Depression has no face: why do people smile, even when it is very difficult for them

What is the face of depression

In 2017, Talinda Bennington, the widow of Linkin Park leader Chester Bennington, posted a video on Twitter that was made 36 hours before her husband committed suicide. In the video, the musician plays with his son and laughs.

This is what depression looked like to us just 36 hrs b4 his death. He loved us SO much & we loved him. #fuckdepression#MakeChesterProudpic.twitter.com/VW44eOER4k

- Talinda Bennington-Friedman (@TalindaB) September 16, 2017

With this post, Talinda wanted to destroy the myth that a depressed person must constantly shed tears or silently lie with his nose to the wall and refuse to eat.

In response to the publication on social networks, a spontaneous flash mob began: people posted their smiling faces and said that during the period when the pictures were taken, they suffered from depression.

View this post on Instagram

Here is such a #face depression I had. Photo from two depressive episodes, the impetus to which was given by radically different events. The first such episode happened when I was 12 years old, and then I tried to do something that cannot be called. For a long time I was convinced that depression is part of my personality. We spent so many days with her, but recently we finally broke up. Bye bye, Dobby is now free. Don't call, don't write... Thanks, bye 👋👋👋 #faceofdepression

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A post shared by Natalia Zhukova (@natashycza) on Feb 12, 2018 at 2:05 am PST

Some talked about their loved ones who committed suicide, and the people in the photographs also did not fit into the classic image of a patient with depression.

View this post on Instagram

"I'm not ok. Just good at pretending I am ". One week ago today I took this photo of a girl I have had the privilege of knowing for the past year. I sleep in the room she used to inhabit. She taught me to make curry. She made me laugh - many times. Tonight - for her - I cry.. Trauma and abuse have the power to destroy lives. We see it every day as we sit in the rooms of recovery. We look around the room and see people engaged in the battle to heal, the battle to overcome, the battle to live, the battle to be able to hope again.. For this dear one... The battle is now over. She lost. Her trauma destroyed her. Her life has gone. Her rock bottom was death. The mask has fallen and is lying shattered on the ground.. Suicide looks like this.. My hope in sharing this tonight is simple - I want to show that the face of depression is not always what we expect to see. I want to encourage those who are feeling as though they are wearing a mask to take it off... Let others in. And I want to beg of you, please - no matter how dark things get - Know that there is hope. There is another day for you. The pain you feel will pass.. And to my friend - I am sorry it was too much to bear. My heart is broken for you 💔... #suicideawarness #faceofdepression #thistooshallpass #timetogrieve #goodbye #itsnottoolatetoaskforhelp #recoveryispossible #loveaddictionawareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #lookafteryourmentalhealth #accepthelp #youarenotalone

A post shared by A Kiwi in Recovery (@a_kiwi_in_recovery) on Jun 26, 2020 at 4:14 am PDT

We can say that flash mob continues to this day, the records are posted under the hashtags #FaceOfDepression, #face depression, #depression

Depression has many manifestations

And this is far from only sadness, tears and suicidal thoughts. Based on formal criteriaMood [affective] disorders diagnostics listed in ICD-10 to diagnose a depressive episode or recurrent depression (it is large, or clinical), the doctor must identify at least two main symptoms in a person and at least three additional.

The main symptoms of depression look like this:

• a person has been in a depressed mood for more than two weeks, and it does not always depend on external circumstances;
• experiences anhedonia - almost nothing brings him pleasure, his favorite activities cease to please and no longer arouse interest;
• gets tired quickly, constantly feels tired, worries prostration.

But what are the additional symptoms:

• a person sees the world in gloomy tones, looks at his life and prospects with pessimism;
• feels guilt, anxiety and / or fear, feels useless;
• his self-esteem decreases;
• it becomes difficult to concentrate and make decisions;
• thoughts of death and (or) suicide appear;
• appetite changes, a person refuses to eat or (less often) overeats and, as a result, loses or gains weight;
• sleep disturbances (insomnia, oversleeping).

That is, a patient with depression is not always an emaciated, pale and crying person who does not communicate with anyone.

He can be anything, for example, well-fed or hyperactive. He can laugh work hard, sleep well, travel, start new projects, play with children. Especially if at the moment is in the "light interval" between two depressive episodes. Or if he is good at hiding his feelings.

In addition, in addition to recurrent depression and isolated depressive episodes, there is also dysthymia.The many faces of depression, or persistent depressive disorder. This condition lasts longer - from two years - but the symptoms are milder. And don't forget about cyclothymia and bipolar disorderin which depression or depressed mood alternates with periods of elevation or even mania.

Depression also manifests itself differently in women and men. For example, the former are more likely to experience anxiety, while the latter are more depressed.

Why is it important

People do not understand that there is no accurate portrait of depression, and they underestimate the severity of their condition. Or they discount other people's difficulties.

A person whose depression manifests itself more or less mildly or does without "classic" symptoms such as severe depression, apathy, weight loss, he can say to himself: “This is all nonsense, I'm just a little depressed, I’ll go to unwind and change the environment, they write on the Internet help ". Those who are sad "not enough" are advised not to cheat themselves, calm down, eat a chocolate bar or get down to business. After all, depression is treated in psychiatric hospitals, and you have so, a trifling little mechlundia.

As a result, people do not go to the doctor and do not get help on time. And it can end very badly: depression enters6 Suicide Questions You Weren’t Sure How to Ask. among the conditions that increase the risk of suicidal thoughts.

How to help someone with depression

Several ideasHow to Help a Depressed Friend from doctors and psychologists.

1. Listen

Let him talk, don't interrupt. Be attentive and ask questions. Do not underestimate or discount his feelings. Recognize that it is hard for him and he has the right to feel what he is feeling.

2. Offer to seek professional help

Explain that there is nothing wrong or embarrassing about this. Help find a good specialist if it is difficult for a person to do it himself.

3. Expand your knowledge

Read articles about depression from reliable sources, study the experiences of people who are struggling with this condition. This will help to learn more about the problem and abandon dangerous stereotypes.

4. Help with everyday tasks

Work, everyday life and other matters are very difficult for a depressed person. And he will be grateful if you go to the store for him, give him a ride to the right place, help with cleaning.

5. Be near

Let the person know that they can contact you at any time to talk or ask for help.