Sadfishing: why people cry in Stories and how to react to it

You've probably noticed that recently people have stopped showing only their successes and achievements on social networks. And some even began to share their experiences - writing long sad posts, and sometimes taking pictures or filming them crying. Some people sympathize with such publications, while others consider them sadfishing and do not understand why people do all this.

What is Sadfishing

I came up with this word in 2019Sadfishing: Using your sadness to get comments and shares is making misery profitable British journalist Rebecca Reid. Literally the term can be translatedUrban Dictionary: Sadfishing as "catching the sadness." That is, sadfishing is when a person talks about their experiences on social networks, often in order to attract attention, get a wave of supportive comments, likes, and sometimes even a portion of new ones subscribers. He can write a post, post a meaningful picture, film, how he cries, is sad or sick.

Why do people post such posts

1. They want to be honest

Social networks have long been a venue for a kind of vanity fair. There were unspoken rules: to speak only about good things, to demonstrate success and happiness, to hide negative emotions and failures. To

attract attention, you had to boast well: talk about impressive achievements, post a dazzling photo, show expensive purchases.

But in the end, everyone was pretty tired of reticence and falsehood.

And some even faced psychological problems: comparing their life with the "ideal" life of their friends,The FOMO Is Real: How Social Media Increases Depression and Loneliness into despair and depression. And the pendulum swung in the other direction: people decided to show everything as it is. Share experiences, admit failures, photograph features of appearance that are considered flaws in society, appear in front of the camera without makeup, and so on.

2. They really feel bad

Psychologists noteWhy Teens Turn to 'Sadfishing' on Social Mediathat depressing posts can be a real cry for help or just a sincere request for support and "stroking". Especially when it comes to teenagers and young people.

Perhaps a person is lonely and perceives his online audience as real friends, or maybe he simply cannot cope with emotions and does not know who else to turn to. Or he is so upset that he acts impulsively and splashes out everything that is in his soul.

3. They're in a dopamine trap

Writing a post or making a video is quick and easy. And the effect, if a person has a large audience, will be almost instantaneous: tens, hundreds, sometimes thousands likes and comments. Yes, there will be offensive ones among them, but there will be plenty of encouraging ones too.

What does it look like? The classic dopamine loop we're all pulled intoDopamine, Smartphones & You: A battle for your time social network. Likes and comments are a very fast and very affordable pleasure, like a sweet bun, a computer game, a pleasant purchase. Our brain remembers that it feels good, and when we think about posting something new, it releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that triggers the anticipation of pleasure.

As a result, we post over and over again and sometimes become addicted to social media.

However, this mechanism is fraught with many dangers. For example, a person, instead of seeking psychological help, simply writes a post. Having received from the comments a portion of positive, he calms down for a while, but does not go to solve his problems. Because the next time he is "covered", he will again be able to resort to a proven tool - publishing on social networks.

4. They pursue selfish goals

Yes, and it can be. Sometimes sad posts are really a way to attract attention and be in the trend of new sincerity. Or even an attempt to gain views, subscribers, and hence money.

Why sad posts are controversial

It would seem that a person shares his problems and in a civilized society there is only one reaction to this - sympathy. But in reality it turns out differently. Someone writes words of support, and someone is perplexed: "Why do we need other people's problems?" And there are also those who can be sarcastic, say something nasty.

Readers and viewers who don't take such posts seriously can also be understood. On the one hand, we have been taught for many years that sadness and tears can only be shown to loved ones and psychotherapist. On the other hand, we have already learned that both bloggers and celebrities often try to cash in on us, manipulate our emotions in order to bind to themselves or force us to buy something.

As a result, many people are skeptical about depressive fasting and immediately suspect a catch.

Many celebrities and big names were accused of sadfishing bloggers. For example, model Kendall Jenner, who toldhow hard it was for her when she was battling acne. Or Justin Bieber when he shared a story about their mental problems.

There are also many such examples in runet. Blogger Lera Lyubarskaya lost her mother last year and postedLera Lyubarskaya: My mother died a very emotional video to your YouTube channel. And, in addition to sympathy, receivedSelfie magazine: Lera Lyubarskaya's mom died accusations of making a show and doing hype on the death of a loved one.

Another Russian blogger, Ekaterina Didenko, also suffered a lotHype and degradation. Why is the story of Instagram blogger Didenko scary? - for posting Stories right after the tragic death of her husband and two friends. Only baiting and accusations of wrong grief this time were picked up even by major mass media and federal TV channels.

How to respond to sad posts on social media

We cannot get into the head of others and say for sure how they feel. And even if the publication looks feigned and resembles an attempt to attract attention to yourself and "scratch" your ego, a person can be really bad.

And neglect, sarcasm, or doubts about his sincerity can make the situation worse.

Therefore, the best tactic is probably the "support or pass by" approach. If other people's problems cause you a response, if you want to say something good, somehow help, share advice or by your own experience - do it. If the post only provokes anger, sarcasm and bewilderment, it is better to just remain silent and close this post. After all, no one forces us to read what we do not like.