5 important rules for those who decide to take a break in a relationship

Sometimes a break is necessary. It helps you understand how the union affects your life and whether it has a future. In some cases, after such an experience, couples break up completely. However, this is not always the case.

Psychologist Christine Devin notesDoes ‘Taking A Break’ Ever End Well? Here’s What Marriage Experts Say / HuffPostthat many relationships are renewed after a break, and everything depends on the conditions of "rest" from each other. If you stipulate and follow the rules of temporary separation in advance, this will allow everyone to pin the same hopes for this period.

1. Determine the reason

Look inside yourself and try to understand why you need a break at all. Perhaps you have a feeling that the spark has disappeared from the relationship. Or there are major changes in your life, such as moving, and you are not sure that you and your partner have a joint future.

At this stage, it is important to understand whether the identified problem is a reason for a break or a full break. For example, someone in a couple wants to have children, and someone else does not. In this case, a temporary break will not help and it makes sense to end the relationship.

2. Discuss the situation

The break concerns two people, which means that it should be discussed together. This is best done in person.

If you support long distance relationship, contact by video and discuss the situation. This will help count language of the body, non-verbal cues and the partner's genuine reaction, which you will definitely not notice in a telephone conversation, and even more so in correspondence.

3. Indicate the conditions

Be as honest as possible and try not to leave any reservations. Explain why you want to take a break. Decide if you will be communicating during this time, and if so, how often. Remember to agree on whether each of you can date other people while the relationship is paused.

It is especially important to negotiate the terms if you live together. If you have a joint property or a pet that you already have a couple, you need to sort out these questions.

The break is unlikely to be complete if you constantly think about how your cat is there, or about the attachment that was left in that apartment. Try to exclude from your life as much as possible all the things that bind you in order to truly free time alone.

4. Avoid deadlines

Many of us were told at the end of the interview at least once that they would call back within a week. Most often, after such promises, we spend seven days waiting for a call that never comes. It is worth thinking about this in the context of a temporary breakup.

It is not known what difficulties, thoughts and feelings you will face when spending time separately. Perhaps you will be completely unprepared to return to life together by the previously agreed date. This can ruin relationships and lead to unnecessary conflicts. Especially if one is already ready to reunite, and the other needs more time to think.

Finding yourself and your place in a pair or outside of it are too serious questions to give a specific time frame for their solution.

5. Spend your time profitably

During a break, explore yourself outside of the relationship. Revive long-neglected hobbies, chat with family and friends, and even allow yourself to experience the delights of bachelorhood.

Ask yourself why you need a relationship. If only to avoid loneliness, then this is an occasion to wonder if the fear of being alone is really a reasonable reason to stay in a couple.

Do not forget to comprehend your union: what problems it has, you can fix them or not. If you are happier without a partner - most likely, the relationship has become obsolete, and it's time to end it.