Are you sure you want to give up negative emotions?

The farther away, the more each of us become emotionally thick-skinned. Under the weight of time and trials, our eyes and hearts of the spread out of the road, and the ability to feel as though dulled. No, somewhere in the depths of the subconscious more raging fire, but we do not hurry, as once, head to indulge in the joys and sorrow.

Too often we dropped the "roller coaster" and now we have realized that slow and steady wins - on going. That joy is now is not the same as a child - she rages, and prihvatyvaet excitement throat. The quiet, almost indifferent, almost without emotion. But thanks to this approach and better tolerated failures. Gold unemotional middle! Believe that emotional calm - is the state, which helps develop and live?

When I began to love myself I found that anguish and suffering - are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.

Charlie Chaplin

It all starts in childhood

From childhood, we are taught: "do not cry", "do not worry about nothing." Pitched ball chandelier in the living room? For you, it's the end of the world. But parents are surprisingly calm and even cold-blooded. They know that this is everything - little things in life, which, in the worst case, a hit on the wallet.

The first love, broken heartFirst life shakes and failures. Over time, you get tired of all this, and, like the heroes of Orwell which to control your thoughts using the mechanism samostopa, you begin to cut any negative - if it large or small.

At first it seems a good idea. If you cut off the negative, it should remain only positive things that fill life with happiness. Just think about it! Now a man nothing could be angry or shake. Minor troubles all gone out of my head, and it's great. This Zen-Buddhist state seems to be the optimal strategy to save composure. It-found harmony - is the very harmony to which people aspired for so long. And now she is at his feet. But he uses it? Will he be happy?

Traps optimal existence

Optimal - does not mean better. The ship, which is by all means wants to avoid storms and storms, never leave the safe haven, it will always be on the dock. Human nature is such that either he pursues happiness, or trying to avoid misery. Intermediate the same state - neither fish nor fowl. You're not in sorrow, but you do not know the joy.

In the XXI century it is no longer such an urgent need to mobilize and to survive, so it may seem that the emotion is not so necessary.

Where will push here, which will make moving forward? After all, when the pendulum in balance, it stops. And there can not do without external interference, otherwise he will stand. A person who seeks to emotional balance, trying to stop the pendulum, which is the main engine of its achievements.

The imbalance is pushing people to accomplishments

If you take the most daring discoveries and achievements of man, we find that most of it was the result of a huge hardship or excessive thrust to wealth. Not a good life Magellan, which in what does not put the King of Portugal, left for Spain, where he began to serve King Charles and bear his incredible plan circumnavigation travels. Not a good life Amundsen, who always lacked money, he decided to deceive the whole world and the North Pole instead sail to Antarctica to conquer the South Pole. All these people moved, if not material poverty, then, at least, the inner desire that could not possibly be born of emotional calm.

What is actually needed emotions

But even if a person does not aspire to some great achievements, emotional thick skin is still fraught with complications in life. The fact that emotions do not arise just like that. As an essential tool for survival in extreme situations, for thousands of years, emotions have been a faithful companion man, helping him to quickly identify the threat, to mobilize all available resources and take appropriate situation actions.

Ignoring the negative emotions, a person creates its own little universe - a bubble in which you can live a very long time, deceiving yourself that you like your job, body, partner, life.

But one of the main functions of emotions - this feedback.

It is thanks to the emotions a person is able to determine its place in the system of coordinates of happiness / sadness. If we did not know what brings us the emotion of joy, we would not know what we want from life. A complete filtration of negative emotions would interfere to understand that life is not so and that should be corrected in order to be happy again.

Only cutting off all the bad things, do not be truly happy

The funny thing is that all these courses are successful "uspentsev" and optimists are not always taught man to seek the cause of his sadness and depression. On the contrary, they are taught to focus only on the good, and the cutting off all the bad things.

In all this ruthless world negativity it seems sensible advice. However, ignoring the negative emotions, we neglect and feedback from the real world. So a person creates its own little universe, which does not leak sadness. But there is only one peace and positive. This bubble can be very long to live, deceiving yourself that you like your job, body, partner, life.

The effect of "greenhouse" of happiness

Instead, to solve those problems that cause unhappiness, we are now beginning to look at them through his fingers. But parallel to focus our attention on the good. It turns out this "greenhouse" happiness, which is proving to be an invention. And instead of having to use the powerful tool of feedback, which tells us that in life it is not so, we come up with a million ways to silence the alarm. Take a vacation, start to get out more to people more likely to communicate with friends, buying unnecessary things... But it's how to treat a gunshot wound zelyonkoj. Years later, people finally break down and ask yourself, "What's wrong? Why do I sharpen these doubts? Did not I cut off all the negative? "

But how did the person know that rare ointment is without a spoon of tar.

It turns out that for a fuller life, as well as for a more complete understanding of their position in it, a person must learn to listen to their emotions and do not rush to put out everything indiscriminately.

Who knows, maybe you do not want to get up early, not because more dark and cold, but because they have chosen the wrong path, not the work, not the life.

And here it is, a desperate cheat, just trying to reach you by hook or by crook.

How to learn to decipher your emotions

1. Eliminate the biological factor. Often, it is not longing catches us the deplorable situation in life, but bad nutrition, lack of sun, walks in the fresh air.
2. In the morning, Use the technique of morning pages. After writing a few pages all that you come to mind, you will understand more clearly what is happening to you and what you really want. Paper and pens - the best friends of the brain. But if you have lost the habit of scribbling manual, that is a great serviceWhich will not only keep your thoughts, but will also stimulate write regularly.
3. Catch the first emotion. What would you no matter what happens, try to catch the first impression that you experience in a given situation. Analyze the emotion and determine what caused it. The results of this analysis can even write in your a diaryTo the end of the day or week to make a clear picture of what you like or do not like in your life. Already on the basis of this plan will be much easier to act.

Of course, one should not completely abandon the idea of ​​filtering some emotion. If you entered into a puddle and soaked leg, meaning particularly upset and emotsionirovat about this no. But if in the morning you find it hard to get up, but the work does not bring the former pleasure, then you just right not to treat symptoms and look for the causes of your illness at a deeper level - where are born your aspirations and desires.