Oysters for lesbians and the praying mantis pose: 5 stories about the strangest dates from Lifehacker readers

“We were both in Blagoveshchensk”

I was subscribed to a public about decorative rats. One day I saw a guy comment there. He wrote that his animals sneezed. I responded to suggest how to solve the problem - most likely, it was the wrong filler.

On this occasion, we wrote off in a personal, but gradually moved on to everyday topics. He turned out to be awesome! We have powerfully aligned interests, if we attribute to them the love of procrastination, video games and living creatures. Plus, we were both in Blagoveshchensk.

So because of the incredible boredom, just a few days later, I simply offered to drive to a barbecue and eat from the belly. We agreed to meet in a couple of hours. I sent him the address, went to the place, but did not see anyone.

It didn't surprise me at all. I lived close and it was easier for me to get there. But after 10-15 minutes it was already tense. Called him. He said that it took a long time for a taxi to reach him. And he clarified: “Is the place really good? In such and such “farts”.

"Which farts?" I told him. Blagoveshchensk. Lenina Street. City center, near the waterfront, with a gorgeous view of China!

He did not understand anything: “What China, what embankment…” Okay. I thought: you never know, maybe a person is poorly oriented in the city or has recently moved? Tried to help and sent him to DVOKUFar Eastern Higher Combined Arms Command School. He again did not understand anything, and then sent a screenshot: “The distance to DVOKU is 4,000 km.” And here the situation took a new turn.

The city of Blagoveshchensk, as it turned out, exists both in Bashkortostan and in the Amur Region. And Lenin Street is in both Blagoveshchensk... But there is no Far Eastern military school there. They laughed heartily. But I still got the barbecue!

As a result, we are still in contact. Constantly played together on the weekends until he was expelled from college and taken to army. He gave away all his game accounts, and for the third month in a row I have been completing tasks on them daily so that he does not fall far behind progress. In general, I didn’t manage to get a man, but I found a cool teammate!

"Ha, he must be joking"

Met a guy on Tinder. The correspondence was short, because we almost immediately decided to meet. At first, we walked around the city all day and, as it seemed to me, had fun.

By the end of the day I was hungry and we decided to have dinner. Before entering the cafe, he asked to wait for him - they say, he would park the car.

And I waited. The first 15 minutes I thought that he was looking for a place for a long time. But after a couple of minutes passed, I decided to call him. He dropped. And after 10 minutes he wrote that he had left on urgent business. I thought: “Ha, he must be joking, now he will go to a cafe.”

But he wasn't kidding. And in the end, I left alone. I even thought - maybe he has no money and he felt embarrassed? Although it was hard to believe. After all, he calmly paid for everything all day! And before going to the cafe, I offered to split the bill, which he also refused.

There were some mixed feelings. I had no idea that the evening could end like this.

The next day I wrote to him: “What if I said that I would go to the toilet and didn’t come back? How would you feel? She made it clear that she was mad at him. He wrote again: "There were urgent matters." Didn't even apologize.

After that, we did not communicate with him. He unsubscribed from me social networks and removed from subscribers. But now sometimes he comes to see my stories! This was the first time in my life and hopefully the last time.

“You ordered oysters, and only lesbians love them”

I recently met a guy from Tinder. In my profile, I mostly had old photos - I was in them with makeup and long hair. In life, I rarely use cosmetics, plus a couple of days before the meeting I made myself a bob.

By communicating on the Web, Sasha (name changed) seemed ordinary to me. Not a prince on a white horse, but also not quite gone, like those guys who throw off pictures of their members or flirt: “Why did you go to the shower without me?”

We agreed to go to a restaurant. He offered sea food, I didn't mind. When he saw my square, he grinned and asked: “What, are you in that very phase?” I thought it was a joke from the category "after breaking up she cut her hair." And she said: “No, I just wanted to.”

At first, everything seemed to be going well. We chatted on abstract topics. True, several times he emphasized that he would pay the bill himself, since this is the duty of a gentleman. I said that I could pay for myself, but if it would be more comfortable for him, then so be it.

And so… When I already thought that the date went well, he suddenly says: “You know, I tested you all evening. First, you ordered oysters. And only lesbians love them.” At this point, I almost fell over. I really wanted oysters, but only because I haven't eaten them in a long time!

“Secondly,” he continued, “you hardly applied makeup. Apparently, you are a feminist or - again - a lesbian. Shock!

“Third, you weren’t hurt by the story about my ex. And fourth, you didn't mind paying the bill. I don't know why you came on a date. I think you are one of those. And nothing will come of it,” he concluded his monologue.

You should have seen my eyes at that moment! For the first couple of seconds I was silent, and then I decided to play along with him: “You revealed me! In fact, I came to convert you to lesbianism and feminism. But since it didn’t work out, then bye! I will pay for my meals myself. We didn't communicate anymore.

"I froze on a girl under a blanket, o ***"

When I was a student, I ended up on a date, which turned into a “let's go to me” closer to the night. That girl was very beautiful and charming. We just got to know each other. At first we walked all day, and then we went to a bar, drank, and she suddenly offered to go to her house.

The girl also studied at the institute. Lived with mom. But she assured me that she was already asleep and would not disturb us. I agreed. We arrived at her place (damn where!), quietly entered the room. It all started... And then - bang!

The door to the room opens, mom in a wheelchair epicly enters it and starts talking to the girl as if nothing had happened. I didn't even turn on the light in the room.

“And when did you return? I have not heard". “Yes, I just got back.” And everything in this spirit. I froze on the girl under the blanket, o ***. They chatted like that for a couple of minutes. All this time I, leaning on my hands like a praying mantis, looked at my mother. And she - as if through me. Then the woman finally left without closing the door behind her.

I never understood if she had vision problems. Plus, the room was dark. Maybe my mom didn't see me at all. The girl did not explain anything, but replied: "Don't worry." It didn't seem like a shock to her at all.

Then we saw each other a couple of times, tried to start a relationship, but it didn’t work out. So I didn't get to meet her mother in broad daylight. But the story is in the collection.

“I have already imagined how the cappuccino he bought will come back to me”

I'm a vegetarian. Registered on Tinder, decided not to indicate that don't eat meat. In my opinion, for most people this fact is uninteresting or unimportant. It can be mentioned during a conversation - for example, when you choose something in a cafe.

With one of the guys, communication began with his proposal: “To hell with correspondence, let's get to know each other live.” I thought, "Why not?"

When meeting, he said that he knew a cool cafe that had recently opened. Suggested to go there. In the end, it turned out that it was shawarma. I said I don't eat meat and he ordered me one coffee.

At first, the conversation turned to neutral topics like favorite films and books. But then the guy suddenly began to talk about his ex-girlfriends and how much money he spent on them. I already imagined how the cappuccino he bought would come back to haunt me.

From one of the stories he was directly bursting with pride: he boasted that he broke up with a girl an hour after the start of a relationship.

At that time, I had very little experience of defending the boundaries and protecting my comfort. I didn’t know how to say: “No, I’ve had enough for now,” so at first I had to listen to him out of politeness. Then, in order to finish this event as soon as possible, I came up with something and asked to be escorted to the bus stop. We didn't try to contact each other after that.