8 false attitudes that keep you in an unhappy relationship
Relations / / December 28, 2020
1. A person must have a pair
When we are alone, it seems to us that everyone is walking around in twos, like lovebirds. That all families, children, weddings, joint trips and cute photos on Instagram. And in general, a person after a certain age is supposed to be in a relationship, this is as important an attribute as education and work, for example. And if you are single, then something is definitely wrong with you.
79% of Russians surveyed believeHappiness in marriage and without: what happens to the institution of the familythat marriage is needed just not to be left alone. 60% are sure that getting married is worth having children. In other words, people still make alliances simply because it is so customary, and remain in a relationship "for show."
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2. Everyone will know that I'm a loser
To break off a relationship means to show that you did not succeed here. Many perceive such a step as an admission of failure and even their own inferiority.
The modern world has taught us that we should always be joyful, successful and happy.
So, you need to smile, portray happiness in every possible way and post joyful photos in which you, holding hands, jump into the azure sea or feed each other with strawberries. Even if the soul is very hard.
3. I will be sorry
After a break, a person will inevitably fall from all sides tactless questionssome will start to look at him with compassion. At every family feast they will sigh, ask why he is alone again and when to wait for the wedding and grandchildren.
This is actually an ordeal. And many prefer to maintain a relationship that causes nothing but disappointment, just not to tolerate all these pitiful looks and questions.
This is confirmed by statistics. According to the surveyAttitudes towards marriage and divorce: monitoring VTsIOM, 10% of Russians keep from divorce condemnation of friends and relatives.
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4. Nothing terrible happens, everyone lives like this
It seems to manyAttitudes towards marriage and divorce: monitoringthat for a breakup very serious reasons are needed: betrayal, domestic violence, alcoholism of one of the partners, poverty, some deep differences in mentality.
And if nothing terrible happens, there is no need to think about leaving your partner. Even if there is a quarrel at home after a day, there is no warmth in the relationship for a long time (or maybe there was no) and both feel unhappy.
This is how everyone lives: neighbors from above, and their own parents, and even star couples.
Well, they swear, they hate each other - but it's a matter of everyday life. You can be patient.
5. There are no happy relationships at all
That is, there are, but only on the pages of books or on the screens of cinemas. Behind any "happily ever after" is a harsh life, quarrels, misunderstandings, betrayal and other troubles. Those who say that everything is good and harmonious with them are simply lying.
And that means there is no point in breaking up an unsuccessful marriage: I will either end up in the same way, or I will search all my life for a mythical happy relationship that does not really exist.
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6. We've been together for so long
And it's not even about jointly acquired apartments, cars and other material goods, but about the fact that people often feel sorry for shared memories, impressions, happy moments, local stories and jokes. It seems that if you break off the relationship, all the good that was between them will automatically depreciate. And what if it was good before, but now it has become bad, then you need to endure for the sake of this common happy past.
But this is absolutely not the case. Bright moments will not disappear anywhere either from photo albums or from your memory. But dislike, scandals, abuse and betrayal can destroy any joyful memories.
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7. It's hard to get used to a new person
βWe have already got used to each other, we know each other well. If we disperse, I'll have to look for someone else and get used to it again. And this is difficult. " Indeed, the older we get, the more difficult it is for us to make new acquaintances, to get closer to unfamiliar person, let him into your life, accept and love him with all the virtues and disadvantages.
But by remaining in an unhappy relationship, we risk not only good mood and self-confidence, but also health - mental and physical.
Research showsResearch Shows Bad Relationships Can Also Mean Bad Healththat troubled relationships are associated with depression, anxiety, insomnia, and an even higher risk of developing cardiovascular disease. And this is much scarier than being alone for a while or rubbing against a new partner.
8. Breaking up is long and difficult
8% of Russians keepAttitudes towards marriage and divorce: monitoring in marriage, only the complexity of divorce. It seems that this is a monstrous bureaucratic procedure: you need to go through the authorities, collect papers, explain something to strangers and indifferent people. And even if the marriage was not concluded officially, it may not be so easy to break it either: it will be necessary, for example, to transport things, look for new housing, share property, cats, and possibly children. No, it's better to let everything remain as it is.
But if this is really the only reason, itβs easier to find an apartment, transport things and talk to officials from the registry office than make yourself and your partner unhappy for many years.
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