What is gentle parenting and how it helps to strengthen the bond with the child

What are the Benefits of Gentle Parenting?

This is a way of parenting in which parents make an active effort to understand the feelings and motives of the child's behavior, demonstrating empathy and respect and maintaining clear boundaries.

If you think that the role of adults is to remain the unquestioning authority over children, this parenting style may not be right for you. Its peculiarity is not to completely control the child, but to guide him, interacting as a team.

From the perspective of gentle parenting, behavior is a form of communication, and any experience associated with it should be accepted. Children have their own emotions, and gentle parenting encourages adults to empathize with those emotions. help the child calm down if necessary, and then discuss how he felt and why he behaved in a certain way way.

What are the principles of gentle parenting?

Empathy

This key element. Parents, even with the best intentions, often belittle or completely ignore the emotions and experience of the child. This makes him feel like he doesn't matter and no one cares about his opinion.

Gentle parenting encourages adults to take into account children's experiences and try to understand the reason for the behavior before reacting to what is happening.

Borders

It may seem that gentle parenting excludes discipline, and undesirable behavior of the child remains without consequences. This is one of the main biases associated with this parenting style. In fact, it's not like that at all.

There is a significant difference between lack of discipline and lack of punishment. Gentle parenting relies on respect for boundaries, which are established through joint discussion and determination of natural consequences. With this approach, discipline for parents means the opportunity to help the child learn the lesson on his own and understand why his behavior is unacceptable. For example, a natural consequence of failure brush your teeth - bad breath, and later also caries.

In this, soft parenting is strikingly different from other approaches, when punishment is far from always directly related to misbehavior, for example, parents take a tablet from a teenager because he impudent.

Gentle parenting calls for setting boundaries that promote healthy, stable family environments and create an atmosphere of love. The limits of what is acceptable may vary from family to family, but it is assumed that the basis is always communication between parents and children and a discussion of mutual expectations. For example:

• The child is allowed to spend a certain amount of time with the tablet every day. One day, he extends this time without asking. But instead of punishing him, his parents ask how many hours he thinks and why he should devote to the gadget, and together they come to a reasonable decision.
• The teenager constantly invites friends to visit with an overnight stay. Parents explain why this is not the best solution, pointing to natural consequences, such as lack of sleep and lack of time to complete homework. The family decides to take a break and temporarily stop the sleepovers in order to determine the rules by which they will occur.

Respect

With gentle parenting, adults are not authoritarian figures for the child. And he should not respect "parents in a vacuum." This means that mom and dad need to be careful to communicate with their son or daughter in an uplifting and respectful tone, not condescending and dismissive.

The easiest way to show respect is to listen to the child when he speaks, ask questions, and only then react.

Understanding

When a child feels that they are being heard and understood, they are much more likely to turn to their parents when faced with difficulties. Moreover, with this approach, children will be more willing to listen to the words of adults and follow their rules.

Some manifestations of childhood and adolescence can be very difficult to deal with. You can explain to the child day and night why he is wrong, having spent all his strength, but he will still throw a tantrum. At such moments, you need to remember that the behavior of the child is not a direct reflection of education. An important aspect of gentle parenting is understanding how children develop at different ages and not expecting them to behave precociously. The job of mom and dad is to be there and try to build a close, trusting relationship with their son or daughter.

Is it worth applying the principles of gentle parenting

Of course, only you can decide how gentle parenting is right for you and your family. However, it is quite an interesting parenting style that has quite a few pros:

• It helps a child develop self-confidence, independence, stable self-esteem and strong emotion management skills.
• Teaches the child empathy by understanding how his actions affect his parents.
• Gives parents the opportunity to motivate the child, helping him solve problems and guiding him along the right path.
• Improves social skills and visually shows the child how to interact effectively with others.
• Strengthens family relationships communication lighter and reduces the number of conflicts.

On the other hand, gentle parenting also has its downsides. This approach takes a lot of time, because adults need to develop patience and try to really understand the child. They will have to abandon the usual methods of education and learn new ones.

Soft parenting doesn't encourage raising your voice. Parents must remain calm so that the child remains calm. When adults scream, they provoke the same reaction in response. Instead, gentle parenting offers open communication and a firm tone when needed.

But in real life, moments when parents lose their temper are not at all uncommon. We are all human, and people tend to lose patience. We can get angry break loose and make a scandal. In such a situation, gentle parenting calls for smoothing the edges by admitting your mistake and sincerely apologizing. For example: “You know, I have to apologize for yelling at you. I was very upset and didn't want to do it. I know it doesn't do any good. I will try to remain calm, even when upset about something.

Unlike other styles, gentle parenting takes into account one important element - the ability of parents to regulate their own emotions and behavior. It focuses on self-awareness, self-discipline, and the ability to act rather than react. At the same time, many mothers and fathers, no matter how old they are, are only learning themselves how to behave and how not to behave.

That is why soft parenting is a rather difficult parenting style. They are required to show the child an example of effective communication, although they themselves may not yet fully understand how this works. Many parents who try this approach feel guilty about trying to be gentle with their child, but it doesn't always work out.