Trent Hamm
Writer and blogger, creator of the popular site for business and finance The Simple Dollar.
A few weeks ago I was a guest at the wedding of a friend, whom I know for about 20 years. I was not among the best men and did not know some of them, but I had the opportunity a little chat with them.
Fiance introduced me as a writer, and then followed by the usual questions. What are you writing about? Where you publish? And so on, you get the idea. When the groomsmen realize that I write about personal financesOne of them smiled and asked me the million dollar question:
- Hey, do not find you financial advice for the newlyweds?
I thought for a few seconds, and then just gave the first thing that came into my head. My answer caused quite a positive reaction, but then we moved on to other topics of conversation.
However, this question stuck in my head. Any advice on the subject of finance, I could give newlyweds? I know that this year a few pairs of my acquaintance are going to register the marriage. So I decided to write an article that would be useful for all of them. In it, I summarized my own more than ten years of the marriage, the conclusions to which I It came after talks with a much more mature couples and reading countless books on the subject Finance. Here are ten of financial advice for newly married couples.
Tip number 1. Not to conceal from her husband no, hear no dollar spent!
This is the most important advice that I can give to the newlyweds. Never, never withheld from their halves of a single dollar spent. Dot.
Do not misunderstand me. I believe that both spouses must have the money for personal expenses, which they could spend freely, without asking permission from each other. However, this amount should be reasonably limited and well-known, and husband and wife. If you do not follow these simple rules, it's a very high probability will cause your family to financial problems and eventually to the problems in the relationship.
If you have got a secret credit card, you are making a huge mistake. If you quietly withdraw money via ATM and hope that her husband will not notice, your error is not less great.
Why? Your significant other planning budget, assuming that he knows all the family expenses and that the money will not disappear from your bank account. All of your joint plans related to money, whether it's something serious, such as putting money aside for a new home or retirement, or current expenses such as paying bills or buying food, rely on the funds that are intended to be present on your account.
If you start to quietly spend more and more money to pay the bills, hobbies or trips to the store, that you hide from your second half, it destroys not only your joint plans, but also the trust between you.
It's not worth it. If you certainly do not want to destroy your marriage.
I repeat: it does not mean that you should report to the spouse for every penny. I say that you need to set some reasonable limits on individual expenses. Perhaps you will come to that select each other for $ 100 a month (can be more or less, in depending on your income), which can be to spend at its discretion, including on gifts each other. This money you can spend at any time, without asking permission from anyone. If you exceed this limit, it will be necessary to discuss.
Tip number 2. Discuss your overall goal as often as possible
If we are talking about common goals, it is important to have your views on what those goals and how your income is associated with their achievement coincided. If you do not work hard to achieve the same goals, then you are literally working against each other. In this case, your money and time consuming, you will only interfere with each other to achieve the desired.
Suppose, for example, that one of you wants to save for retirement and the other wants to save up for a trip abroad. If the two of you at the same time pull the money out of the common pot, then none of you will achieve the goal, no matter how you tried.
The best solution would be to sit down and figure out which of your goals are the same, and then make a plan to advance these goals.
Perhaps it will not be easy. There is a possibility that you can not even decide what goals are most important to you. This too needs to be discussed.
During this important conversation about the goals I suggest just to talk about what each of you would like to change in your life over the next five years, then - ten, then - the rest of his life. What would you like to see your life in five years (if you try to be the least bit realistic)? And in ten or twenty years? And in old age than take?
Then check for yourself what your ideas are the same. On this basis, formulate common goals. Let these goals are paramount for both of you. Then make a plan to achieve them.
However, remember that this is not a one-time event. Your general and personal goals and priorities will change. Regularly go back to this conversation, to make sure that both of you are still focused on achieving common goals. Do not be afraid to give up some goals, because with time the two of you are changing. And do not be afraid to set new goals.
Tip number 3. Sometimes your spouse will take you out of yourself. Forgive her or him for it
Someday it will happen. You will have disagreements. After five or ten years of cohabitation, you will find in their half features that you will be very annoying.
These shortcomings are very easy to get stuck. You focus your attention on some shallow flaw, and in your eyes he begins to grow, and eventually becomes unbearable for you.
Maybe your husband leave things on the floor behind the bathroom door. Maybe your wife sometimes likes to give a command. Perhaps the husband doted on your daughter, and a son, he is more strict. Perhaps you think that your wife spends all day watching their favorite TV show is infinitely repeated.
Do not focus on the shortcomings of its halves. Instead, think about how much it remarkable features. Focus on what you like in your mateAnd find the strength to forgive him for his imperfections.
If the husband throws things, just throw them in the basket instead. If your wife wants to give a command on the issue, which neprintsipialen for you, then let a little pokomanduet. If someone from the children my husband still pulls with it, show some rigidity and be more strict with the child if necessary. If the wife likes to revise the series, just turn over and read the book yet.
Forgive your spouse these shortcomings. Find a way to not harp on them. Instead, focus on the positive features of a spouse. You'll see, it will be much better.
Tip number 4. To retirement did not inspire fear you, start making plans now!
No matter how old are you now. In the end, you will still get old. You will continue to work hard, and you want to spend some time of their lives until order enables health, enjoying leisure in retirement.
The trick is that the younger you are, the easier it will be to secure a peaceful retirement. You can already start saving money little by little, and then in retirement you will not have any problems. But if you wait until you knock 40 or 50, you'll have to start saving far greater amount.
So think about how you would want to spend the years after retirement, and discuss it with your partner. Then start saving money. This is directly related to the following advice.
Tip number 5. You are both independently of each other have to save money for retirement
When you are seriously interested in the issue of pension savings, you may run into the fact that the employer of one of the offers you a better corporate pension plan. Or maybe, in the work of one of you (or both of you), this program is not offered at all.
With this in mind, you may be a great temptation to shift the question of pension savings for one spouse to take advantage of more favorable offer.
Do not fall into this trap.
The reality is that, perhaps, at some point you are no longer husband and wife. In this case, one of you will have no pension savings and will be very sorry about it. There is a possibility that some of the money you get when divorce proceedings, but there is no sense to expose themselves to such risks.
The best way for each of you will start your own expense for pension savings.
Each of you should use your own personal pension plan. If your workplace offers similar plans, which include the possibility of formation of counterpart funds, then use them. If not, open the individual pension contributions and start saving for retirement.
Each of you should strive to put off the expense of 10% of their personal income, whatever its size. If you start to do it up to 35 years in retirement, you will not have money problems, you'll be together or not.
Tip number 6. The time will come when, for one reason or another, you have to take the money the costs. Take this fact (and plan how you will act)
In 2008, I decided to devote himself entirely to work on the site The Simple Dollar. My wife and I knew that the decision was linked to certain risks: if the site is not popular, that for some time she would have to provide for the family itself. Fortunately, the case was a success, so it did not happen.
My wife took the opportunity to take leave for health and family reasons and was not working for most of 2010. This leave is not paid. Costs on health care fell on me, and for some time we lived quite modestly.
In 2014, his wife was admitted to the master's degree and worked on weekends, and sometimes - in the evening on weekdays. Education was not cheap. This meant that I had to take over more of the costs associated with raising children, and to give children more time. But shortly before my wife opened great opportunities for career growth.
After a year or two I do seriously planning to continue their studies to obtain a master's degree. To study will leave most of my free time when I'm not busy working on The Simple Dollar.
In each of these cases, the employment of one of us affects the financial (and not only financial) cost of another. This is normal. It so happens that your significant other has to go through the hard times of unemployment. Sometimes there is a need to continue training. At times one spouse decides to just some time to sit at home with children or to children educated at home. Or do something else.
Sooner or later it will happen. Do not let that takes you out of balance. When your mate in life there are any changes, you can support it, and it will support you when something will change in your life. Because change is inevitable.
Tip number 7. Create a family emergency fund. You will never regret it
What exactly is meant by the reserve fund? It simply means that you set aside in the event of any unforeseen circumstances. This usually open a special savings account.
The reserve fund may be useful if one of you loses his job or will break the car. He will come in handy during any difficult situations in the family, almost any surprises that are associated with certain cash costs.
Why not use this credit card? Due to the fact that credit cards are often absolutely useless in the event of unforeseen circumstances. For example, when identity theft if you pull out a purse from his pocket, when the bank blocks your card or reduce the limit on it, and so on. All of the above refers to unforeseen circumstances in which credit card will not save you. But save cash.
To do this, you need to create a family emergency fund. Open a savings account at the two names at once (if available). Ideally, this account is necessary to open a bank whose services you do not use (to gain access to the account was a little harder than usual), and set up an automatic transfer of money to the account. Choose a score that you did not have the possibility at any time to use the card and withdraw money from it. This will help you avoid the temptation to spend the money deferred.
Over time, the amount of money in the account will grow slowly. Just forget about this account. Use it only when absolutely necessary.
In the presence of such a reserve fund suddenly the problems will not be disastrous for you. You will be able to live without too much turmoil.
Tip number 8. You need not such a big house, what do you think
Many young couples choose to buy a big house. They imagine a kind of home-publicized version of the American dream: a large beautiful house in a quiet area ideal neighbors, a beautiful courtyard, where kids frolic ...
The problem is that this dream is very expensive. The larger the house, the bigger the score. The longer it takes to pay the mortgage. The greater the utility costs, insurance costs, the payment of property tax for the maintenance of the house.
Another problem stems from the fact that a large house in the end turns into a bunch of rooms in which you skladiruete things. Most people use regularly only a few rooms: a bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, and maybe even the living room, where there is a TV or a computer. In the other rooms in the end just starts accumulate trashOr keep them in the event of arrival.
In a large house more space to fill things. To beat him, you need a lot of money.
Instead of looking for a huge dream house, stop for a little. Find a cheap house, little spend on repairs, so that it looks the way you like, and your account will not grow to frightening proportions. You will be much easier to find a means to something else that brings you joy.
Tip number 9. You do not so we need a new expensive car
The above reasons for buying a small house also apply in respect of vehicles. The all-new expensive car will cost you not cheap. You will repay the loan longer. For the insurance you have to pay as an order of magnitude greater. In sum, all of this translates into significant costs.
When buying a car to get the best results at the lowest cost, you can purchase a used car last model from a reliable seller. Use it until you see any problems. Then replace this machine to another used car last model, purchased from a reliable vendor. To find such a seller, I use site Consumer Reports. First and foremost I consider cars Toyota and Honda.
So you will be able to pay for the car much less, and the money saved can be put off to a savings account, so that when the time comes to replace the car, to take a major first payment or pay the full cost of the car immediately. Sign in the cycle, and you'll never have to buy a car on credit.
In addition, service charges and insurance used car is also not so high.
Tip number 10. Spend as much time together. And do it productively
My final advice is completely linked to the maintenance of relations in marriage. The reality is that in America around half of marriages end in divorce. Statistics unpleasant, but what to do.
In a divorce, there is another side. This is a very an expensive process. Attorneys' fees, court fees, a dramatic change in lifestyle and distribution expenses... All this is due to the large, very costly.
The best thing that a young couple can do to maintain a good financial situation, - strengthening family relationships. If your marriage is strong, you do not have to get divorced, and this is the best way to save money.
How to work on the relationship in a pair? It is best to spend more time together. It is desirable that it was not a passive pastime type joint TV viewing. To do something active. Often talk with each other.
Every day, my wife Sarah necessarily take the time out to talk. Yes, there are days when we are not able to speak, until the children go to bed. But after we will tell each other how was your day. We are discussing our goals, the state of affairs in the world. We talk about what interests us both.
In addition, we often do something together: playing board games, walk, sometimes doing exercises. We plan to improve our home.
We love together to restore order in the house. Working together, we spend just 20 minutes to clean the kitchen and living room. All this time, we communicate with each other. This is an amazing way brings us together, because we are conducting not only a wonderful conversation, but also work together to ensure that our home has become more beautiful and more comfortable.
Do something together. If necessary, give out at this time. This can be especially useful if you have children. Time together will only strengthen your marriage.
And finally ...
Your life is changing dramatically for the better when it comes to someone to whom you can rely on, who sincerely loves you and helps you to make important life decisions.
But this does not mean that you can just relax and enjoy. Not everything will go smoothly. And the solution of financial issues is of great importance for your marriage.
If you will concern seriously to these tips and take advantage of them, you will find that you become much easier to cope with the financial (and sometimes not only financial) difficulties.
Good luck!