Try new or choose familiar: how this choice guides our lives

Most often, the best dish on the menu of a cafe or restaurant is the one that you tried there first. Let's see why. If you live in a large enough city with quite a few establishments, chances are you will visit many of them.

If you didn't like the food on your first visit, you are unlikely to return to this place. If it turns out to be excellent, you will come again and again. Every establishment has very good and mediocre food. What you liked belongs to the best deals on the menu. So, with a high probability, it is one of the most delicious in this institution.

Choosing a meal in a restaurant can seem like a breeze. But at the root of this decision is the eternally tormenting question: to try something new or choose something familiar.

• Stay in your current job or try yourself in something else?
• Be with the same person you started dating at school, or look for someone new?
• Go on vacation to your favorite destination or visit unexplored exotic countries?
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• Continue watching one show or picking up another?
• Should I go home the usual way or a new one?

How we make a choice

It would be nice if there was a simple rule on which to rely in such cases. But there is no solution to this dilemma yet.Should I stay or should I go? How the human brain manages the trade ‑ off between exploitation and exploration.. We usually do one of three ways.

The first option is to make the “best decision” given the information currently available, but sometimes experiment. For example, two times out of three ordering your favorite dish, and once blindly choosing something new.

The second option is to deliberately try new things when there is time for it. This is what people usually do in scientific experiments.Humans Use Directed and Random Exploration to Solve the Explore – Exploit Dilemma.. They are more likely to choose unknown options when they think they have more time. If limited, they prefer the safer familiar options. In ordinary life, the same thing happens.

If you are going to go to the restaurant for many more years, then you can safely try all the dishes on the menu.

But if you come to the city for a few days, you will want to order what you are sure of.

The third option is to use information from someone else's experience to try to predict the best option. For example, say your friends admire pasta in an Italian restaurant. You will want to order it, even if you yourself have not tried this dish before.

As we age, we increasingly choose the familiar: we spend time with the same people, instead of meeting new ones, we don't change our jobs and hobbies. But children are, in essence, researchers and experimenters. They try what they fail, easy make new friends and are curious about unknown situations.

What else determines whether we try something new or not

Local maximum trap

Imagine a low hill and mountain. If you are standing on the top of a hill, you first need to go down to climb the mountain. If you remain on the hill, you simply will not see the beautiful views from a higher point.

One friend of mine studied to be a doctor, and in the beginning everything went well with her. Then she found a part-time job as a bartender and began to earn good money. Over time, it became more difficult to combine work and study, her grades got worse and worse, and as a result, she dropped out of university.

When we are faced with a good offer early, we do not want to take on something less profitable.

After all, it seems to us that we have already risen high. Although this is just a local maximum, and if we go down from it, we can expect much more serious peaks.

Ambition

It combines the knowledge of what can be achieved in the world, and a certain confidence that it is quite within your power. More ambitious people tend to experiment more and not be afraid to turn down good offers. It's just that their initial ideas of success are much higher. If my friend was more ambitious, she could have finished her studies and made a medical career.

I remember having to refuse orders that paid well when I barely had enough money for basic expenses. But I knew what I wanted build your business, not someone else's. Then this decision brought losses, but I had time to engage in projects that eventually led me to success.

Reward rate

Imagine a heroin addict. He will not experiment with delayed gratification and try things that may not pay off. He knows that the familiar variant (heroin) will receive a high reward, and he longs to receive it as soon as possible. Of course, this is an extreme case.

But the principle works in other similar situations, when it is impossible to wait, and a familiar choice will definitely bring at least something.

Conversely, if you feel confident and satisfied, you are much more likely to move to a new job, start dating a new person, or try to open your own business. Because you are ready to wait for the reward, and not strive to receive it right now.

How to become more open to new things

A large amount of experimentation is not always good in itself, and sometimes not necessary. For example, if you have a wonderful marriage, you won't get divorced just because it is okay. In other cases, it is important to be able to experiment: it allows you to make the best decision, and not put up with a bad option.

Change your life little by little. Improve your financial situation, monitor your health, manage your time wisely, then gradually you will have more room for experimentation.

1. Ensure your financial stability. To do this, you need to spend less than you receive and save regularly. Also be sure to create financial cushion for emergencies.
2. Avoid empty employment. Tired people usually have no time for new things. Try to get rid of unnecessary small tasks and do not agree to all the tasks that are offered to you.
3. Take time to experiment. Leave blank lines on your calendar ahead of time to learn new things, meet people, and visit unfamiliar places.
4. Strengthen friendships and other relationships. Prosperity requires not only money, but also the emotional support of loved ones. In toxic relationships or alone, we often make decisions that harm our long-term interests.
5. Learn to settle for less. There are people who earn a lot, but still feel cornered, because they spend every penny. Others receive much less, but feel that they have enough. Try not to overstate the requests, and there will be more opportunities for experimentation.