I said above, the state of a person in uncertainty is a constant search for binding, geolocation. At the same time, they have a constant background alarm. On a bodily, emotional and cognitive level, this leads to a combination of freezing and overexciting:
- run intrusive thoughts and feelings in a circle;
- the impossibility of complete relaxation, the accumulation of tension in the muscles, "tied up in a knot", "collected in a ball";
- a constant mode of mobilization, readiness, "at the start" - without a distinct detente;
- vanity, flickering, inability to complete a thought, feeling, action.
This general pattern, which affects the body, emotions, thoughts and behavior, leads to a huge waste of energy and to a rapid burnout.
Anxiety makes one both overexcited and internally constrained.
We get hot and can't open the lid to release steam.
This is a devastating combination that causes you to burn out at triple the rate.
Uncertainty lasts unpredictably long, so it is impossible to quickly “defeat it and move to order”. Our goal is to remove the combination of stiffness and overexcitation and restore flexibility to ourselves and our feelings. Only then can we regain the ability to conserve resources, set our own goals, stay active and alive.
Instead of stiffness and overexcitation - the ability to relax and be active on your own.
If we want to avoid burnout, we need the outside world not to impose anything on us:
- no hasty decisions, no numbness and eternal procrastination;
- no conflicts and breakups, no clinging to unnecessary relationships or work;
- no feeling of confusion, no desire to quickly land on any, no matter which shore;
- not false optimism (“everything will get better!”), no expectation of the apocalypse.
Thus, we have two "anti-burnout" tasks:
- Stop wasting energy on defending against uncertainty and trying to control it. Stop being afraid of an external storm, get used to it, enter into a rhythm with it, pulsate and flicker, get used to "living in zero gravity."
- Learn to show your own activity within the framework of uncertainty: set goals, determine the direction of movement, move forward, ensuring safety.
Let's start with the first goal. I will provide a sequence of tasks and exercises designed to help you successfully adapt to the uncertainty in your life. I developed these exercises for my clients, so I will describe them along with the problem they "answer". This context will allow you to understand how relevant this exercise in adapting to uncertainty is for you.
How to get comfortable in uncertainty and win back your energy from it
Valentina complains that “I just got up in the morning - an hour has passed, and already tired». Together we make assumptions about what exactly Valya is doing at this hour or what is happening to her. It turns out that during this hour, Valya, as it were, forms his own "morning newspaper of panic", scooping terrible news from the global or local agenda (this and that happened, in the world, with me, with my acquaintances). Valya feels that all her inner space (feelings, thoughts) is occupied by heaps of uncertainty, which she did not have time to think and feel, and new and new troubles are falling from above, so that she cannot do anything control. This creates the feeling that "hands drop" and "there is no strength."
ABOUT doomscrolling (doomscrolling - continuous search for bad news on the Internet) I would like to say a few words separately. This habit can become a way to procrastinate, which not only interferes with work, but also helps burn out. Many read the news almost continuously, in anxious anticipation (it doesn't really matter what). Attempts to discipline oneself usually do not help: a person refrains from thought-scrolling for some time, but then plunges into it again. This is typical behavior for any addiction.
Doomscrolling overrides all interests and hobbies, moreover, the routine of everyday life.
Reformats attention (makes it short, reduces concentration). Doomscrolling is lulling. Strange as it may seem, and blasphemous as it may seem, information about aggression, violence and similar things hypnotizes, plunges into a stupor and impotenceputs you in an anxious trance. Small doses of dopamine from disturbing news literally change the neurochemical balance - and for a long time. Oddly enough, the brain gets used to receiving perverse pleasure from anxiety, fear, impotence, and suffering in general. He retunes to these sources of emotional nutrition, and other, healthier ones no longer satisfy him. Doomscrolling in chaos is as different from a healthy desire to be well-informed as cookies are to coffee from the endless consumption of cakes.
Perhaps uncertainty imposes on you, like Vale, its agenda, taking away your strength. I suggest that you replace the "panic newspaper" with more constructive news and stop giving your energy to uncertainty. Here's what you can do.
1. Watch your anxiety habits. When does it take over you: in the morning, before bed, during your morning coffee? What is the entrance gate: news, telephone, communication with certain people, work, going out, your own thoughts?
2. Set up office hours of your choice for thinking about uncertainty and worrying. It must be a clearly defined hour or minute. For the rest of the time, follow the instructions below.
3. Anxiety - this is tightness and depression, fixation, stiffness. So what we need is inner activity and mobility. It is better than denial and ignorance, as well as excitement and agitation. Therefore, having caught yourself on the fact that anxiety takes possession of you outside of office hours, you say to yourself: attention, stop! And take out the prepared cheat sheet. It consists of 4-5 simple actions, necessarily physical, with small pauses between them. For example:
- straighten your shoulders, as if wings (move away from the tortoise shell);
- take a deep breath a couple of times;
- change posture;
- say to yourself “uff” or something else insignificant;
- to focus on on what is happening outside the window.
All this takes about a minute and a half. In order not to start a mental chewing gum that requires new portions of information, you need to shift your attention to the body. In doomscrolling or internal murmuring, all we need is the head. And we live with the whole organism. At first, such pauses, "interrupters" (even if this mumbling is almost hidden from your inner eye), will need a lot. When you learned to drive a car, coordination skills also did not come immediately.
4. You need regular pauses in which you break the established mental activity - inertia, punched through by anxiety. We need contact with nature, informal chatter, disconnection from screens. Schedule these outages regularly. You can - 30 seconds 30 times a day or whatever you like.
What is the weather today? What would you like now, except for the victory of good over evil? Right now, for yourself?
If you get used to such pauses, your brain will “commit reboot”, will become clearer and fresher for decision making. Probably, after that, other ways of interruption will become possible: three minutes of reading (even if attention jumps), memories. We mobilize the possibilities of our will and mind, make them more manageable.
5. When your mind stops jumping into an anxious funnel of fuss and numbness, you can dose news and experiences, ethics and empathy, stress and humor, imagination and consideration. You will be able to separate one from the other, you will be able to empathize and be critical.
6. What to do with uncertainty during her office hours? Some try to solve the problem radically: just stop reading the news. It is not right. Avoiding negative experiences (encountering news of death of people, his fear and sadness), a person begins to think that he is not able to withstand difficult emotions at all. In addition, the source of chaos is not only news, but also the surrounding life, from which you can’t hide anywhere. We don't want to become ostriches, do we? It is better to stay informed, but at the same time to control the process of interacting with the terrible.
To do this, I advise you to publish your own "newspaper of feelings." When interacting with uncertainty factors (with your thoughts, current events, or news from the Internet), keep a pen and notepad ready. Briefly from time to time write down in it a phrase about what you saw or heard. Be sure to express your personal attitude to what is happening! Try to notice and feel your fear, anxiety, excitement, grief, joy. It is better to cry when you see or remember something terrible, or get very frightened by thinking about terrible scenarios, than to sit in a daze trying to cope with your anxiety.
In the process of dealing with uncertainty, do not forget about yourself. Move, stand up, relax, breathe. Pour yourself some tea.
Keep a notebook and re-read the previous page before the next piece of news. This will help you experience feelings in order, without driving them away and not “throwing the next ones onto the previous ones,” as Valya did.
You don't know what will happen tomorrow. But you know exactly what you experienced.
You tame the inner panic - and the external uncertainty is not able to take away your life and feelings.
7. Practice switching. I suggest to my clients to cultivate switching between different states: passivity and arousal, concentration and distraction. All this is done with the same goal: to own your inner landscape, and not to submit to uncertainty, not to freeze in front of it.
Switching training helps to reconnect the word, image, feeling and experience. When you know exactly what:
- a minute ago they sat relaxed, and now they got up and stretched;
- in the morning you spent fifteen minutes mourning and mourning unfulfilled opportunities, and at noon you plan specific steps-steps to get out of the situation;
- spent seven minutes watching the news and are not going to spend more time on it;
- give yourself the opportunity to actively despair before coffee, during coffee you switch from despair to watching squirrels in the park, and after coffee - to the mailing list summary potential employers, you are on the right track.
You don't tame the danger, it's impossible. But you can put your anxiety on a long leash. Anxiety claims to completely capture your consciousness, destroying all boundaries: […] I work, but I myself mentally worry that the work it won’t be soon, I rejoice with an eye, despair furtively, but I don’t give myself the opportunity to mourn the losses (after all, I have to work, get out and “not unstick"). Everything is in a heap and nothing is ever completed, all the time something unformed, confused and in a hurry - this is what anxiety is in a situation of uncertainty.
The exercises that I suggest give you control and ultimately help you stay alive and feeling, not to fall into a stupor, to observe uncertainty more consciouslyto stay away from her for a while.
Movement in uncertainty
Now let's move on to the second problem: active solutions.
If you've made any progress towards flexibility and adaptability, you've already begun to tackle this challenge as well. You have created the right ground for good decisions to be made by yourself, not your anxiety.
But what to do next? Horizon in fog. Either the results will come or they won't. Where to move, what to invent, on the basis of what criteria to make a choice? Even if you use common sense and rely on intuition, in such conditions it is very difficult to operate. And life requires activity, sometimes you have to move quickly. You constantly make mistakes, blame yourself, lose your inner balance.
The problem is that external decision criteria do not work. We cannot predict anything. Many people stop there and do as their habitual feelings tell them. For example:
- numb in hopelessness, hiding behind rational motives: “Anyway, nothing unknown, let's wait." Although they do not wait at all, but simply froze in confusion, perhaps losing time;
- rushing about and fussing, explaining it like this: “Something must be done!”;
- make important decisions at random: “Tomorrow will be too late!”
We can explain our actions as rationally as we like, but in fact, the choice of strategy in chaos is largely determined by our character and mood. The calm always believe that there is still time, the restless - that they must hurry. When we are sad and anxious, we see only an abyss ahead, when we are full of energy and fighting enthusiasm - we are sure that it is worth fight and win. Either view can be wrong or right, and there is no way to know the future before it happens. This is the essence of uncertainty: events cannot be predicted.
- We urgently bought the currency, and the next day it doubled again. Urgently bought currency, and four months later it turned out that they had bought it at the maximum price.
- They urgently packed their things, threw everything else away and rushed across the border. The next day, no one could leave the city. Urgently packed up, everything else was abandoned and rushed across the border. After a while, it turned out that it was possible to pack up with much more comfort or not leave at all.
Familiar?
There are no wrong steps to be taken. But in the process of making decisions, you can make adjustments for your own character, states, feelings that you know.
1. Questions about adaptation. Am I feeling paralyzed or paralyzed and thrashing about at the same time? Can I relax and get the "panic agenda" out of my head? How strong is the anxiety? Are there only catastrophic scenarios in my head, or am I allowing for the possibility of others?
The answers to these questions show who is making the decision now: you or your anxiety. If you still have anxiety, try to get along with it at least a little (how exactly - I told above). Decisions dictated by internal chaos may turn out to be correct, but there is a high probability of serious mistakesthat you will regret later. Still, it is better to make decisions on your own, based on your values, your mind and feelings, and not dance to the tune of situationally high anxiety.
2. Questions about personal decision-making habits. How do I usually make decisions? The way I feel right now is like some moment in my past? When I acted in a similar way last time, did I later regret my choice or praise myself for showing composure (quickness, insight, cunning, nobility ...)?
The answers to these questions show how much your decision now is similar to the ones you usually make. In other words, how much your decision is a habitual error, and how much is intuition.
You probably have many examples of how you made a lightning-fast decision and then most often it turned out that it was right or at least not bad. So, this time too, if you already have a quick action plan in mind, you can trust your intuition.
Or vice versa: you remember cases when, in a hurry, you made serious mistakes, but you have examples when you coolly waited and did the right thing at the right time. This means that this time you better refrain from hasty decisions: perhaps they are dictated to you not by intuition, but by anxiety.
3. Questions about values and priorities. What is most important to you in this situation? What do you have priorities, landmarks? What are you most afraid of? What would you like to hope for? What must be preserved and protected? What are you willing to sacrifice?
The answers to these questions give you the only solid and reliable criteria for making decisions in chaos. This is like the faith of Christians, the image of a powerful fortress that can withstand any enemy. However, human nature is such that values begin to work within us only after we have managed to adapt in chaos. It never happens the other way around. It is impossible to actualize values when anxiety is raging inside and / or when you are shackled hand and foot. First flexibility, then finding habitual mistakes, then values.
4. Questions about the external circumstances of decision making. What time do you have? What are your resources? What mistakes can you afford and what can't? How will you plan your activities? Who can help you? Are there any specific threats looming in the immediate horizon?
Only now, when you have studied all the internal criteria for making decisions, can you begin to consider external circumstances and observe that “corner” of the world that concerns you personally.
The rational part of making a decision is just as necessary as the intuitive part, especially if you have time; after all, even in the greatest uncertainty, you can always find information for analysis that will help you see more.
But you need to analyze only the specifics, and not the generalizations that anxiety palms off.
By asking yourself all four kinds of questions, you get some basis for making decisions in chaos. Of course, you can still fail, because the risk of not achieving your goals in a situation of turbulence is very high. But at least now you know more about what can still be determined, and increased the likelihood of success.
Express methods of adaptation to uncertainty
Sometimes we need to make decisions really quickly. Not necessarily large ones: small ones, sometimes, are not easier to accept, but something also depends on them. We have already noted above that attempts to streamline life in uncertainty rarely really help. Much more can give the practice of "order and chaos", which I recommend to my clients. These practices quickly reduce anxiety in the short term and also work for adaptation in the face of uncertainty.
1. Set aside 5-10 minutes three times a day. Find some time (after breakfast, before you start driving, if you are driving, having a cup of coffee…). Relax your muscles, close your eyes, calm down breath. Now imagine one of the following visualizations:
- a transparent glass of tea, in which they chatted with a spoon (the tea leaves take off in a whirlwind from the bottom and begin to slowly settle);
- a flock of seagulls over the sea;
- snowflakes in a blizzard in the dark sky.
You can also use your image (at least the Brownian motion of particles, if you can imagine it).
So, before you is a space in which small elements swarm, flicker, collide and somersault. Now move on to the next step. Let them create a pattern on their own. What is it: a big snowflake, a wheel, waves, a human face? Try to mentally stir the “molecules” with your hands and lay them out, as if creating sand paintings. Alternate anxiety and soothing images. See? You manage them yourself. Keep creating them until your attention gets tired.
2. You can supplement this exercise by creating material pictures. For this, a tray is used, on which a glass of any cereal or sand is poured. It is not necessary to create realistic images: just move your fingers over the grains, observe and associate. What does it look like? What images does your imagination offer you?
If you manage to fully enter the rhythm of the exercise, the pictures will be varied and not imposed. Disturbing and peaceful images will follow each other in a pulsating rhythm. This is what distinguishes the rhythm of the inner life of your imagination from the imposed order that your anxiety offers you.
3. Here is a variation of the exercise that you can do with pencil and paper. Quickly, without lifting the pencil from the paper, draw “kalyaki-malaki” (curved lines, loops, circles, etc.) on the sheet. Now, with the same pencil or colored pencils, color the resulting “kalyaka-malak”. Paint closed paths slowly and thoughtfully, and leave some blank. You will get an abstract picture. In addition to being a do-it-yourself “anti-stress coloring book”, the process gives you the contrast of fast and slow, chaotic and neat action. The line you draw appears quickly, spontaneously and uncontrollably; shading, on the other hand, requires arbitrary attention, precision, and a state of "meditation». Also, you associate freely (what does the painting you created look like?).
Try not to think about anything purposefully in the process of doing the exercises. Give free rein to your thoughts and associations. Watch them, "unraveling" and imperceptibly ordering your inner chaos, collect the world into a single whole.
4. Another version of the exercise, involving the whole body and therefore especially effective, is dancing.
- Stand up straight, inhale and exhale several times, concentrating on your breath.
- Start moving slowly: turn your head, raise your arms, rotate your hands. Look at your movements, be aware of them, you can even out loud (as in a game with a small child) or pronounce them to myself: “I spread my fingers”, “and now I raise my hands up”, “and now I rotate pelvis." Do what you want in any order, but smoothly, slowly and consciously. Continue like this for about two minutes (or as long as you like).
- Now start moving quickly, abruptly, chaotically and unconsciously. Your goal is to “let yourself go” as much as possible. Pull and shake your arms, legs, jump, suddenly turn around, squat, if the situation allows - lie down and roll. Adopt awkward poses. If you have habitual muscle clamps or movement restrictions due to injuries, illnesses, do the exercise carefully, and still try to relax as much as possible. It turns out something like a "shaman dance"? Fine! Is it funny for you to think how it looks from the outside? Just great. Keep moving for about two minutes (or as long as you like).
- Finish the exercise with a few smooth soothing movements. Raise and lower your hands. Stay still for a few seconds. Calm your breath again.
If the exercise was performed with full dedication, after it you will feel bodily and mental "reboot". The meaning of the exercise is that we have a sequence of simple, but not fully programmed physical actions. This sequence is controlled, but arbitrary.
Dialogues in limbo
The feeling of uncertainty around causes many people to want, as the English say, to explain it away - this expression can be translated as "with the help of explanations, get out of sight." Rationalize, generalize, conceptualize the problem - and now it seems to be ordered, a solution plan is outlined, and so on. Meanwhile, our inner feeling, our intuition unmistakably tells us that in fact we have collided with something extraordinary that our solutions do not work here (or maybe not work at all none). At the same time, the “old” reasons for the increase in tension have not disappeared anywhere either. There are still conflicts of interest, struggle opinions, many have a desire to take over, to assert themselves.
Add to this the lack of time, attempts to find the guilty ones, the impossibility in many cases to openly to express anger - and it becomes more than clear why in difficult times it is difficult to talk with others and with yourself.
The dialogue turns out to be unproductive, not fruitful, but “draining”. He does not satisfy, worse than that, he can ruin cooperation and cause him to burn out.
How not to quarrel if a series of problems lasts unpredictably long? Answer: pay attention to the important parameters of your dialogs.
1. In a stormy situation, it is even more important than "in calm weather" to pay attention to the context and atmosphere of the conversation, and not just the essence of the matter. Sometimes it's very helpful to put the "most important" aside altogether and talk about the communication process, focusing on constantly checking the quality of the conversation. Part of communication should always be about how we communicate. In chaos, the share of this “how” is much higher.
2. Pay special attention to the voltage parameter as such. Most likely, you will notice that both you and the interlocutor often want to “push”, “sell” something at the level of intonation, phrase. Try to focus on installation: more important communicatethan to achieve.
3. If the conversation gets "hot", go back and look at exactly how it happened - not at the essential and semantic level, but at the procedural level. Most likely, before the “boiling up”, the dialogue turned into an exchange of monologues. There is a high probability that the conversation was “warmed up” by assessments, comparisons, and the introduction of the parameter of guilt.
4. Especially increases the temperature and pressure in the "cauldron" any abstraction and generalization. This is because each participant may have their own competing concept, model of what is happening. The imposition of this model is a hidden struggle for power in conversation. Try not to generalize and go to the details. This way you will be able to avoid this struggle.
5. Practice casual conversations about anything (but calm and short) - it's better than long, stressful and problematic conversations. Talk more often and less structured than you are used to. Touch difficult topics casually, keep your distance from them.
6. Do not be afraid that reducing the tension and density of the conversation will make you "weak". You don't have to push to stay strong. It is much more important to feel your boundaries and correctly calculate the time. A forceful decision never gives a strategic gain, and a tactical one is often in question. In conditions of increased tension, it is more difficult to see the specifics of reality, which means that it is easier to make mistakes. This observation is true at all levels of decision making.
7. Meaning courtesy and tact, not only in showing each other small signs of respect and attention, but also in to make the conversation less dense, "punctuate", let the air in between replicas and ideas. Smiles, pauses, slowing down and speeding up, changing the timbre of the voice - all this is possible in any conversation, regardless of its degree of importance or urgency.
The role of dialogue in preventing burnout cannot be overestimated. A good conversation simultaneously tones up (if there is not enough energy) and reduces internal tension. Inside each replica of such a dialogue, even insignificant, there is an intonation “I see and understand you”, “I sympathize with you”. The better we learn to be together and not break the little non-verbal threads that are tied between people in contact, the easier it will be for us to live and work in conditions of high risks.
Results
A time of high uncertainty dramatically increases the risk of burnout. We constantly feel need “to determine our coordinates”, to understand where we are, what awaits us and what we should do. This takes a lot of energy. Growing anxiety makes us both numb and fussy, imposes its agenda on us.
In order to survive in uncertainty and keep moving forward, we have to solve two problems: adapt and learn to make decisions based on internal criteria and observation of close external environment. I have developed several techniques and exercises that help solve both problems. In addition, we talked about how to engage in dialogue with others in times of uncertainty and how such dialogue can contribute to or reduce burnout.
The book "Life Without Burnout" is useful for those who want to understand themselves and find the causes of burnout, as well as help colleagues, friends and relatives to cope with this condition. The author shares self-diagnosis algorithms and offers proven exercises that increase stamina and concentration, they teach you to make decisions on a sober head, and also get rid of constant anxiety.
Buy a bookRead also📌
- 5 Habits That Can Improve Mental Stamina
- How not to go crazy when everything in life is uncertain
- 3 Strategies to Change Your Internal Dialogue and Manage Anxiety