How to find time for work if you are in self-isolation with a child: advice from parents
A Life / / January 06, 2021
Georgy Golyshev
Trainer, gestalt therapist, developer of educational and entertainment programs, head of the "Creative Association"# Checkers».
We spoke with four mums and one dad about how they live during quarantine. Someone in the apartment, someone in the country, someone with their grandmothers. What unites our parents is that they continue to work while at home with their children. And they work in the field of education for children and adults and in the field of organizing events.
1. What are the main changes in your regime since the beginning of self-isolation?
Lera, son 2.5 years old:
We stopped walking. This is perhaps the most important change. Walking to the trash can and to the store is all we have.
Katya, daughters 1.5 years old:
The most serious changes in my parenting regime are associated primarily not with the child, but with other household members with whom we share a common living space. Daddy daughter and grandma (my mom) are forced now work from home.
It is almost impossible to explain to a one and a half year old child that relatives did not stay in the name of an eternal holiday in honor of him. With the advent of adult jobs at home, the space for play and daily rituals has been reduced. There are too many inconsistencies in my daughter's head, and my mother (me) has too few nerve cells.
That is, before breakfast and lunch were in the kitchen, but now it takes place where it is necessary, since my dad works in the kitchen and constantly tries with someone. In the evenings my grandmother showed a cartoon on the computer, but now the computer is always working, and there are some numbers.
Dima, daughters 2.6 years old:
I am a freelancer, so there have been no significant changes. But then I realized how much you can think of with ordinary oatmeal. To diversify the morning, my daughter and I added everything that came to hand, and then we tried to eat it.
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Asya, daughter 7 years old, son 3 years old:
Parental mode has changed: I try to wake up early to do work tasks before the baby gets up. Then the children's lift - everything is as usual, but now the children do not go to kindergartenbut stay at home with me.
We live outside the city and can afford to walk. In the afternoon after a walk - calm games. I can do something about work at this time. The younger has a daytime sleep, the older one draws, constructs from Lego, watches video tutorials from an online school.
If both children were over 5 years old, then everything would be easy, but a 3-year-old requires maximum attention.
Ksyusha, daughters 2.5 years old:
There were no global changes. The regime is in place. But now the lessons and household chores that I did alone, we do in conjunction with the child. It's cool that the daughter is involved in home economics. But he does, of course, not always the way he would like.
2. Are there any new difficulties with children?
Ksyusha, daughters 2.5 years old:
By increasing the joint time, it is necessary to negotiate more, to adapt. The pace, interests, desires are different for everyone. Now there is no sections and kindergartens, and if before I did not observe some manifestations of the child, now I see everything completely.
Dima, daughters 2.6 years old:
There were no new difficulties. But during this time, I learned how angry my daughter is. I realized that at this moment it is better not to be with her.
Lera, son 2.5 years old:
There are no difficulties, except that you have to explain more to a person that he could do some things himself. There are already the first successes: the son can clean up after himself or, for example, brush his teeth.
Katya, daughters 1.5 years old:
The child is very painfully experiencing his uselessness to significant adults. This leads to the fact that it practically grips the mother with his teeth. A mini-ritual of farewell to dad or grandmother was introduced during their work. The fact that they find themselves behind closed doors, the daughter was able to accept, she even leaves the room and says "goodbye". Children like to understand the rules of the game. But the absence of a mother in the room where the daughter is, has become a problem. You can't even cook dinner. Immediately - worries that mom now has no time for her.
Asya, daughter 7 years old, son 3 years old:
Many classes have moved to the online space, the schedule has changed. They occur during the daytime: gymnastics, for example, from 11:00 to 13:00. You need to prepare the child in advance, turn on the computer, download everything and be there in case the video crashes and the like.
3. What are you doing to secure your workspace?
Asya, daughter 7 years old, son 3 years old:
I work in the morning while the children are still sleeping, during the daytime sleep and after lights out. It turns out on average 7-8 working hours.
It is clear that you need to rebuild your working day. The efficiency, of course, is not so high, I cannot fully immerse myself in the work. I think the employer understands this.
Ksyusha, daughters 2.5 years old:
It is necessary to clearly build a working regime. In the morning, when the child is still asleep, in the afternoon, while asleep, in the evening, when he is already asleep. Plus, we distribute the time between adults when someone is with the child.
Audiobooks save me a lot: my daughter listens to them while drawing or sculpting. And if I need to urgently free myself up time, I take out games and books, which are usually not in the public domain for a child.
We have cartoons as a last resort. More often in the evening, when everyone is already tired. Plus I build different spaces for the game like Montessori-corners. I pour out the cereals, my daughter takes them apart. Or I put toys and other items in a bowl of water, and the child has a great time. Better then wipe up the puddle, but half an hour or an hour appears for work.
Lera, son 2.5 years old:
I have no tricks. I just work in my room, tell my son that I'm busy, and he bothers me to a minimum.
Katya, daughters 1.5 years old:
As far as my work is concerned, this is generally a disaster! I initially have part-time and remote work. My work depends little on other people, I could do it in the evenings or at night. In the evening, dad or grandmother was with the child. At night, of course, the daughter sleeps. But now it seems to me that my relatives work around the clock. The working day is losing boundaries.
The first week of the quarantine was tough. Previously, it was possible to put the child next to him and give the cotton wool "dragon", put cotton swabs in cups, play with an old keyboard or calculator, scatter dry rice or buckwheat around the perimeter. Remove toys hidden in foil or tear off pieces of scotch tape from the table. Or, conversely, evenly cover the furniture in the apartment with reusable stickers. Now my daughter permanently needs a person nearby, and it’s better if it’s me. Others have no trust.
Dima, daughters 2.6 years old:
To provide working space, I study in the closet (I have a big one) or in the toilet.
4. What's new in your out-of-hours activities with your child?
Dima, daughters 2.6 years old:
You can only rage and have fun with me, intellectual games do not come in. Therefore, we play as best we can with all the strange objects. The other day I saw an old cassette discarded on the street and brought it home, realizing that this would give me a whole hour of peace of mind. While the child is unwinding the cassette and playing with it, I can calmly sit next to my laptop.
Lera, son 2.5 years old:
There is a lot of creativity. We also look out the window and fantasize. My son already knows that planes, birds and rockets are flying in the sky, that there is space, but he cannot be seen that from our house you can see a Christmas tree and a larger tree, and made other interesting observations.
Ksyusha, daughters 2.5 years old:
Have become many times more to read, together to do something about the house. The child is included in everything that I do. I cook, write with my daughter.
In an enclosed space, we are forced to negotiate, make peace, watch our family. A cool new experience really.
Katya, daughters 1.5 years old:
On the weekend, it was decided to leave for the dacha, where there is plenty of space and all the conditions for a comfortable stay. There is a separate study for dad. There is my aunt with two children a little older. And nature!
In a new space, it is easier to establish new rules and a general regime. Rebuilding life in an apartment turned out to be a huge stress, and nothing worked out in a week and a half. At the dacha, in two days everyone was able to come to a common denominator, everyone is happy with everything. The cotton buds again became interesting to my daughter, and I managed to redo the accumulated work tasks and even regained my morning exercises, which the children also joined.
There is a suspicion that the situation in the city is complicated by alarming tension. It's one thing to voluntarily sit at home, and another thing to not understand what is happening in the world in general and how much longer to keep the door closed. And you can't change anything. And the dacha, after all, gives a little personal space and a sense of its own significance, because it depends only on you whether the stove will be flooded in the house today. The noise of the forest brings calmness.
Asya, daughter 7 years old, son 3 years old:
I try to load children with tasks that do not require my participation. There were no new classes, but there was more time for online lessons, piano lessons, watching cartoons and stupid games - hide and seek, besilovki, tickles.
I think that in such a situation you need to unload your head and load your hands so that there are many tasks and the day is filled. I use time management techniques - now, for example, I use the habit tracker from 365done.ru. The daughter has her own tracker with 6 daily tasks, such as make the bed, do exercises and homework.
We also watch films and discuss with my daughter. Small ones are not so interested in it yet. We watched The Adventures of Electronics, The Adventures of Petrov and Vasechkin, The Parent Trap, Free Willy. In general, I followed the children's classics, which I myself watched when I was little. Now there is more time for this.
Turning a blind eye to the negative effects of the pandemic, I am glad to be able to spend more time with children.
In conclusion, we have prepared a short checklist for you that will help you organize your life with your child during the period of self-isolation:
- Come up with a ritual for the child to accompany the parent "to work", even if you work in the same room.
- Organize the shift of adult family members and spend time with the children in turns.
- Arrange a comfortable workplace for yourself, whether it be a room, balcony or wardrobe.
- Choose activities for children that do not require the presence and control of parents. Coloring books, constructors, plasticine will help.
- Work during periods when children are sleeping.
- Make to-do lists with children for the day.
- Include audiobooks and online lessons for children.
- Divide games and books into those that are always available for the child and those that you will get at the moment when you need to quickly free up time for the parent.
- Arrange a home cinema club with a joint discussion.
- To captivate the child with a new hobby that he can master on his own.
- Several times during the working day, arrange outdoor games, where you can run, wrestle, and have fun together.
- Take time to relax when you are not doing anything but just looking at something beautiful. Look out the window, go out to the balcony or to the summer cottage, if possible.
- Do household and work chores with your child: give him plastic utensils and real food to cook dinner together, a notebook and pen for "work", a training mat.
- Use different objects to enhance the child's cognitive activity. For example, a tape cassette, beads, cereals, clothing.
- Perceive the current situation as a useful experience that will help build closer communication, formulate more understandable agreements and get to know your family better.
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