How to change your habits for the better once and for all
Miscellaneous / / April 02, 2023
It won't take 21 days at all.
Why it's hard to change habits
When we perform repetitive actions, our brain forms neural connections. And the more often we repeat something, the stronger they become. Imagine a person who is just learning to drive a car. First, he remembers what to do and in what order, then slowly and carefully repeats the sequence of steps, and when he does it enough times, he stops thinking about how to start the engine and change gears. It becomes an automatic habit.
In the same way, we form good and bad habits throughout our lives. And as soon as some habit rooted, it is quite difficult to get rid of it. Our brain considers any repetitive behavior important and does not distinguish between what is good for us and what is not. It simply maintains a familiar course of action. Therefore, in order to get rid of bad habits, you will have to spend time and effort on serious work on yourself.
How to change habits
- Do something simple and doable every day until it becomes automatic. For example, if you want to learn a foreign language, make it a rule to learn 10 new words every day. The benefit of any habit is that once it is formed, we require significantly less mental energy, attention and conscious motivation to maintain it.
- Gradually move from small goals to larger ones. Otherwise, you will quickly get tired and lose motivation.
- When mastering a habit, choose a convenient context. For example, study a foreign language right after dinner.
- Clearly define goals. This will help not to be sprayed and make more efforts in the right direction.
- The process of forming a habit can peak and then stagnate. To prevent this from happening, raise your rates regularly. Say, first learn 10 foreign words a day, then 20, 30, and so on.
- Consider the features of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. intrinsic motivation is not connected in any way with the outside world, does not depend on possible rewards, deadlines or pressure from outside and helps to move forward in the long term. The action of extrinsic motivation is usually short-lived, gradually tiring, and sometimes completely accompanied by unpleasant consequences.
- Until your behavior becomes automatic, you will be required to be aware, self-controlled, and willing to feel uncomfortable. Even for very complex actions, a high level of automatism can be achieved, but for this it is necessary to keep working even when you do not feel too good emotionally or physically.
- Keep in mind that more complex habits will take longer to implement.
- use the power rewards. This will teach the brain that the action deserves to be remembered. For example, eat a piece of chocolate after every foreign language lesson. The principle of reward can also be used to eliminate bad habits. Analyze what kind of pleasure they give you, and think about how else you can get it.
- Consciously do something you haven't done before. As the power of habit grows, our intentions matter less and less. The desire to change is not enough, because certain things are already happening in our brains. habit-maintaining processes, such as the production of the hormone dopamine or the creation of association chains. Therefore, you will have to apply willpower and consciously change the existing patterns of behavior.
- Be prepared to spend time and effort. For my books “Habits are good, habits are bad. The science of positive change,” psychologist Wendy Wood conducted a study and found that 43% of our actions are habits. This means that in order to change the old and consolidate the new behavior, you have to sweat.
- Rearrange the environment to support good habits. For example, buy interesting textbooks for learning a foreign language or issue a special workplace for classes.
- Involve a friend or family member in the process. The Partner will help you stay interested and motivated, as well as become a support and support.
- Develop awareness and curiosity. They will allow you to open up to new habits and get rid of repetitive old patterns of behavior.
- Find a personal purpose or meaning in taking certain actions that resonate with your values. This will make it easier to maintain long-term motivation.
- Inspire yourself to implement good habits with self-compassion and self love.
We used to think that a new habit can be formed in 21 days. But research showthat, depending on the complexity, it takes about 66 days, and sometimes more. At the same time, behavior patterns never completely disappear - they are stored in the structure of our brain.
On the one hand, this is useful, because we can continue the abandoned habit from where we left off. On the other hand, harmful patterns of behavior also remain in our minds and wait in the wings. So it's important to remember that changing habits will require mindfulness, repetitive action, determination, and a willingness to be uncomfortable.
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- What is a stack of habits and how it makes life better
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