How to tell loved ones about homosexual orientation? - Life hacker

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Coming out is revealing your sexual identity to people. A step towards being able to build more open relationships with family and loved ones, as well as freely discuss and build your personal life.

This is what an ideal coming-out situation might look like: you tell about yourself to one or more relatives, they calmly listen to you and try to understand, clarify if you need any help, and provide support when necessity. However, this is not always the case, and the initial reaction of family members to coming out is often negative.

In general, there are no universal instructions on how to tell about your orientation. There is only a minimal list of tips to follow.

1. Before coming out, make a good judgment about whether you have enough resources to do this.

Are you ready to deal with the possible consequences right now? Do you have a means of subsistence and people who can accept you for a while, support and protect you if necessary.

2. Plan the conversation. Perhaps it is worth preparing some information materials for loved ones. You can find the necessary information in articles and special brochures. They are, for example, on the project website “Porthole"Or in our LGBT group"Output».

3. Choose for the first conversation the most loyal person in your environment. This could be a boyfriend, girlfriend, brother, sister - someone you are more likely to receive acceptance from. Tell him what is happening to you now, how you feel. For example, that you are worried, it is difficult for you to start talking about it, or you are depressed. Be sincere.

4. Be prepared for the fact that relatives and friends, having listened to you, will be overwhelmed. And even if the relationship in the family is the most favorable. After all, a person who comes out usually carries this thought for some time, prepares mentally. But his interlocutors will take time to cope with feelings and start supporting their children. The fact is that for your family and friends one "era" ends and a completely different one begins. And they will have to go through all the stages of accepting the situation: denial (or maybe you're wrong?), Bargaining, anger, sadness and humility.

You can also visit support groups where people share their personal experiences, and psychologists help them find a way out of this situation. And most importantly, remember: you don't have to come out if you are not ready or feel in danger. For example, if you hear threats and homophobic statements about other people from loved ones.