6 things that are not worth the time and effort

1. Social media controversies

It is impossible to endure if someone is wrong on the Internet. I immediately want to insert my own five cents. Word for word - and now you have sunk into the screen for a couple of hours, proving that cats are better than dogs, drinking coffee is useful, and you can't live without meat.

But this activity can hardly be called constructive or even enjoyable. Psychologists spentIs arguing online actually good for your mental health? / New Statesman a little research and found out that most people, after heated debates on the Web, experience stress, frustration and anger. And 35% of them admit that such discussions affect their mental health: they cause anxiety and symptoms of depression.

In addition, when we only read the comments, but do not hear the interlocutor, we are more inclined toJuliana Schroeder, Michael Kardas, Nicholas Epley. The Humanizing Voice: Speech Reveals, and Text Conceals, a More Thoughtful Mind in the Midst of Disagreement / Psychological Science to dehumanize him, that is, not to count as a person. And, therefore, we can communicate rudely and write nasty things, which we will probably regret later.

And in some cases, online debates can How social media turns online arguments between teens into real-world violence / The Conversation even lead to real violence. For example, in St. Petersburg a couple of years ago, people arrangedIn St. Petersburg, a case was opened after a fight due to a quarrel in the parent chat / RBC a massive brawl with shooting after a quarrel in the parent chat.

If you really want to get involved in an argument, do it right.

2. Race for status things

In 2017, MTS communication stores soldMore than half of expensive smartphones in Russia are bought on credit / Vedomosti 60% of phones on credit are more expensive than 40,000 rubles.

Given the price, these are most likely not basic necessities, but things that are needed for entertainment or status and for which people will pay for a long time. But both the money and the energy invested in their earnings could be spent on something more important.

Telephones are just one example. If an expensive item is not on the list of things that you cannot do without, it is better to postpone the purchase until it matches the level of income.

3. Unnecessary education

Only 28% of Russians chosePrestige and income: what professions do Russians choose? / VTsIOM profession, focusing on their interests and desires. 23% admitted that they relied on circumstances, and another 10% followed family traditions.

Perhaps that is why more than 70% of those surveyed do not work in their specialty.Rostrud learned how many Russians work in their specialty / RIA Novosti.

Education is not a waste of time. But if it turns out to be completely inappropriate, later you will have to set aside months, if not years, to get the desired, relevant and enjoyable profession.

If you show more awareness and courage in this matter and immediately abandon an uninteresting direction, you will be able to save this time.

4. Unloved job

By his work, as notedLive in Russia: 1999–2019 / VTsIOM VTsIOM, 59% of Russians are satisfied. It is not very clear how the remaining 41% are doing and how much they dislike what they do and the company they work for.

But it is important to remember that such dissatisfaction leads E.B. Faragher, M. Cass, C.L. Cooper. The relationship between job satisfaction and health: a meta ‑ analysis / Occupational & Enviromental Health to burnout and depression. It also doesJoseph G. Rosse Stacy L. Saturay. Individual Differences in Adaptation to Work Dissatisfaction / University of Colorado at Boulder we are less patient, makes us commit impulsive actions at work, stay away from colleagues and conflict.

If you can't find a new place, you can try job-crafting. This is an approach that helps to reconsider the attitude to work and "rebuild" it for yourself.

5. Relationships in which you feel bad

People who are satisfied with their marriage are less likely to sufferJulianne Holt-Lunstad, Wendy Birmingham, Brandon Q Jones / Is there something unique about marriage? The relative impact of marital status, relationship quality, and network social support on ambulatory blood pressure and mental health / Annals of Behavioral Medicine from high blood pressure and depression than those who have something wrong in their personal lives.

And vice versa. Troubled relationships increaseRoberto De Vogli, PhD, MPH; Tarani Chandola, DPhil; Michael Gideon Marmot, PhD, FRCP. Negative Aspects of Close Relationships and Heart Disease / Archives of internal medicine the risk of developing cardiovascular diseases, and abusiveRelationship depression: How to cope / Medical News Today - mental disorders.

It is hardly worth putting up with this.

6. Meeting other people's expectations

People tend to idealize each other and expect certain actions from those around them.

Parents predict a career in programming for their son, and he dreams of being a rock musician. The husband insists that the wife wear spectacular tight dresses, and she is comfortable in hoodies and jeans. Society wants to see a man as a careerist, and a woman as a keeper of the hearth. Etc.

If we try to satisfy all the wishes of family, friends and even strangers, we will live their lives, and there simply will be no time and energy left for ours.