5 hard truths about work to embrace

You've probably been let down by a colleague you thought was a friend. Or you drank too much at an office party, and then noticed sidelong glances from all sides.

The point is, you shouldn't mix professional and personal life. It’s not very pleasant to hear this, because we spend more time at work than anywhere else. Naturally, we want to have fun in the process. But this does not replace the need to follow certain rules. And the sooner you understand this, the easier it will be for you.

1. Colleagues are not your friends

It all starts in the recruiting process. Personnel officers and managers convince that they have an open atmosphere in the company, that teamwork and honesty are valued. It seems that everyone there is best friends. Don't believe it. In all organizations, everything is about the same, because people are essentially the same everywhere.

We all tend to compete with each other, and it would be naive to pretend that we are not.

There is even nothing wrong with that. Just don't treat your colleagues like friendsdon't expect too much from them. At work, people are primarily in order to get money for their living. Do not think that they will sacrifice their salary for your friendship. Build relationships on a different model. Be friendly, have fun with coworkers, but stay professional first.

2. External impression is everything

This is perhaps the hardest truth to come to terms with. If you have established yourself as an office joker, you will not be taken seriously, no matter how hard you work. If you get the impression that you always give up everything and go home at exactly five, you will no longer be offered new opportunities.

Feigned employment from the outside looks exactly the same as real.

This does not mean at all that now you have to think only about the external impression. Just keep in mind that it affects how you feel about you and your career. Try to remind yourself of your competence and be a professional.

3. Open doors aren't that open

Leaders often say that everyone is free to express their opinions and approach them at any time. “My door is always open, literally and figuratively,” they like to repeat. But when you dare to speak up, you are perceived with hostility. Their negative reaction is not even related to you personally. It's just that most people do not know how to perceive feedback and feel criticism as a personal attack.

So try not to be too frank. A little restraint doesn't make you fake: it's empathy. And learn to present criticism correctly. Don't repeat the mantra of "honest" people who say that others just need to grow up and not be offended. This is a stupid approach because you will never change others. But you can change yourself.

4. Couples become targets for gossip

The more often we see a person, the more attractive he seems to us.Beauty is in the belief of the beholder: cognitive influences on the neural response to facial attractiveness. That is why, at some point, you start to like a colleague whom you have not noticed before. At one office party, you suddenly find a lot in common and feel like a spark has run between you. Then everything develops rapidly, and now you are already meeting.

It's not that bad, but it can easily get you into trouble.

Couples often feel like “we are and everyone else is,” which can be harmful at work. You will become the subject of gossip, and it will not help when you need to move up the career ladder. So it's best to keep your personal life and work separate.

5. Some employees are treated in a special way

“John gets away with it, this not fair! " Yes, but John is a superstar on the team and therefore gets the concessions.

In every company there is a person who brings the most results, whom they rely on. Naturally, he is treated in a special way. And naturally, the rest are jealous and think it is wrong. Yes, companies could reward their John in a less visible way, but then there is a risk that the superstar will leave. And this will bring losses.

You can complain as much as you like about the injustice, but this will not help either yourself or the employer. The truth is, some employees are irreplaceable and others are not. Your task is to enter the first group.

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All these are not scientific results, but remarks based on my experience and common sense. Perhaps I am somehow wrong. Perhaps things will be different in the future. I will even be glad if it turns out to be so. But for this we must all try to change something in our work.