9 traditions that should be abandoned for a long time
A Life / / January 06, 2021
1. Affixed at work
Birthday, wedding, promotion? It is imperative to cover the clearing for colleagues. Going on vacation? Stop it! Home from vacation? Especially. Decided to quit? It's a sin not to have a farewell party. Otherwise, everyone will be offended and will discuss behind their backs what a miser and a bad person you are.
A similar situation, by the way, is observed with mandatory extortions for birthdays, weddings, appearance the birth of children and gender holidays: often a person is simply confronted with the fact that he needs to pass money. And if he has the courage to refuse, they may even survive from work.
However, any informal relationship between colleagues should be voluntary. If you want to chip in for an envelope or celebrate a birthday at work - great. I don't want to - it's also completely normal. Otherwise, it looks like tyranny.
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2. Making food a cult
It so happened that it is customary for us to arrange magnificent feasts for every even the slightest significant holiday. A celebration is not a celebration if there is no home on the table
jellied meat, five different salads, several types of hot and, of course, alcohol.It's one thing if you really love to cook and think that the best way to celebrate something is to eat and drink heartily. But more often it happens that feasts take up a lot of time, energy and nerves, and as a result, tired and angry owners no longer want to celebrate anything. Not to mention the fact that overeating is not good for your health.
The traditional feast is no longer the only way to celebrate an important event.
You can arrange a light buffet or, if the weather permits, a picnic. Or organize a candy bar. You can generally just grab a bite to eat at a nearby cafΓ© between ice skating and trampoline jumping. There are many options, and you can choose any without looking back at how it was done before. In the end, the holiday should bring joy, not mountains of dirty dishes.
3. Send congratulations in messengers and social networks
No, we are not talking about sincere and warm congratulations that you write yourself for each of your friends. It is always pleasant and appropriate. But to send everyone the same poems or send ugly postcards and gifs... It's not a desire to please a person, and the desire to comply with stupid formalities and tick off: congratulated everyone, I well done.
And congratulations on religious holidays deserve special attention. It's one thing if you know for sure that your addressee belongs to this particular confession and observes all the rituals. And it is completely different - when you just run the same picture-congratulation on the whole list of friends. Without figuring out whether a person marks this date and whether he believes in God at all.
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4. Communicate with all relatives
Just because they are related. And it doesn't matter if you are interested in these people, whether your outlook on life coincides, whether such communication brings joy.
You have to endure all this, simply because you have a number of genes in common with these people.
Yes, before it was necessary to be friends with all relatives up to the seventh generation for survival. People settled in large families, and in which case they could only count on each other. And even some 50 years ago, it was family ties that helped to get a job, find the right specialist or find an overnight stay in a foreign city.
But now these problems are much easier to solve. A real family is often completely alien, it would seem, people. And there is no reason to communicate with those who are not interesting to you, just because "blood is not water."
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5. Steal brides or pay ransom for them
There is such a βcuteβ wedding custom: in the middle of the celebration, the guests suddenly grab the bride by the arms and drag her away so that the groom would then look for her. Someone may find this funny, but the roots"Russian wedding: history and traditions" the traditions are actually terrible: in ancient times, girls were often kidnapped against their will and forced to marry. And even now the custom of stealing brides still not eradicated neither in Russia nor in the CIS countries.
Therefore, attempts to portray the abduction, albeit in a playful way, look quite creepy and return us to the days when a woman was considered a thing.
The same applies to bride ransoms, which few weddings do without. Previously, the groom paid for the girl, because her family was deprived of working hands, but in the modern world this is somehow humiliating.
True, this custom has one more meaning.Russian folk wedding traditions, more romantic: passing symbolic tests, the groom seemed to go to the other world for his betrothed and showed that he was ready to overcome any difficulties for her sake. But modern ransoms bear little resemblance to fairy-tale plots, but the topic of money and payment for the bride (albeit symbolic) is played up quite often. And living people are not a commodity.
6. Change surname after marriage
Earlier, after the wedding, the girl ceased to be part of her family and moved to her husband's family. Therefore, she renounced everything old, including her surname. But now this tradition looks like an atavism.
First, strong relationships are built on equality and partnership: a woman is not the property of a man and his relatives, he does not accept her into his family, but enters into an equivalent alliance. Secondly, running around in different instances and changing a whole mountain of documents is still fun. Thirdly, changing your last name can damage your career.
If it is convenient for a person - for example, the spouse's surname is more pleasant than his own - why not. But giving up part of your name just because someone once decided so is pointless. By the way, now women are increasingly leavingMore women keeping maiden name after marriage after marriage his last name, and this is quite logical.
7. Strictly separate male and female responsibilities
Washing the plumbing, floor or dishes is definitely not a man's occupation: "What am I, a woman, or what?" And hammering nails and assembling cabinets is definitely not for women: "Well, you are a girl, not a horse with eggs." And in this harsh and merciless division of household responsibilities, there are several problems at once.
First, you don't need to assemble cabinets, nail shelves and change faucets as often, but you have to cook and clean every day. And in the end, homework still liesShould men help their women with household chores? mainly on women, and traditionally male duties are considered only to take out the trash and maintain the car. However, if a lady at the same time works on an equal basis with her partner, this is unfair.
Secondly, because of these stereotypes, girls are simply not taught to change these unfortunate mixers or hammer up stools, and the boys cook, sew and clean. And any attempts to reverse this situation run up against a wall of indignation.
Although the ability to bake a cake or fix furniture is useful to anyone, regardless of gender.
Thirdly, it is simply illogical. Yes, there are tasks that require great physical strength or high growth, and it is more difficult for women to cope with them, but they are negligible. But it is much more efficient and faster to do homework on an equal footing, without dividing it into male and female.
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8. Dress girls in pink and boys in blue
Newborn girls wear pink hats and roll them in red and pink strollers. Male babies are entitled to different shades of blue and other subdued colors such as gray. The toys are also clearly separated by color. And in the adult world, this line is erased, but not completely.
How and why the colors acquired a gender connotation, no one knows for sure. It may have started in the 1950s, when pink was suddenly declared the color of women. Joe Paoletti, a professor at the University of Maryland and author of Pink and Blue, suggestsWhy Is Pink for Girls and Blue for Boys?that it was a marketing ploy to get people to buy more children's clothing.
However, the division of colors into male and female is at least meaningless.
In addition, this stereotype brings a lot of inconvenience. Men are embarrassed to wear a hot pink shirt or socks, and women overpayPink Tax: Why Do Women Pay More? for pink goods that differ from similar ones only in the color of the packaging.
9. Follow tradition for show
We do a lot of things for one reason: it's customary. We repeat ritualsthat have long lost their meaning, and we build our life according to the recommendations and principles of centuries ago. But at the same time we forget that we should not do this at all.
For example, they should not invite 150 distant relatives to a wedding just because their parents want it. And in general they are not obliged to conduct a ceremony if there is no desire. Should not give up torn jeans or colored hair because "it is not accepted at your age." And of course they shouldn't have children or get married because "it's time."