How to recognize someone with narcissism
Educational Program Health / / December 29, 2020
Narcissists are traditionally called narcissistic people, fixated on their own person. However, not every narcissist suffers from narcissism.
Have a narcissistic disorderICD-10. Specific personality disorders (F60) personality has very specific symptoms.
How to recognize someone with narcissistic personality disorder
Any psychotherapist's handbook, an up-to-date edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), listsDSM ‑ IV and DSM ‑ 5 Criteria for the Personality Disorders nine signs of a true narcissist. At the same time, for a diagnosis, it is enough if a person meets only fiveNarcissistic Personality Disorder of them.
1. Maintains relationships with "special" people
The narcissist always has authoritative, influential acquaintances from circles, access to which is difficult for “mere mortals”: businessmen from the first hundred of the Forbes list, brilliant artists, owners of various rarities, close friends and lovers of stars with the world name. Well at least myself narcissus likes to talk about such connections.
The person with narcissistic disorder uses the status of acquaintances as a way to increase self-esteem and credibility in the eyes of others.
By the way, this is one of the reasons why narcissists seem so attractive, why they are easy to fall in love with and difficult to part with. When a person “with such connections!”, “So sophisticated!” suddenly draws attention to you, it tickles pride very much. It’s like you’re on the same social footing as the narcissist’s great acquaintances, and you also begin to feel “special”. And this is a kind of psychological drug that is hard to refuse.
2. Often talks about his own victories and achievements
Whether it's a controversial moment at work, a conflict in a store or public transport, a random race from a traffic light - the narcissist wins out of any situation. More precisely, this is how he tells others.
Jacklyn Krol, psychotherapist, for HealthlineIt is important for a narcissist to demonstrate that he is better and smarter than everyone else. It helps him feel more confident.Am I Dating With Narcissist?.
It is characteristic that stories about victories always take the form of monologues. Narcissus needs admiring listeners. As soon as one of them begins to pull the blanket over themselves and talk about their own achievements, the person with narcissism becomes bored and he turns off the conversation.
3. Needs compliments and cannot stand criticism
From the outside, the narcissist seems to be an extremely confident person. But, as experts suggestAm I Dating With Narcissist?Most people with narcissistic personality disorder have severe self-esteem problems.
That is why they expect constant compliments from others. If admiration is not enough, or worse, the narcissist is criticized, he reacts very emotionally. Can theatrically exclaim: "I am not appreciated here!" Often reproaches relatives and colleagues for inattention and heartlessness. At the slightest remark, it may cry or run away, slamming the door and shouting something offensive at the end.
Then, perhaps, he will return in order to still get recognition from you. For this, the narcissist manipulates guilt: it is not he who is emotionally unrestrained, but you meanly offended, underestimated and provoked him.
4. Seems like a dreamer and idealist
The narcissist seems ideal to himself and therefore expects a special, impeccable life. And if something does not work out, the responsibility for it shifts to the people around.
If difficulties arise in love or family relationships, the partner is to blame: he looked wrong, did the wrong thing, did not appreciate it. “All women are bitches, and I'm looking for that one and only soul mate who will understand me” - the demonstrative position of the classic narcissist.
Narcissistic personality disorder is more commonNarcissistic Personality Disorder: Diagnostic and Clinical Challenges occurs in men. At risk are young (up to 45 years old) people who are not married.
If it doesn't work out with career and money, of course, society is to blame. More precisely, its successful representatives, who (from the point of view of the narcissist) probably achieved their position with the help of influential relatives, through bed, by deception. Narcissists often oppose themselves to society, emphasizing their status as an unrecognized genius and a lone wolf disenchanted with an imperfect world.
5. Considers himself worthy of special treatment
This means that the narcissist demands more rights for himself than for others. He will not stand in line - he will find a way to enter the desired office or to the counter first, even if it turns into a scandal. He expects priority service at the restaurant. Or sincerely counts on an "understanding" attitude from the authorities, even if is late for the fifth time in a week or misses the deadline.
He "needs" to sit at the window, open (or close) the window or go about his hobby - instead of washing dishes, cleaning or going shopping.
The interests of the person with narcissistic personality disorder always come first. Others are invited to only accept this.
6. Often arrogant, shows disrespect for those who are lower in status
One of the characteristics of the classic narcissist is the sense of superiority over others. This is clearly manifested in situations where a person suffering from narcissism is faced with a service industry. He can be rude to waiters, wardrobe workers, consultants, petty clerks. Subordinates or those who are younger also suffer from his arrogance.
If the narcissist is blamed for this, he will explain his behavior as shortcomings in the work of the "lower class" and will say that he simply demands a little respect for himself.
7. Exploits others
For the narcissist, it is in the order of things when he is served, and he is not interested in what forces and how this is achieved. For example, in a family relationship, he will expect dinner, cleanliness and excellent physical shape from a partner - simply because he "must" (even if he has two jobs, a child and an objective lack of time for sport).
If the partner tries to rebel, depreciation, gaslighting and others will be used abusive techniques.
8. Openly manipulates people
Pressing on pity, hitting on feelings of guilt and conscience, twisting facts and blaming others for what they didn't do - this is not a complete list of what the narcissist does to achieve his goals.
This is not to say that he deliberately manipulates. It's just that his psyche works on justifying himself and blaming others.
9. Unable to empathize
Lack of empathy (compassion for the feelings and problems of others) is one of the most characteristic signs of a narcissist.
A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder is totally self-absorbed. To delve into other people's problems, to provide support is simply boring for him.
This is one of the reasons why narcissists almost never have a long-term relationship - either friendly or romantic.
What to do if a person is a narcissist
Narcissism is one of the least studiedNarcissistic Personality Disorder: Diagnostic and Clinical Challenges personality disorders. It is extremely difficult to treat it, since daffodils usually do not considerNarcissistic Personality Disorderthat they have mental health problems. On the contrary: they are sure that others have problems, which means that those need to be treated.
In addition, narcissism is often accompanied by other types of mental disorders - manic-depressive psychosis (bipolar disorder), depression, anxiety and dissocial (sociopathic) disorders. So therapy, even if the narcissist agrees to it, risks being long and difficult.
What to do if you are faced with a narcissist? The least energy-consuming but also the least humane way is to runAm I Dating With Narcissist? From him.
If you have the opportunity not to take the responsibility for solving other people's psychological problems, it makes sense not to.
However, this is not always the case. After all, a colleague, a valuable business partner, a close relative, or even a loved one can be a narcissist. Refusal to communicate will be tantamount to completely severing these important ties.
In this case, one thing remains - to persuade the narcissist to see a psychotherapist. The doctor will get to know the patient better and, depending on his condition, will select the most effective type of psychotherapy. Sometimes, in addition to it, you may needNarcissistic Personality Disorder: Treatment and drug treatment with antidepressants and antipsychotics.
You can benefit from psychotherapy if you have to deal with the narcissist every day. Communication with a person who suffers from narcissistic personality disorder has a destructive effect on those close to him: undermines self-esteem, makes you doubt yourself, can trigger the development of an anxiety disorder, or depression.
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