Praise Bank, Family Totem, and Yes Day: 13 Rituals to Strengthen Emotional Contact with Your Child

Emotional rituals

Nothing strengthens an emotional connection like expressing emotions to each other. But sometimes we miss these important points due to lack of time. These rituals will help make emotions and feelings visible.

1. Jar of praise

We all need our successes to be noticed and periodically highlighted. Choose a jar with your child (you can decorate it to your liking) and agree on a new family tradition. All family members write notes with kind words to each other within a month, express gratitude, encouragement, positive assessment of each other's actions and achievements. For example:

• "Thanks for the help with the cleaning, together we got through much faster."
• "You beat math like a superhero this week."
• "Thanks for taking care of your little brother this weekend."
• "I really appreciate it when you are polite to your grandmother."
• "You began to take care of the cleanliness in your room, this is very important to me."

Open this jar together periodically and read the messages aloud.

2. Wish box

Sometimes we have strong emotions that are difficult to adequately express aloud. Create a box at home in which each family member can write their wishes and feelings about the relationship between you, add ideas for joint activities, trips, and so on. This is especially true for large families. Examples of notes:

• "I would like you to help me more with ..."
• “It would be great if you and your brother took over a responsibility per…"
• "I would like to go with you to ..."
• "It hurts me when you... Let's talk about it."

Read the notes from time to time and discuss them all together. This will show that everyone's opinions and feelings are important and that you try to take them into account.

Parting rituals

Sometimes it is difficult for a child to let go of his mother when he needs to stay in kindergarten, or his father when he flies on a business trip. To make the breakup less stressful, use special rituals.

3. Toy mascot

Buy or make a special little toy that your child can carry with them when you are away. It can also be just a bead on a string, a piece of fabric, and so on.

4. Invisible thread

Take one end of the colored tape and give the other end to the child. Tell that there is an invisible connection between you, and even if you are far away, this ribbon unites you at a distance and will always lead to each other. Ask your child to unwind the tape, go out the door and gently pull on it to show that the connection is not lost, even if the son or daughter cannot see you. The child can carry the ribbon with him as a reminder.

5. Kiss on the palm

This is the code name for your special goodbye. They can be real kiss, which you imprint on the palm of the baby, whispering affectionate words in your ear when parting. Or even a special password that you agreed on in advance.

Greeting rituals

Use creative ways of greeting to emotionally reinforce the moment of meeting after breaking up.

6. Secret sign

Come up with a special sign with which you will greet each other: it can be a hand movement, a wink, a jump, or even a sound. Or maybe a secret word that you whisper to each other.

7. Special dance

In film "The parent trap”There is a great example of the dance the heroes use to greet each other. Take on arms or come up with your own, especially if you have to part for a long time.

Family bonding rituals

8. A special time

Sometimes during the week it is almost impossible to find time to communicate with your child in a quality manner. But you need to do this - agree on a special time in your schedule. An hour and a half or 20 minutes, but this time is only yours, no gadgets or TV. Painting, modeling, construction set, board games - choose any activity in which you are completely devoted to each other.

9. Family totem

Invite your family to come up with a symbol of your family, the guardian of traditions and values. Create a totem with your own hands, and in the process, discuss with family members the rules by which you live, and write them down. In controversial situations, return to the totem to remind them.

A totem can be made from paper or cardboard boxes, fabric, plasticine or clay - from any material that is at hand. For inspiration, you can search the Internet for images of Indian or Egyptian totems. Usually in ancient times they used images of animals, but you can show your imagination and come up with something of your own: an alien, a funny monster or a superhero. I am sure that the children will be happy to offer you options.

And your family rules may be:

• We communicate with each other respectfully without raising our voices.
• We help each other in difficult situations.
• We solve important issues at the family council.
• We share household duties.
• We listen to each other carefully.

10. Home hut

In childhood, we all built huts from blankets, chairs and cushions. Such a house was a special place where you can retire and feel safe. Building a hut can be a family ritual. Arrange a cozy refuge where you can read with your child, play quiet games, share secrets, and arrange a shadow theater.

11. Board games

This activity is perfect not only to have fun, but also helps to develop the skill of self-regulation, the ability to reckon with the rules and lose, respect interests another. Also, board games pump memory, attention and reaction speed, speech, logic and creative skills.

Purchase board gamesage-appropriate for your children and make these evenings a tradition. You can choose from the following list:

• Doble or Loonacy are reaction speed games that help develop attention. You can try from 3-4 years old.
• Alias ​​or "Equivoki" are board games like "Crocodile", but with more interesting rules and ready-made tasks, where you need to show pantomime, explain, sculpt or draw words by commands. They improve thinking, speech and reaction speed.
• "Barabashka", "Baramelka", "Barbaron" - three versions of the same game with friendly ghosts, which children from 4-5 years old adore. It is useful for the development of attention, thinking and speed of reaction.
• "Imaginarium" or Dixit - for those who like quieter games. In them, you need to come up with associations or whole stories using unusual pictures. Abstract illustrations help develop imagination, coherent speech and creativity. Suitable for children from 6 years old.
• For older people, Monopoly, Colonizer and Carcassonne are suitable - economic strategy games that teenagers often like.

12. Cooking dinner together

Great family ritual and good household skills training. Announce the evening as you cook dinner together, create a menu and share responsibilities among all family members. Even toddlers can be kitchen helpers - and quite passionate. The food prepared in this way will surely seem to all participants much tastier than usual.

13. Day "yes"

Sometimes parents overdo it with refusals even in small things, which builds up tension in the family. To break the ice, invite your child to make a yes day. You can plan a trip together or an evening of games of the child's choice and agree that on that day some of the prohibitions or rules may be lifted. It could be a day without a made bed, an ice cream day, a day when you don't have to do your homework and can get some sleep. The point is to briefly lift the prohibition, which usually provokes protests, and give the child a sense of freedom - of course, within the limits of what is acceptable. Celebrate this day on your calendar and have a good time together.