5 crazy Scandinavian myths that won't be told at school

1. How Loki became a mare and gave birth to a foal

Long ago, at the dawn of the world, the gods (the northerners called them asses) built 1. S. Sturluson. Prose edda.
2. Broken contract for the construction of the walls of Asgard / Russian Historical Library.
3. Svadilfari / Britannica. home for your loved ones. This was Asgard, a magnificent city.

But after the completion of construction, a problem arose. How to protect your home from unfriendly frost giants? They sharpened their teeth on the gods for the murder of their dad Ymir.

As usual, security issues were taken care of only after the final finishing of the project.

Suddenly, a stern, giant-looking man appeared before the puzzled gods. He himself chose not to introduce himself, but told the ases the name of his horse - Svadilfari. And he also said that with his help, in a short time (two summers and one winter), he would surround Asgard with powerful fortress walls that no living (or not quite living) creature could overcome.

As payment for his services, the bricklayer asked for a mere little - the sun and the moon, in order to warm and decorate Jotunheim, his homeland. And Freyja is the most beautiful goddess of the Aesir.

Asses doubted, and Freyja completely opposed this idea. Marriage, of course, wherever it went, but the sun and the moon - this already does not climb into any gate.

But the god of treachery and deceit Loki promised to settle the issue with the giant. He took an oath from the newcomer that he would work only with his horse and manage to build the wall in one winter. And if it lacks even one pebble, he will not see a reward. The builder instantly agreed. Here the gods should be on their guard, but no. The contract was drawn up, and the mason began to work.

Asam Loki said that everything was under control. Will this smart guy build a lot there alone, or what?

When the contractor does not meet the deadline, the god of deception continued, he will not receive payment. And then you can finish the unfinished wall yourself.

However, the magnificent plan cracked at the seams when it turned out that the builder was literally tireless, and his horse dragged along blocks the size of Everest in one go. Winter was coming to an end, the wall was growing before our eyes. And it became clear that the bricklayer would easily finish it by summer, and that there would still be time left to go on vacation.

Watching how quickly and efficiently the fortifications were being erected, Freya wept. She didn't want to get married at all. The gods were also upset, but they were more worried about the possible loss of the sun and moon. They said that Loki had drawn them into this scam, and he was the one to deal with it. Otherwise, they will kill him so that it is discouraging.

Loki solved the problem in a very non-standard way. He turned into a beautiful mare and seduced Svadilfari. The horse decided that if he rests a little and takes care of the arrangement of his personal life, no one will be worse. While the stallion was away builder he had to carry the materials alone, and he did not have time to put one stone on the wall.

The gods hastened to please the builder with the news that they would not pay. He flared up and said that now the aces would be in trouble. The gods called for help Thor, the son of Odin.

Thor asked the mason if he was a giant at once, and smashed his head with a hammer Mjolnir, just to be on the safe side.

Examined the body and understood - yes, jotun. He just disguised himself well and pasted a fake mustache.

Loki, having got rid of Svadilfari, returned to Asgard and safely gave birth to a foal. He preferred not to answer the questions of the aces, did not react to ridicule and was generally quite silent.

The foal was named Sleipnir and given to Odin. He swung into a huge eight-legged horse, fast as the wind. God was very pleased with him.

Morality: in order not to pay the contractor, some are ready to do the most unexpected things.

2. How the Aesir made the giantess Skadi laugh

Once the gods of Asgard quarreled with the jotun Tiazzi - nothing special, he just stole the rejuvenating apples from them. They killed him and then turned his eyes into stars. But Tiazzi had a daughter, a giantess 1. Snorri Sturluson. Prose edda.
2. Byock, Jesse. The Saga of the Volsungs: the Norse Epic of Sigurd the Dragon Slayer. Skadi, a lover of skiing and winter hunting. And she decided to take revenge.

Skadi was very strong and dangerous, the Aesir could do nothing to her. And they offered a ransom for the murdered father. The giantess agreed, but set her own terms. First, the most beautiful god was to be given to her as her husband. Secondly, the ases should have made her laugh. Otherwise, she will kill everyone.

And since Skadi was a very tough girl, no one ever managed to make her laugh.

But the gods managed to add one strange condition. They allowed Skadi to marry any of them, but she had to choose a husband, looking only at his legs.

The giantess, apparently, planned to become the wife of the most beautiful of the Aesir, Balder. But his ankles were mediocre, and Skadi was mistaken in choosing Njord, a sea god with strong legs, instead. They were immediately married, but she did not like her husband. In his dwelling next to the sea, seagulls were screaming strongly, Skadi could not sleep and soon left Njord, deciding that she did not really want to.

The second point of the deal was to cheer up Skadi. The gods told jokes for 24 hours, invented funny stories - in general, they tried as best they could. The giantess, however, sense of humor did not have and looked at the grimacing aces as idiots. The gods despaired and called Loki for help. He sighed, but answered the call.

Loki tied the goat's beard to his scrotum and began playing tug-of-war with him. It is not joke.

Seeing this outrage, Skadi burst out laughing. And then, to celebrate, she married the supreme ace Odin and bore him many sons. The gods sighed calmly. In general, everyone was happy. Except for Loki.

Morality: when you choose your life companion (or companion), look not only at your feet. And be careful with goat beards.

3. How Frigga cheated on her husband, Odin

Skadi is not the only and certainly not the most famous wife of Odin. Another, more mentioned companion, was Frigg, the goddess who patronized marriage, home, peace and order.

In general, for the most part, she was a completely faithful wife, but sometimes various incidents happened.S. Sturluson, L. M. Hollander. Heimskringla. For example, once Odin went on business to a distant land. His journey dragged on, and the gods decided that he apparently disappeared with the ends.

Upon learning that her husband was dead, Frigg grieved a little, and then went to Odin's two brothers, Ville and Ve, and changed him... with both of them. In addition, she gave Ville and Ve all the property of Odin, acquired by overwork and robbery.

A little later, Odin returned and, as the legend says, “again took possession of his wife.” He did not express any claims to his wife, and neither did his brothers. That's the whole story.

However, there is one inconsistency here.

Frigga, according to the northerners, is the greatest seer in the world, who thoroughly knows the future until the end of the world, and possibly beyond.

So she could not help but foresee that her husband was alive and would soon return to her.

Morality: If you are a Scandinavian sailor and go sailing for several months, do not ask your wife unnecessary questions.

4. How Torah got married

Thor, son of Odin, was the most powerful of all gods 1. S. Sturluson, L. M. Hollander. Heimskringla.
2. R. Simek. Dictionary of Northern Mythology. . His hammer Mjolnir possessed fantastic properties and always returned to the owner after being thrown. Therefore, Thor loved his weapon very much.

One day he went to visit his fiancée, Jarnsachs. On the way, he decided to take a nap under a tree, and Mjolnir laid it side by side. After several hours of sound sleep, accompanied by heroic snoring, Thor woke up, but the hammer was not in place.

Spoiler: It was stolen by a giant jotun named Trum. I walked by, I saw - the thing was good, and I took it.

Either the Scandinavians did not know that only a worthy person could lift the weapon of Thor, or the Hold was worthy of it, but somehow he stole it.

Thor was very upset and decided to ask Loki for help. The latter, by the way, is not his brother, as in Marvel, but just not the most pleasant acquaintance. Loki borrowed her dress with falcon feathers from Freya and flew to inspect the world for stolen goods. Soon he found in the country of the Jotuns of the Hold with a hammer.

Loki asked to return Mjolnir, and the kidnapper willingly agreed on one condition: the goddess of beauty Freya would be married to him (apparently, she is the most valuable thing in Asgard).

The Ases gathered a council and began to decide what to do. Freya categorically did not want to get married. The solution was found, oddly enough, not by Loki, but by As Heimdall, the guardian of Asgard. He offered to put on the dress and necklace of Freya on Thor and give her off so that God could get to the giant - and then they would figure it out themselves.

"The feminine husband" was a rather serious insult among the Scandinavians. And the Thunderer, of course, did not want such a nickname to stick to him.

In general, Thor was strongly opposed, but Loki strongly supported the idea.

He put on Thor a beautiful dress donated by Freya, as well as her necklace, and helped make the make-up. He disguised himself as a servant and took Thor to the wedding.

All the gods and jotuns have gathered in Hold's house. The tables were bursting with food. Thor, succumbing to the habit of seizing stress, ate a whole bull, eight salmon and three barrels of honey. The hold noticed that the bride was eating too much, but the maid-Loki reassured him. Like, Freya was so hungry for love that she did not take poppy dewdrops in her mouth for eight days.

The hold was impressed by such an appetite and crawled under the veil to kiss the bride, but he saw Thor's eyes flaming with fury. He asked Loki what it meant, and he replied: just mistress so fell in love in a jotuna who has not slept eight nights in a row, and her eyes turned red. From tears of love, yeah

The hold was finally convinced of the loyalty of his future wife. He ordered the hammer of Mjolnir to be put on his lap to bless the union. As soon as the weapon was in front of Thor, he grabbed it and killed Hold. The guests who looked at least a bit like a jotun also got it. Then he tore off his bloody dress and necklace, gave it to the dumbfounded Freya and silently left.

Morality: taking someone else's is not good.

5. How Loki said too much and paid for it

Once the jotun Egir decided to end the war with the Aesir. He brewed beer and invited the gods to a grand party. Naturally, they immediately forgot past differences and began to drink and have fun.

Aegir had two servants - Eldir and Fimafeng. And so well they served the Aesir, serving refreshments, that they were all greatly praised. Except for Loki.

Loki was terribly disliked when someone admired not him, and therefore freaked out and killed Fimafeng.

The Ases were indignant, shouted at Loki and drove him into the forest, while they themselves continued to have fun.

Loki sat in the forest, sobered up and got even more angry. He is back 1. Loki's Flyting / The Norse Gods.
2. Samund the Wise. Loki's squabble. Translation by A. Korsuna. and reminded Odin how they had once fraternized. Then they swore on blood that Odin would not drink if they did not treat Loki.

One, reluctantly, allowed the god of deceit to sit down at the table again. Loki drank for courage and began to vilify everyone present.

He called the Ases cowards, helpless in battle, cuckolds and "feminine men", and the Asinias - whores who cheated on their spouses (most often with Loki himself). The insults lasted a very long time and ended with a wish to the giant Aegir, the hospitable host of the party, to be burned along with all his belongings in a fire.

Loki then left and hid in the Franangr Fjord, turning into a salmon. Deeply wounded by the muck heard, the gods caught him with a net and tied him to a rock. And his son Narvi was turned into a poisonous snake and hung over Loki, so that poison dripped on his head.

Loki's faithful wife, Sigyn, trying to alleviate her husband's suffering, stood over him and placed a cup under the poison. So she, as the Scandinavians believed, will stand over the doomed Loki until the end of the world. But from time to time Sigyn has to withdraw to empty the bowl, and then the poison drips onto Loki. He convulses, and earthquakes allegedly occur from this.

When Ragnarok comes, the day of the death of the gods, Loki will break free and take revenge.

Morality: drunkenness and foul language are fraught with unpleasant consequences.

If you know other interesting myths authored by the northerners, share them in the comments.