Why we have enough motivation, but we still do nothing

Everyone around is looking for motivation and worry that it is not enough. But the opposite problem also happens: the desire to act is over the edge, but this does not help in any way. And as a result, all the enthusiasm gradually evaporates, and you never did anything. This is very frustrating. Let's figure out why this is happening and what to do about it.

1. We limit ourselves

Imagine: you are full of enthusiasm and are eager to act - for example, to start your own business. But then a voice sounds in my head that says: “Oh well. Who needs it? All good startups have already been opened, I still can't think of anything better. You don't have to try. " Or: "You won't be able to earn a lot of money in an honest way."

If something similar has happened to you (and this happens to everyone, and all the time), then you are faced with your own limiting beliefs.What are you limiting beliefs. These are ideas, thoughts and attitudes that are formed in us under the influence of parents, public sentiments, and sometimes even proverbs and sayings.

And although there is some truth in them, they are often biased and based on generalizations and false assumptions. But at the same time, they can have a great influence on our judgments and decisions.

Because of them, we do not dare to defend our rights, because "everything is useless, corruption is everywhere, it is better not even to get involved"; we are not looking for a new job, because "the main thing is stability, and here they pay regularly, albeit a little." And, of course, we cannot take on new things, become better and change our lives.

Here are some examples of limiting beliefs that get in our way:

• “At the age of 40 it is too late to receive a second degree. The brains are not the same, and in general it is time to retire soon. "
• "Business is very difficult, without connections and bribes nothing will work."
• "Needed where was born".
• "Nothing is given just like that, all good things must first be earned."
• "Creativity is not work."
• “You need to get sick with childhood illnesses. It is not for an adult to dye their hair pink, play a console and master the guitar. "

How to fix it

Psychologists recommend4 Steps to Release “Limiting Beliefs” Learned From Childhood carefully monitor your thoughts, identify and write down beliefs that are holding you back from moving on, and try to reformulate them into something more positive and inspiring.

Instead of “At my age, it's too late to change jobs”, you can say to yourself: “I have a lot of life and professional experience, so I can definitely be useful in a new field. And if I don’t know something, I can learn. ” It is better to write down new settings and return to them periodically.

2. We're too hard on ourselves

We are called from all sides to take responsibility for our lives and are bombarded with slogans like “Die, but do it”, “If you don’t do it, then you just don’t want to” and “Everything depends only on you”. As a result, we only blame ourselves for failures or inaction, without shifting responsibility or looking for excuses.

And this is generally not bad. But don't forget that we are also influenced by circumstances and other people.

And this influence is sometimes quite significant, and it is difficult to resist it. So, an asthenic with weak immunity cannot work as much as a physically strong person. Those who grew up in a wealthy family have more opportunities to get a good education and build a business. And it is much easier to radiate awareness and positive if you live alone in a large apartment, and not with three children in a one-bedroom apartment.

Does this mean that you need to fold your legs and start sighing heavily about your heavy share? In no case. Just be more condescending to yourself, do not scold or demand the impossible. Everyone has obstacles and limits and must be considered. Or, if they are temporary, try to overcome them.

How to fix it

There are fundamental barriers, like genetics and health conditions, that little can be done about. And there are small but annoying little things that are easy to get rid of. In its book "The Force of Habit" Charles Duhigg calls them context.

The context can be changed if it is recognized in time. For example, you want to do yoga in the morning, but you don’t do it because you don’t have a comfortable rug, so order yourself one. Or you don't go to bed on time because your bedroom isn't comfortable enough - just change the decor a little. For example, buy new curtains and a nice night light.

3. We forget that motivation is not the main thing.

There is so much talk about motivation and the search for it that we are used to considering it the solution to all problems. Therefore, we chase it, read books and articles on how to find and awaken motivation, but we do not focus on the most important thing, that is, on action.

As if we are talking about some wonderful spell, thanks to which everything will be decided by itself. The same, by the way, applies to willpower.

And yet it is just a desire or need to act. Being motivated to find a new job or learn English doesn't mean doing it.

How to fix it

Don't look for motivation, inspiration and willpower, but focus on business. Make a plan for how to achieve the desired goal, and immediately begin to implement it. Mihai Csikszentmihalyi in his book "Flow. The Psychology of Optimal Experience ”suggests that enthusiasm and dedication to what we do come after we have set a goal and started acting. Like appetite while eating.

It is also important to work on the correct habits. By bringing some action to automatism, we can no longer worry about motivation, willpower and other ephemeral substances.

4. We are tormented by fears and traps of thinking

We may not be aware of this, but fears and cognitive distortions literally rule our lives and decisions. For example, fear of change, fear of responsibility, fear of rejection. And also underestimation of inaction and a deviation towards the status quo, which makes us feel that doing nothing is safer than doing and losing. And this is only a small part of all the fears and traps that hinder us.

How to be

Each of the fears will have to be dealt with separately. The life hacker has already told how to cope with the fear of the unknown, with the fear of failures and before success.