Derek Sivers: "It's my fault"

Each person is faced with problems and setbacks. And if he believes that the only reason here - it's surrounding, it is seriously mistaken. Derek Sivers, Entrepreneur and computer programmer, author of the upcoming book «Anything You Want», shares his thoughts on the issue.

I cut two chapters of his book, because they were too disgusting for me too. In them, I talked about all the gruesome details of how my colleagues rebelled against me, trying to get rid of me, destroyed the culture of the company, turning it into a swamp, where everyone was focused not on the clients, but only on its own benefit.

I was angry with those people for several years, and the feeling of being a victim of forced me to talk about it with their position. At least, I thought so. Why do I cut these chapters? I realized that the blame in all of this was me:

• I let perverted corporate culture.
• I ignored the problem, instead of destroying them in the bud.
• I was dismissed from the team, rather than to instruct and train employees.
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• I beat out all confusing their everyday thoughts. It was necessary to draw them into concrete solutions before sharing them with co-workers.
• I give instructions without thinking or making sure that they are implemented.
• I was not talking to those people. I should carefully choose the responsible persons.

I could list 20 more such moments, but I hope you get the idea. Once I realized that it was my fault, I became much easier. It's even better than forgiving. When we forgive, we still play the victim and continue to believe in them guilty, identifying himself with the noble forgiving person.

After recognizing his error comes the realization that these employees only played their role in the community, which was created by me. It is very important to be able to admit their mistakes. All this happened because of me, and I was wrong, and I drew from this valuable experience and learned a lot.

This philosophy can be applied to almost every aspect of life, because our perceptions and our actions affect everything that happens to us and around us. So, if something went wrong, something in that is my fault. Some guy has withdrawn my money? It's my fault, I was not sufficiently attentive to discern his intentions. love life left me after 6 years of cohabitation, notifying of Email? I let our relationship to chance.

Of course, the word "responsibility" is quite clearly shows this position, but it is too detached concept. Speaking "my fault", we are addressing this is clearly to him.