What is the "sandwich generation" and what problems it faces

Who are "sandwiches"

The term was first usedThe ‘sandwich’ generation: adult children of the aging social worker Dorothy Miller in 1981. She talked about women in their 30s and 40s who, as if in a sandwich, were caught between growing children and aging parents. Both need financial and moral support, and sometimes even immediate care.

Almost 30 years have passed since then, and the average age at which women give birth to their first child is growing.Age of birth of children. Statistics, life expectancy is alsoLife expectancy at birth (years). Therefore, now the "sandwich generation" can be attributed to people aged 40–65 years.

A large-scale American study showedThe Sandwich Generation Rising Financial Burdens for Middle-Aged Americansthat 47% of people in this age range have both elderly parents (over 65) and adult children who have not yet become financially independent. 15% of the respondents are forced to help with money to both.

Until 2014, the "sandwiches" were mainly baby boomers, that is, people born between 1940 and 1950, but in the last 5-6 years they themselves need help and

care and they became the top half of the "sandwich" for their children - Generation X.

In Russia, no one has studied the "sandwich generation" in detail. But the average age at which children are separated from their parents is gradually increasing, and, according to the latest dataThe youth began to separate from their parents later, it is equal to 22 years. At the same time, 20% of Russians startHow old do Russians leave their parental nest? live independently only after 25 years, and 16% of respondents aged 18-44 have never lived separate from parents.

Elena Zdravomyslova, a sociologist and professor at the Faculty of Political Science and Sociology at the European University in St.Sociologist Elena Zdravomyslova - on “unproductive” old age and the pain of the “sandwich generation”that the “sandwich generation” (she calls it the pivotal generation) in Russia can be attributed to 80% of people aged 45–65, and mostly women. This gap in comparison with the United States is associated with cultural and economic characteristics: poverty, traditions and the "housing problem" force several generations of families to live under one roof.

Lately, sociologists sayThe club sandwich generation also about the so-called club sandwich generation. That is, about people who help not only for children and parents, but also for grandchildren. This can happen if their children gave birth to their children too early, not really getting on their feet, or are experiencing financial and housing difficulties.

What difficulties do they face

All resources "sandwiches" are given to children and elderly parents. At the same time, no one cancels work, household chores and other chores - so that the core generation has no money, no time, or energy left for itself. Although they also really need investments in their career, family, health and hobbies.

In addition, they have to solve housing and organizational issues. If elderly parents need care, the whole family is under one roof - and this leads to quarrels, scandals, general discontent with each other and emotional burnout.

Sometimes "sandwiches" are forced to give up work or change it to less suitable - in order to be able to devote time to loved ones.

Elena Zdravomyslova, who deals with the problems of the core generation, notesShould children take care of elderly parents and what will old age be like in the future? Sociologist Elena Zdravomyslova reports also, that these people have to communicate with medical institutions and officials - and this is a difficult and very exhausting routine. Research showsSandwich generation moms feeling the squeeze, what women the core generation experience more stress every day than any other social group.

How to take care of yourself when there is no one else

The problems facing the core generation are too complex and multi-layered to be solved quickly and easily. In an ideal world, the state would provide the elderly with affordable and high-quality nursing homes and everyone would have the opportunity to save for their old age.

But we are not in a perfect world, and for people who already have to take care of others, it is very important to take care and about myself too - after all, no one will do it for them. Here are some tipsTips for the sandwich generationprovided by doctors and psychologists who work with severe patients and their families.

1. Be kind to yourself

Remember that taking care of yourself is not a whim, but a necessity. It will allow you to restore resources and not burn out completely. You can help others only when you have helped yourself.

2. Provide yourself with what you need

It is imperative that at least your most basic needs are met. Eat and drink regularly, choose quality products, if possible, do not sacrifice sleep. See your doctor, especially if you are concerned about something. Your health and emotional stability depend on it.

3. Take time for yourself

At least half an hour a day that will belong only to you. Make it clear that you need rest and recovery, and ask your family not to disturb you. Think in advance what you will do at this time. Choose an activity that suits you relaxes and fills, brings you joy.

4. Get out of the house

Change the environment as much as time and finances allow. Get out to the cinema, the theater, on an excursion, or at least for a walk in the park near your home.

5. Monitor your condition

Don't ignore the signs of the strong stress and burnout. Such as increased irritability, insomnia, constant anxiety, bad mood, apathy, anxiety, decadent thoughts, headaches, indigestion, sweating, dryness in mouth.

6. Consider asking for help

Perhaps, in some cases, it is better to entrust the care of an elderly relative to professionals - at home or in a private institution. Polls show"Who should take care of us in old age?": Experts comment on the results of the all-Russian pollthat most Russians are not ready to send loved ones to clinics and nursing homes. Partly because it is expensive, partly because this service sector is still poorly developed and there is no trust in such establishments, partly because of the notion of family debt.

At the same time, the elderly themselves in 67% of cases do not wantFor the day of the elderly assign care responsibilities to family and they believe that the state should take care of the elderly.

7. Delegate

At least some of the worries can and should be shifted to other family members: spouse, brothers and sisters, adult children. People from the core generation are so accustomed to being “donors” - to look after, care, entertain, comfort - that they begin to perceive it as exclusively their duty. This is understandable, but not very fair in relation to oneself: a family and a family, that everyone helps each other and shares difficulties among themselves.