How to help your loved one to get out of depression
Tips / / December 19, 2019
The word "depression" recently navyazlo in the teeth. It is used everywhere. They represent a prolonged bad mood, it is used in jokes and memes. In fact, when the true depression comes to your loved one, it is somehow not funny but rather sad and even scary.
You see the changes that happen to your partner: its nothing pleases and surprises, he may spend days lying in bed, he was not interested in your conversations and attempts to entertain him. And you just breaks from the influx of thoughts and emotions. Did you not the cause of depression? Perhaps the end of the relationship? How long it will last and how to help?
Depression - a grim test for couples. But it is possible to pass it successfully. In this article we will talk about how to help your partner and save your union. We touch upon delicate topic of mental health, so you need to understand that we should not blindly follow all recommendations. Think about which ones and how you can use for your pair.
Do not take the symptoms of depression at his own expense
Most of the symptoms of depression turn your pair in the complete opposite of a happy union. The man depressed distorted perception of reality: even positive and joyful moments are presented to him, if not in the black, then exactly in gray.
Of course, he did not want to walk, go on dates and talk for hours and have sex. But it is generally accepted indicators of a good relationship. It is unlikely that someone of your friends says: "We have such a wonderful couple! My favorite comes home at night, silently looks on the iPad for three hours, and then goes to bed without saying a word! "
Therefore, noticing changes in behavior partner, you do the only right, do you think, the conclusion: he had lost all interest to you. This conjecture activity was confirmed and your friends if you obrisuete the situation to them.
Risk of depression even in its invisibility. If a person has a broken leg, he, too, can not walk and lots of sex, but everyone can see why - this plaster. On the internal state, we can not point the finger, so for themselves due to external changes are the most common and easiest way: love is gone. This conviction is growing even more, if you see that with other people your partner continues to behave as before, and you alone - deflates like a balloon. Blog Literally, Darling claims that it is, in fact, well:
Constant bad mood of a loved one, we almost always take at his own expense. You start to think that it is the reason you state the oppressed. But the man in a depression can not behave as usual, and even more so with loved ones who know it thoroughly. While it is a short time among strangers can pretend that everything is in order.
Of course, it hurts to see how your partner behaves quite normally with others and completely changing around you. But, surprisingly, it's a good sign. So he completely trusts you, loves you, and allows himself to discover what is really on his mind. If he tries to push you sometimes, do not be offended, move away, but be nearby.
Literally, Darling
Depression can cover a person for many reasons: illness or death of relatives, their own poor health, problems at workDifficulties with relatives or friends. But her symptoms will be felt primarily on you, he suddenly becomes boring to talk to you, do not want to go anywhere, or even watch TV shows in the evening.
If you can not help thinking that the partner does not want to be with you - ask him about it directly. And when he replied that it is not in you, take this answer, calm down and begin to work together to address the problem of its poor moral health.
To jointly develop a plan to get rid of depression
Do not take the symptoms of depression at his own expense, but do not ignore them. Yes, your partner is not showing any romantic feelings, but he will still be hurt if you will concern to disparage his state. If your loved one is ill or injured, you do not blame him and care for him and help heal. From depression to do the same.
In fact, for someone who is trying to cope with the depressed state of mind, attitude - great help. But only if you are moving in the same direction and act together: it is necessary to understand a partner and together to take practical steps. American Association for help with depression (Anxiety and Depression Association of America) offers many methods to combat depression: study of its status, goal setting, fixing results. However, the best method of treatment - working together with a loving man.
Mental health experts increasingly recommend twin and family treatment programs. After training at the doctor partner or family member can help the patient at home, that is, around the clock to provide treatment for him. "Family doctor" to be close to the patient in situations that exacerbate anxiety and low mood, and maintain, reducing anxiety.
American Association for help with depression
Your partner may not want to be treated. In this case, you can not settle on it and rushed. You can maintain, but not to force. You can try to start with the fact that together look for a good doctor or read the articles about the treatment. The main thing for the two of you - to understand that you are together and you are moving in the same direction.
If your efforts to break the stubbornness of your partner, if he rejects your support and I am sure that does not need help, decide for yourself whether you want to continue to be in this relationship and wait for positive changes or you do not have to it forces? But do not be a tractor for your partner, he has only himself to understand and accept that he needs help.
Leave your partner's personal space
Treatment of depression will always take place randomly. As if you were allowed to trample your cat in color, and then run through the white sheet. It seems your plan to cure worked out in detail, the goals are placed, all neatly recorded in the record book, and you boldly moving in the right direction.
But one morning the patient wakes up and feels hopeless... It's bad, so much hard work has been done, but nothing helps, my heart is still empty and terribly sad. Now it would be better to curl up into a ball of sadness and turn away from the world.
It happens, and it is natural. But you in these moments you want to give your patient a good kick to it has ceased to mope or completely abandon the treatment, because it does not bear fruit. Do not rush, one bad day - it's not the end of the world. Although your love will not be the main remedy for depression, it is still important to the patient, it says psychotherapist Maria Rita de.
Your love, your presence, your warmth, of course, need your partner. It will not stop the depression, as well as be able to, for example, lower blood sugar, or relieve the pain of arthritis. Nevertheless, your feelings may change the "broken" process in the mind of your partner, to revive his positive thoughts and raise his self-esteem in this difficult period.
Rita de Maria
Depression is fundamentally changing the usual life. What pleased, ceases to please; what fascinated or interested in, does not cause a drop of emotion now. The presence of a number of the one who receives a state of non-judgmental, and offense, is very supportive and even encouraging.
Set the border to save themselves
It is always very hard to maintain a person in depression. Sometimes overvoltage will reach a scale that jeopardize your own mental health. Victims do not need to like, "I'll do anything, just be my favorite person was healthy." Helping partner, set clear boundaries of your presence, do not dissolve completely in his condition. Leave time for your hobbies, meetings with friends, but just to be alone.
Sure, you want to help. But we should not subordinate his life partner, depression, during which you pay off the stability of its morale. You can even refuse to be "home GP" your loved one, if you understand that this is for you an excessive burden.
There are other ways to help: Remind the patient that it is necessary to fill in record book or drink a medicine, encourage him for trips to the doctor or to persuade another therapy session. But do not put everything on the altar of his illness, he should also do something.
And it is not violence, not a manifestation of dislike. You need to take care of himself, or both of you can be in the pit of despair. You can be very loving partner, but if you play with only one goal, and your patient does not want anything to do, it will create frustration and resentment, which will lead to the destruction of the union.
Allow yourself to speak, when you are dissatisfied with something, do not be afraid, causing relapse and worsen the condition of your loved one. Of course, some small disappointment can "preserve" in itself, but about the essential grievances necessarily talk.
At the end of this article I want to write, we hope that our advice to you is not useful, because you and your loved ones will always remain in a cheerful mood. In any case, always remember that everything in life is changing, and if you started a dull gray bar, then it must end.