How to go from a blank-eyed zombie to a well-rested person

Kara King's book "All Adults Are Unhappy" consists of 20 lessons on finding inner harmony. This is a guidebook for people who are so obsessed with their problems that they no longer enjoy life. With the permission of the Bombora publishing house, we publish an excerpt from the chapter "Adults are always tired."

Almost every day, a typical adult actively thinks about all the important and not so important things, at the same time sorting out current problems in his head. It may seem strange, but if you lie on the couch for a long time without moving, seriously immersed in sad thoughts, you will soon find out how terribly exhausted and tired you are.

In the adult world, it's natural to relentlessly twirl the most unpleasant things in your head, whether it's bad memories, fears or vague fears, past hurts or recent failures. And it never occurs to any of us that our brain is the same organ as, say, our arms or legs. And if you diligently sort out your limbs, making them work for wear and tear day and night, then do not be surprised that they will start to hurt or make themselves felt through unpleasant sensations.

The human brain is also far from a source of infinite power, so negative thoughts and anxieties can greatly deplete its resources.

And the daily reflection on all sorts of sorrows - and even more so. At the same time, you do not have to move physically at all in order to exhaust both your body and soul. According to my modest observations, just an hour of unpleasant conversation or hovering in a cloud of heavy thoughts is enough to deprive yourself of strength for the next day. In every sense of the word.

Adult people are generally not very inclined to conserve their internal resources, and therefore they rarely come up with the idea to stop needlessly tormenting their own nervous system. And this is very bad. Because in order for your brain to have the opportunity to recover from exhausting work, just sleeping one night will not be enough. After all, negative emotional experiences and fears take much more strength from our body than a long workout in the gym. And the resources of the brain are not infinite. The more often you torture yourself by mentally returning to bad events or thoughts, the stronger your fatigue will be.

Of course, it is unlikely that you can do without negative thoughts, even if you try hard. But make it a rule not to go too far with this and not overload your unfortunate brain, signaling you in every possible way that it needs rest. Feelings of guilt, fear, resentment, anger or disappointment are all bad, difficult emotions, for the “digestion” of which the human nervous system requires a very large amount of internal resources. Because when you are stressed, your body starts behaving inappropriately. And in order to drive yourself into this state, it is not at all necessary to experience some new shock. It is enough to mentally return to an unpleasant topic that haunts.

If you have no desire to lose your vigor and go crazy prematurely, then introduce a new and mandatory item into your daily routine: taking care of your own nervous system.

Give her the opportunity to recover and relax, give your tired brain a daily relaxation in order to at least partially unload it and get rid of feelings of depression and emotional burnout.

Remember that you will always have time to think about something bad or think about unpleasant worries - they certainly will not run away from you. Therefore, there is no reason to sink into this atmosphere of despair for a long time or to practice it regularly. If you feel like poking around in your old phobias or remembering your recent anxieties, force yourself to cut them off. Instead of cultivating mental fatigue and draining nerve cells, turn 180 degrees.

Anticipating the approaching "thunderstorm", do something that is guaranteed to bring you joy or cheer you up. Finally, go to sleep or take a bath with aromatic sea salt. Or drink tea with sweets, abruptly breaking off the attempts of your inner self to revive negative images in your mind. This may seem like the most difficult task to begin with, but you need to learn how to switch your brain from something bad to something good. And force him to abstract even from the worst thoughts. After all, in the end, this body belongs entirely to you. And if you, a typical adult, are not able to cope with your own head and its contents, then how can you manage your life at all?

Most negative experiences do not require any deep analysis from an adult. Even if you are trying to convince a crowd of carnivorous psychologists. They just need something to eat, and they also have children at home who need to be supported. So it's easier to inspire a desperate adult with the idea that everything bad should be carefully chewed over and over again. At a minimum, this process can last indefinitely, aggravating the patient's psycho-emotional background and making it possible to extort more and more money from the unfortunate person.

Reshape your mind and give up a long stay in your own negative emotions. After all, you wouldn't scrutinize what came out of you after breakfast in the toilet, would you? And all your bad thoughts that have settled somewhere in your head are nothing but waste products of the brain. And if you don’t go through them regularly, your brain will eventually be able to utilize them, and you will feel happier and lighter. If, on the other hand, to infinity force yourself again and again to return to the things experienced and feelings that cause discomfort, you can soon start to move your mind. And there is no logic in such a model of behavior and cannot be.

If you feel tired, then the wisest thing would be to stop tormenting your thoughts and rest. Exactly the same as you go to the toilet if you feel that the bladder is full. Or drink a glass of water if you are thirsty. The brain and emotional state is as complete a system as any other in your body. And ignore the persistent requests of the mind is not worth it.

Enduring fatigue and mental burnout is the most obvious signal that an adult has not paid attention to the cries and pleas of his own brain for too long.

As a result, the body is in a depressed state and is little able to continue its full functioning. And if you charge him with a new portion of bad experiences, then the “motor” will simply burn out. And you will plunge into a melancholic or depressive state for a long time. When even the performance of primitive everyday affairs will not be left with either physical or moral strength.

Now we will act differently. Feeling exhausted and squeezed like a lemon? So your brain needs relaxation. Switch your thoughts to something neutral or positive, completely disengaging from negative emotions. Do not make important decisions and move all important thoughts to a more appropriate time. Unload your mind as much as possible. And make it a rule to go to sleep in this state.

Of course, a typical adult needs many other things for a good rest: fresh air, travel, pleasant experiences, delicious food. All these positive feelings can form an effective therapy for a tired soul and an exhausted consciousness. But if you keep digging through the mountains of emotional garbage, basking in the rays of the ocean sun, then this will not make any sense.

In All Adults Are Unhappy, you'll learn how to turn off tiredness mode and learn how to put your brain in carefree mode. And you will also understand why making mistakes is not scary, but very good.

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