6 traps that steal time

There is a very good chance that you are among the poorest people in the world. And it's not about the bank account. According to researchModern parenthood: Roles of moms and dads converge as they balance work and family / Pew Research Center50% of working Americans are "always in a hurry" and 70% are "always" running out of time.

"Temporary poverty" is a serious problem that research bindT. Kasser, K. M. Sheldon. Time affluence as a path towards personal happiness and ethical business practice: Empirical evidence from four studies / Journal of Business Ethics with various troubles. The people who face it lessC. Mogilner A. Whillans, M. I. Norton. Time, money, and subjective well-being / Handbook of Well-being happy and productive, experience much more stress. They are lessS. Roxburgh. “There just aren’t enough hours in the day”: The mental health consequences of time pressure / Journal of Health and Social Behavior exercise, eat

moreJ. Jabs, C. M. Devine. Time scarcity and food choices: an overview / Appetite fatty foods and more oftenD. Venn, L. Strazdins. Your money or your time? How both types of scarcity matter to physical activity and healthy eating / Social Science & Medicine suffer from cardiovascular disease. The "poverty of time" forces us to make compromises. Instead of preparing a hearty dinner, we grab chips and chew them mindlessly in front of the TV.

The most obvious justification for this is that our generation works much more than the previous one. However, research showS. Lee, D. McCann, et al. Working time around the world / Routledge Studies in the Modern World Economythat over the past 50 years, the amount of free time for men has increased by 6-9 hours a week, for women - by 4-8 hours. Then why do we feel so poor?

“Temporary poverty” has to do with how we think about and value our time. When there is a free hour, we are not ready to use it to our advantage, so we waste it. Or we convince ourselves that we don’t need a break, and continue to work hard. To learn how to properly manage time, you need to find traps that prevent you from doing it.

1. Gadgets turn our time into confetti

Technology not only saves time, but also takes it away. We use gadgets to control when and how long we work. But the irony is that in the end we we work constantly.

The free time we used to enjoy is now spent checking our phones. As a result, long breaks turn into separate fragments, during which it is almost impossible to rest. Some researchers call this phenomenon "temporal confetti" - bits of seconds and minutes that are used for completely unproductive multitasking. Individually, they are not so terrible, but they have a dangerous cumulative effect.

Imagine that you have an hour of free time. In those 60 minutes, you receive two emails, check both, and reply to one. You also receive four notifications on Twitter and view replies on one of them. Then - a few messages in work chats, you answer some, ignore others. And finally, one reminder on your phone and four messages from friends who are trying to schedule a meeting next weekend - you answer everything.

Each of these actions takes only a couple of minutes. However, put them together and you get two negative effects. First, they take away precious time from a free hour. Secondly, break break into fragments. As a result, 60 minutes of rest turn into small blocks of 5-6 minutes between replying to messages and viewing notifications. Even if we do not react and put the phone aside, it harms the rest, because we still start to think about business. As a result we far lessG.N. Tonietto, S.A. Malkoc, et al. When an hour feels shorter: Future boundary tasks alter consumption by contracting time / Journal of Consumer Research we enjoy free minutes and feel that time has flown by quickly, and we have not had enough rest.

2. We focus too much on money

Research showK. Kushlev, E. Dunn. Higher income is associated with less daily sadness but not more daily happiness / Social Psychological and Personality Sciencethat money protects against sadness, but does not give happiness. As soon as we have the opportunity to pay our bills and save a little for the future and entertainment, the increase in the bank account ceases to please.

Scientists even figured outA. T. Jebb, L. Tay, et al. Happiness, income satiation and turning points around the world / Nature Human Behavior the exact amount after which money no longer brings happiness. For example, earning over $60,000 a year no longer affects how much we laugh and smile. And when the amount increases to 95 thousand dollars, we stop thinking about how successful we are. Moreover, the higher the income, the more we doubt our position. This is because we begin to compare ourselves with those who are even richer.

Money definitely protects against stress. When a car breaks down, they are the ones who fix the problem. A decent amount of cash in the wallet makes us calmer. However, do not forget the main thing - money cannot buy happiness. We tend to think that working hard now will free up our time in the future. But this is not always the case. Unfortunately, the pursuit of wealth leadsJ. D. Hur, L.F. Nordgren. Paying for performance: Performance incentives increase desire for the reward object / Journal of Personality and Social Psychology to an even greater desire to increase the bank account.

3. We do not know how to properly evaluate our time.

Many of us are so obsessed with money that we are ready to protect it at the expense of free time.

One of the polls in the USA clearly showedA. v. Whillans, A. C. Weidman, et al. Value time over money is associated with greater happiness / Social Psychological and Personality Science this sad trend. Working parents who have money but no free time were asked the question: “Which would you choose - more money or more time?” 52% chose money.

In another study, only 2% of participants were working parents admittedA. v. Whillans, E. W. Dunn, et al. Buying time promotes happiness / PNASthat they would spend an extra $100 on something that would save them time, like food delivery. Even the respondents, whose bank account averaged three million dollars, saidP. Smeets A. Whillans, et al. Time use and happiness of millionaires: Evidence from the Netherlands / Social Psychological and Personality Sciencethat want to have more money, not free time.

Of course, measuring the true value of time is quite difficult. Even when we make downright bad decisions, like skipping lunch breaks to take even more workWe feel like we're doing everything right. Although in reality we simply do not understand how valuable the time we spend is.

Let's look at a typical vacation situation for many. Instead of buying a ticket for a direct flight, we are looking for options with transfers in the hope of saving a couple of thousand. Yes, the money stays in the wallet. But we pay for this with a long flight, fatigue and stress. Ask yourself: Are your internal resources worth the extra money to be comfortable on the road and spend more time at the resort?

4. We consider employment as a status indicator

Our personality is most strongly connected with work. In one US survey, 95% of young people admittedMost U.S. teens see anxiety and depression as a major problem among their peers / Pew Research Centerthat an exciting and meaningful career is incredibly important to them.

Given the emphasis we place on work, we see employment as a reflection of our status. We wear it like a glittering medal. And everyone wants to be seen as the worker who works the hardest. Even if most of the time it is completely unproductive.

Financial uncertainty feeds our obsession with work. As the chasm between social classes widens, we are more doubtP. K. Piff, M. W. Kraus, et al. Unpacking the inequality paradox: The psychological roots of inequality and social class / Advances in Experimental Social Psychology in their future, regardless of their current status. Those who are doing well are worried that they will fall off the pedestal. Those who are doing badly think that everything would not get worse.

We cope with these feelings by increasing the amount of work and trying to raise earnings. Gradually, guilt is added to this for spending that makes us happy, such as going to a restaurant or going on vacation. We associate our personality with work and productivity so much that the social image of a constantly busy person makes us feel better. And switching attention to something other than work seems like a threat to our well-being and high status. We think that we will no longer be appreciated. And there is some truth in this.

In fact, we ourselves feed the cult of employment. Research showS. Bellezza, N. Paharia, et al. Conspicuous consumption of time: When busyness and lack of leisure time become a status symbol / Journal of Consumer Researchthat employees who brag about being constantly working and always busy seem to us the best in the business. We think they have more money and prestige, even if they don't. Moreover, we find them more attractive.

Even if working past midnight pleases you in the moment, it only adds fuel to the fire of an unhealthy and unhappy life in the future.

5. We are disgusted by idleness

Even if we lived in an ideal society of equals, we would still worry about time. Because we are not made for idleness. Experts call this phenomenon “an aversion to idleness,” and it often causes us to do strange things.

Professor of Psychology at Harvard University Dan Gilbert spentT. D. Wilson, D. A. Reinhard, et al. Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind / Science unusual experiment. He left students in an empty room without any assignment. And most preferred to get a little electric shock, just not to be alone with their thoughts.

Other study showedM. Haller, M. Hadler, et al. Leisure time in modern societies: A new source of boredom and stress? / Social Indicators Researchthat working parents experienced boredom and stress during their leisure time.

Most often, gadgets help us escape our thoughts. But this is just another trap that increases stress levels and steals our time. Technology deprives us of the present moment and does not allow the brain to fully rest.

But idleness, on the contrary, has shown itself to be an excellent option for spending leisure time, which reduces “temporary poverty”. Doing Nothing Helps Our Brain Relax, Which Is Good affectsJ. D. Creswell. Mindfulness interventions / Annual Review of Psychology on our general condition.

6. We are confident that there is still a lot of time ahead.

Most of us are overly optimistic about time. We think that tomorrow it will be much more. This phenomenon is often referred to as the fallacy. planning.

Let's say last Monday a friend asked you to help him move on Saturday. On Tuesday, you promised a colleague to review his report on Saturday. On Wednesday, another friend invited you to a restaurant that you have long wanted to go to, also on Saturday. And then that morning comes. You wake up, remember all the cases and exclaim: “Oh no, what I was only thinking!”

Statistically, the best way to predict how busy we are next week is to look at how busy we are this week. But our brain constantly forgets about it, naively believing that everything will be different. That's why we throw around the word "yes" so much. We sincerely want to say it more often, because it helps to escape from idleness and feel productive, respected and loved. But where do we get the time for all these yeses? It's simple: we take it from ourselves.

Analyze which of these six time traps you most often fall into. Remember that we are all different, which means that your timetraps will not be the same as others. The bottom line is that a trap is a mechanism that makes you unhappy and steals time that you could use with pleasure.

Everyone has the inner strength to resist these traps. To do this, every day you need to take small, but purposeful steps towards free time and the ability to enjoy it. It's not easy. Society and our own psychology make these traps incredibly attractive. Therefore, do not scold yourself if you fail to quickly achieve results.

In addition, we all differently understand what a sufficient amount of free time is. For one, this is an opportunity to play the guitar for 15 minutes, and not sit on social networks. For another, it is meditation, not a discussion of the latest gossip. Whatever it is for you, learn to be mindful of your free time. Feel free to overcome insidious traps and try to find time every day for happy and meaningful moments.