What is internal misogyny and why women hate women
A Life / / January 06, 2021
Misogyny is hateDictionaries: misogyny to women. It lies at the root of sexism, inequality and discrimination. By default, men can be considered misogynists because of violence, stereotypical jokes and simply condescending treatment of a woman as a second-class person.
But in reality, misogyny is a non-gender phenomenon. And on the Web, a lot of toxic remarks towards women are left by women themselves. "We, the women, after all fools!", "To give birth to children, put on weight and sitting at home, broody," "Only look, dressed up as the panel!" - you have probably heard and read something like this more than once. Sociologists and psychologists believeAPPLICATION OF THE STRATEGY OF MIXING METHODS TO STUDY ADVANCED MISOGY AMONG WOMEN OF THE MILLENNIUM GENERATIONthat such behavior may be a manifestation of internal (learned) misogyny.
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What is internal misogyny and how does it manifest
Internal misogyny - the situationInternalized misogynywhen women belittle their importance, they want to distance themselves from other representatives of the same gender. And they broadcast these installations in every possible way. Study
APPLICATION OF THE STRATEGY OF MIXING METHODS TO STUDY ADVANCED MISOGY AMONG WOMEN OF THE MILLENNIUM GENERATIONconducted by the Higher School of Economics, shows that pronounced misogyny attitudes were demonstrated by 26% of the respondents. Internalized misogyny can manifest itself in many ways. Here are the main ones.Misogynistic vocabulary
For example, the well-known insults on "b", "s" and "w". And also all sorts of mocking words like "yazhemat", "tp", "baba", "klusha" and many, many others. They are actively used not only by men, but also by women.
At the same time, the researchers, having analyzed the swear words in different languages, cameCan Gender ‑ Fair Language Reduce Gender Stereotyping and Discrimination? to the conclusion that they are divided into two groups: neutral and female.
There are not many specific male insults: most of the verbal aggression is directed specifically at women. Although attention to language and rejection of sexist vocabulary, according toLanguage, consciousness and reality scientists could reduce discrimination.
Approving violence against women
Under any news of the murder or rape of a woman, a portal to hell literally opens. In addition to those who sympathize with the victim and wish a terrible punishment for the offender, there is a whole crowd of people who, in different ways, blame the woman herself for what happened.
Among these scavengers are women. The main motives of their speeches are approximately the following: “It is my own fault! There is no need to go to visit unfamiliar people / drink / wear short skirts / leave the house at nightfall "," First, they spread their legs due to drunkenness, and then the boys break their lives. " Even if the victim is a little girl, her mother will be to blame for everything: where she looked, why gave birthwhy not brought up.
Unfortunately, the idea of permissibility of sexual and other violence against women is also broadcast by media personalities. For example, actress Lyubov Tolkalina, who in 2017 stated“If you have a role, what difference does it make how you got it?” Russian actresses and directors talk about harassment in the film industry, what "harassment - it's fine". Or women who are State Duma deputies who namedThe women's club in the State Duma called the media campaign about Slutsky's harassment a provocation complaints from journalists about the harassment of her colleague Slutsky as a provocation.
All of this normalizes violence, makes it more acceptable in the eyes of society and shifts the focus from the perpetrator to the victim. As a result, victims can find no help, no protection, no sympathy - and are often harassed altogether.
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Sexist jokes
Stupid blondes, women behind the wheel and victims of rape are joked about not only by men, but, alas, by women as well. For example, the participants in Comedy Woman - when they show how blondes can not find a car in the parking lot. Or having fun in the sketch about sexual harassment at work.
At the same time, studies showSexist men have a higher proclivity to rape after reading sexist jokes told by a woman.that such humor is far from harmless.
Those participants who were given many sexist jokes to listen to showed a greater tolerance for physical abuse of women than those who were played with neutral jokes.
Supporting stereotypes about women
Many women themselves willingly shout that “we all, women, bitches”, that women are more stupid than men, their brains are smaller and in general they are created to decorate the team. Although long ago found outthat it is not at all true. And if anything prevents women from showing intelligence and engaging in, for example, the exact sciences, it is social attitudes.
Or they say that “all women are hysterics”, they cannot be trusted with responsible work and leadership positions. Although in fact, professionally, women leadMixed feelings: how to deal with emotions at work themselves more restrained than their male counterparts, and less prone to emotional actions and decisions.
Of course, it can not do without statements that the woman driving is a monkey with a grenade (another stereotype that has been refuted more than onceThe Gender Gap In 100 Drivers) or that women do not know how to be friends (also a blatant lieTrust in Friendship: A Comparative Analysis of Male and Female University Students).
Unfortunately, the support and broadcast of these and many others stereotypes significantly complicates the life of all women in general: it prevents them from building a career, studying, respecting their boundaries and generally feeling like full-fledged people.
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Doubt about the professionalism of other women
68% of Russians sayVTsIOM: two-thirds of Russians are not ready to see a woman as president VTsIOM, do not agree to see a woman in the presidency, also because this is a man's job. Analysts note that both men and women were unanimous in their responses.
Most recently, Aviasales conducted a survey and found that 19% of Russians want a man to be a pilot. The gender of the respondents was not specified, but if you find similar polls on social networks and filter out results, it becomes clear that 27% of participants are against women at the controls of the plane.
The same applies to other professions, especially those that require the qualities traditionally attributed to men: composure, high intelligence, courage and strength.
For example, in this material“Patients call us 'bunny', 'swallow', 'sweetheart': is it easy to be a woman doctor Svetlana Durba 3 April 2019 18:11 a girl who works as a pediatric surgeon says that women, along with men, convince her that in this profession there is nothing for the representatives of their sex to do. And actress Anne Hathaway confessedAnne Hathaway: I regret not trusting female directorsthat for a long time did not trust women directors.
Opposing yourself to other women
“I'm not like these fools, I'm not only interested in clothes and beauty salons”, “I, unlike feminists, a real woman: I can cook, I follow I obey myself, I obey my husband "," I am not like a mother-cuckoo: I didn’t gallop off to work in a month, but watched the child, breast-fed, devoted myself home ".
Variants of statements may be different, but the essence is the same: a woman is trying to separate herself from the representatives of her gender and show that she is much better. And often get praise from men. Social networks reveal this problem especially vividly: in the comments of any public where people ask for advice, you can see a couple of "correct" women who are trying to assert themselves at the expense of others.
In women's communities, the situation is often no better. For example, moms start full-scale battles, proving whose parenting methods are more correct. Similac even released a commercial on this topic a few years ago. In it, mothers almost fight over how to properly feed, carry and raise their children.
Although recently the situation has become noticeably better. Women began to show more solidarity to each other, so-called "safe" spaces appear - groups where moderators strictly monitor the participants so that no one offends the participants and the atmosphere is as supportive as possible.
Refusal of friendship with women
Because they are supposedly all snakes, traitors, gossips and are just waiting to take someone else's man away.
Or because they are stupid, only interested in clothes, cosmetics and children. It is not at all like men who conduct exclusively intellectual conversations and neverUC Riverside study busts myths about gossip do not gossip.
Why women hate each other
Perhaps it would be more correct to ask why they hate themselves and transfer this feeling to other women. After all, this is the essence of internalized misogyny: we do not accept ourselves and we do not accept others either. Why is this happening?
We absorb the misogynistic attitudes that society broadcasts
And this is perhaps the main reasonInternalized Misogyny as a Moderator of the Link between Sexist Events and Women’s Psychological Distress internalized misogyny. Fairy tales, religious texts, romantic films and books, glossy articles, TV shows and performances by some public figures are methodically hammering into our heads that a woman is a second-class person or not at all.
That she is weak, stupid, petty, envious and mercantile, which is only good for standing barefoot at the stove and pregnant, that she herself is to blame for all her troubles, that she should be afraid of her husband, decorate the team and constantly redraw his appearance under public (and most importantly, men's) beauty standards.
We have all heard these “cute” statements more than once: “A chicken is not a bird, but a woman is not a man”, “A woman is driving like a monkey with a grenade,” “Women are not fools, but because women,” and others and others.
It is enough to go to almost any large group on social networks, for example, to the news, and you can get a shock from the scale of hatred towards women and the amount of verbal aggression against them.
Naturally, sooner or later all this horror penetrates into our consciousness and becomes part of our vision of ourselves and the world. So you have to either admit that you are just as dumb and weak, or disown other women.
We defend ourselves
Psychological protection is needed in order not to admit that in this world violence can touch everyone: “Probably, this girl it's her own fault, she just behaved badly, dressed vulgarly, that's why she was raped, but I won't, and everything will be with me well". A kind of magical thinking.
However, sometimes it's easier not to show women's solidarity, because it can end badly. At the very least, they'll throw angry comments. Or they will even begin to threaten with beatings and murder - as it happened recentlyJournalist Zalina Marshenkulova asked for state protection due to threats. She stood up for the actresses from Till Lindemann's movie with fem-activist Zalina Marshenkulova, who stood up for the girls who were bullied because of their participation in Till Lindemann's porn video.
So it turns out that supporting each other can even be dangerous. Seeing this, many women prefer to be silent or assent to the aggressors - so that they themselves are not touched.
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How to overcome inner misogyny
In fact, we are talking about uprooting out of ourselves the attitudes and stereotypes that have grown in our minds since childhood. And this is difficult. And it is possible only for those women who already see the problem. Because for those who are unshakably convinced that women are fools, and that beautiful blonde over there clearly got her car for a reason, it is useless to explain anything.
Track misogynistic thoughts and try to suppress them. Try to refuseInternal misogyny from misogynistic vocabulary and not broadcast stereotypes about women: they harm you and all women in general.
It must be remembered that any person is primarily a person, not a set of genitals. And his gender does not affect either professionalism or personal qualities.
If you want to go deeper into introspection, you can trace where each negative belief about women came from in your head, who first instilled it in you and why it does not correspond to reality.
Conduct an educational program
Say, read gender studies: they will show that sexist myths are just myths, and in fact, men and women are not that different from each other. For example, the website of the Higher School of Economics published a small selectionHSE: Gender Studies research carried out by Russian scientists. Other similar works are easily searched through a search engine for relevant queries. For example, here is the textThink Again: Men and Women Share Cognitive Skills about the cognitive abilities of men and women.
Take a look around
And you will see many wonderful, smart, strong and talented women, media and not so, who raise children alone, saveIn Bashkiria, a woman saved five children from a fire and treat people, engage inKatie Bowman's Algorithm: How an MIT Graduate Helped Take the First-Ever Photo of a Black Hole science, write books.
Give women a chance
Do not refuse to see a specialist because this specialist is a woman. Look first of all at experience and professional qualities, not at the floor. Do not attack women in life and social networks, do not take the side of the aggressors and try to sympathize with the victim (bullying, violence, minor attacks).
Remember that other women are not angry, envious competitors, as society portrays them, but people like you. And know that female friendship (which happens - contrary to all claims) doesFemale friends are more important than you realised. Here's why. make us healthier, more harmonious and even helps build a career.
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