The art of making good friends: 5 networking rules that will come in handy in life and career

1. Determine what a person can talk about endlessly

The first meeting with a new person should not resemble self-promotion, presentation of your brand or product - this can alienate people. It is important to show interest in the person you are talking to. In the process of dating, try to find out more about his skills, knowledge and connections.

To do this, you need to ask a lot and listen carefully. It is advisable to ask open-ended questions that are conducive to conversation. For example, "Why did you choose this profession?" instead of "You work as a marketer?" For your own comfort, make a list of generic questions and conversation topics. The main challenge is to find common ground, such as mutual acquaintances, similar interests and life experiences, or common business goals. The main thing is that the person should be fascinated to talk about it: watch the emotions and change the subject if he starts to get bored.

This approach will help the other person feel important and positively affect their attitude towards you. Another effective way to please and be remembered by a person is to refer to him by name. By the way, it will be useful for you too - it will help you not to forget the name of the interlocutor.

In general, try not to attach too much importance to meeting a new person - obsession with the choice of words and movements can become an unnecessary cause for excitement and worsen the first impression. Treat this conversation like any other: try to talk and behave as naturally as possible.

2. Make sure to get into the contacts of a new acquaintance

The networking rules have changed - a paper business card for exchanging contacts is no longer relevant. She can get lost among the papers, not be at hand in time, and most importantly, there is a chance that the interlocutor will simply lose her. In order not to cut off the connection at the very beginning of communication, it is important to be on the person's phone when meeting. Tell him your number or email, share your account in social networks and instant messengers.

And be sure to get contacts in return. It will be useful after the meeting to make a note next to the name - to write down especially important details, for example, a profession or a memorable history, so that later you don’t forget who this “Ivan Ivanov” is.

3. Let's not forget about yourself

Dating is fragile. If you do not maintain communication, it can quickly collapse. Therefore, you should not be content with just the appearance of a new person in your contact list. If you contact him in a month or later, he may not remember how he knows you. Or even delete your number and remove it from subscriptions while cleaning contacts.

Ideally, you should write to a new acquaintance within the first day or at least a week after meeting, but it is better not to send a direct reminder message (like “Hello! This is me, have you forgotten yet? "). Find an excuse, for example, refer to what was being discussed in your conversation, and ask the person for some detail. Or reply to a post he posted on social media.

And if a new acquaintance writes himself, do not hesitate to answer. So show that this connection is important to you, and the first conversation was not a simple courtesy.

4. Make lists of interesting people

There should be two of them. In the first, list those you already know, but want to strengthen these relationships (for example, colleagues or classmates, interesting people with whom you met at an exhibition, concert or bar). In the second - those with whom you just want to meet (for example, successful representatives of your profession).

Now you need to write a plan of action. Think about how you can connect with each person. For example, for old contacts - offer to have lunch together, write a private message, preferably not a simple “Hello! How are you? ”, But something personalized, conducive to conversation. For strangers - identify a place where you can meet, subscribe on social media, figure out how to make a good first impression.

Check your action plan monthly to keep track of your progress. But do not take him too seriously and do not be discouraged if something went wrong and some kind of contact failed. Networking is a living process, and there are two parties involved in building connections. It is impossible to jump over your head and force the other person to meet you. You just need to accept and continue to communicate with other, equally cool people.

5. Update information on social networks

If you run social networks, networking works around the clock: new acquaintances can find you themselves. But it is important to keep two points in mind. First, the information must be up-to-date. If your professional status or place of residence has changed, please indicate this in your profile. Otherwise, useful people will not be able to find you, and those who are no longer relevant, on the contrary, will knock on friends. For example, you last edited the description a couple of years ago, when you studied at the university and lived in Ufa, and now you got a job in an IT company and moved to St. Petersburg.

By the way, you should also insert useful links into your profile: to other social networks, your store or portfolio with works. This is a step towards opening new horizons for professional growth.

Second point: make sure that you have not turned off the ability to add you as a friend in the settings. Or they didn't make the profile private at all. Otherwise, neither helpful people, nor potential clients or employers will be able to write to you.

And don't forget about being active on social media. React to the posts of people you are interested in or reply to their comments on other people's posts. This way you can start a conversation, gradually build a connection, and later get to know the person better. It is better that your message is not a simple compliment or laughing emoji, but a phrase that encourages you to continue the conversation. Of course, if the nature of the recording allows and your answer will not seem tortured.