In our society we accepted that you have to suffer, and even just to survive, to succeed. "It's a trap, - says business coach Verres Katia (Katia Verresen). - You'll never build a billion-dollar business, if you are in the life of a black stripe. Success comes in the happiest days of your life. Your job is 100% dependent on your attitude. "
An experienced business coach helps both novice entrepreneurs with the founding startups and experienced managers. Among her clients' executives from companies such as Facebook, Airbnb, Twitter.
The ideal attitude - what it calls "broad thinking". It is a mental setting that opens your creativity, allows to achieve their vision and helps to improve their lives every day.
When Verres for the first time to meet with clients, they are in "reactive" mode. As an actor in the film, they play their life without knowing the scenario and prospects. Her goal - to seat them in the director's chair, to help them see the choice, prospects and opportunities to rewrite and improve your script as you go.
And broad thinking allows it. Below we will look at the concept of broader thinking on real examples, will offer real tactics that can apply each to feel more energetic, to expand their view of the world and to achieve its vision success.
Power over him
Earlier, in his work with clients Verres doing inspections lean and broad thinking. The purpose of this procedure is to identify and separate the feelings and thoughts characteristic of the man in a state of lean thinking, the experience that we are experiencing to think broadly.
This helped them to note the major differences between these states in real life. Thus, they can deliberately choose a more constructive attitude towards the world.
|lean thinking||broad thinking|
|Point of view||You or the victim, or put down others, or simply do not know who you are.||You are in a leading position.|
|physical energy||You clamped body, lowered shoulders, clenched jaw, fast breathing.||You are relaxed and collected at the same time, you control yourself and keep your balance. Breath deep and measured.|
|emotional energy||You feel frustration, lack of interest, anxiety, fear, anger and helplessness. Convey the decision-making group and gives in to pressure.||You feel involved, full of energy, positive. Charge and inspire others. Do you welcome change.|
|mental energy||Are you confused, disorganized, narrow minded, concentrate on what is not working. A typical way of thinking: "I have no choice."||Feel clear, you can look at the situation from different sides, listening with interest and notice that eludes other. Know how to adapt. A typical way of thinking: "Do I have a choice. If I should have noticed something new, what would it be? "Creative thinking," Look beginner. "|
You can use the self-diagnostics to feel how different the state of thinking. But how to move to a broad thinking, if you're feeling and thought poorly?
Verres has long worked hard to help people make the transition. And here are six tools that should be used.
1. ability to see
Broad thinking - it's your ability to notice more. More opportunities, more choices, more resources.
It all starts with the fact that the need to notice. You will never be whole stories. If you are in a meeting, there are so many different realities, how many people in the room. There is always another way to look at things.
The problem is that we are not biologically adapted to this.
In 1999, Harvard University published a popular now a study in which participants were shown a video where a small basketball team pass the ball in a circle. Participants were asked to count the number of times to pass the ball. Pretty simple, is not it?
After viewing, when the subjects were asked whether they had not noticed anything unusual, more than half of the participants had no idea what the researchers say. They have missed the fact that the video went around the court a man in a gorilla suit. Most subjects did not notice it, because their brains erased the information.
How does this compare with the work-life balance? When you are too focused on the task or idea, you miss a lot of what is happening around. It's just biology. You are not crazy or stupid. just our the brain is designed soTo ignore the fact that we look at now and what we believe.
For example, if you believe that "it is impossible" and "I can not do this", nothing to talk sense into you.
It also illustrates how the public opinion, and you need a lot of energy to resist it. You may find yourself consuming alternative routes, resources, anything that can help you, because it is not consistent with the public foundations.
What you will find, if you change the automatic adjustment of the brain? Creativity and competitive advantage.
When you devote time and energy to ensure that the notice, new doors open in front of you. Growing intuition, you feel that the universe is helping you. But in fact, you just do not limit yourself.
You can cultivate the broad thinking and awareness. Just as the habit to exercise or eat right, you can develop the habit notice, if you train hard.
Ask yourself these questions with an open answer, when you feel that you are in-bound state of mind. Rely on your mind - it will use the information you have not taken before.
Below are a few questions that were designed to restore this information and change your map of reality.
- If I have experienced this situation in a different way, no matter what I noticed?
- What options do I have in this situation? Note that the question is not, do you have any other options, they are by default.
- If I had to find something useful in this situation, what would it be?
- If this seemingly impossible task was doable, what would be my next step?
- What goes right in this situation?
- I would like to know what it is -... (there should be an action which, as it seems to you, it is impossible).
- What are the resources that I had not noticed until now, I can use?
Ability to notice also depends on the ability to destroy the existing limitations in which you believe, including your own knowledge.
If you come to a neutral situation, you are much more likely to notice that earlier escaped from your sight.
2. neutral attitude
Someone calls it "look newbie", but the concept goes beyond the banal ignorance in the matter. Be neutral - it means to perceive the judgments and assumptions, not narrowing their view no restrictions.
For several years, Verres was one of the coaches of the most popular courses from Stanford Graduate School of Business. The program was called "The Path of force", and it emphasized the importance of neutrality.
The world is not fair or unfair. He just is. If you can reject the value judgments, you will become stronger.
Ask yourself: "If I were neutral on this issue, would make any difference? If I did not know anything about it, just now found myself in this situation, what would I see? "
Neutrality helps get rid of blind optimism and pessimism and to establish the right attitude to what is really there.
Very often Verres I heard from the leaders of the different companies that they can not hire employees. There is no one who would be good enough. That everything is hopeless. And suddenly, after the practice of neutral thinking and the rejection of a clear vision of the "ideal worker", it turned out that the right person was always there.
Neutrality helps to realize that reality - it is chaos and no one thing will not be true for everyone. Companies and teams are composed of many different points of view, conflicts, opinions and votes. Best leader - is the one who agrees that they both are right, and not he alone.
"If there are different opinions about a decision or you decide at a general meeting, what to do, write down everything that will tell everyone in the room - suggests Verres. - Maybe eight people will say "yes", and the two will say "no." When you write down all the opinions on the board, you show that you decide to look back on ideas, not on the people who offered them. And everyone can see that the opinions that were in the minority, are respected and considered along with the rest. "
When you consider all the views, you will always pay the price. There are people who want to challenge the decision or delay the process.
Refueling - is any activity that increases your emotional and mental energy. Get enough sleep, eat well and exercise - only part of the dressing, an important but not the only one. You can "fill up", just five minutes looking at your favorite photo. And it will make you happy.
"I train people to manage large companies, and they choose for themselves" power board "- a set photos, suggestive of vivid experiences (ideally, past victories) that provide them mental rest. This holiday helps them to direct energy in the right direction - says Verres. - It seems unlikely or far-fetched, but sometimes you do not even need to believe in the magic to make it work. "
UNITY - it's a very important thing, especially in the morning, and at any time when you feel that you go back to lean thinking. When you feel awkward, and the heart beats more often. Filling allows you to decide which version of yourself you want to be.
"Your body is always first finds out what's going on, so use it - advises Verres. - Then select the tool that will help you right now. "
Here are some tools that work best.
- Humor. Read or watch something that makes you laugh (there are scientifically proven link between humor and creativity).
- Memories. This is where the useful "power of the board." Do you have pictures of happy moments or the people you love? This can be a big win - something that seemed impossible was done. Anything that leads you in a cheerful mood and reminds you that you value.
- Music. Tracks that trigger positive associations. Listen to them when you feel sad.
- Traffic. Stand up. Walk. Sitting in one position, you lose energy and spoil the mood.
- for extroverts: Find a friend to help you look at the situation from the other side. Communicate in the company to feel the joy and support.
- for introverts: Find a quiet room to get away from the noise. Breathe and enjoy the silence.
These tools will be useful to you during the day. At 11 and 16 hours, as a rule, there are power ups, and these methods can help you recharge. In principle, at any time, when you feel stress, vulnerability, sadness, filled with positive emotions.
Just get to a quiet meeting room, listen to music, look at photos, created for such purposes. You need time to get away from what you have just done.
Understand that the feeling of exhaustion and hopelessness among the day - not your fault. It will pass. Defeat their isolation on the problems and concentrate on the next task.
Stability - is the ability to calm oneself. This process has three phases. Verres uses the framework proposed in the work of Kristin Neff (Kristin Neff), a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin.
First, recognize that the situation is painful experience or that you are suffering and struggling. Maybe you're burned out, everything goes wrong as you want, or you've just got some bad news. Feel the discomfort of the moment and do not try to hide it. According to the Neff, just realizing your emotions, you are beginning to calm down.
Second, realize that this pain - a common human experience. Life is full of fear and failure. Bad things happen to the best of us, and no one is alone in their experiences. "Someone definitely had the same sooner or experiencing it right now - says Verres. - When we feel bad, as if we are isolated from others. We need to reconnect to the community to start the recovery. "
Third, determine what actions are required from you to feel better now. That you can give yourself to feel at least a little relief? Maybe leave the room, sleep, work out? Play with the pet. Cycling. Do something for yourself - something that will return you the strength, will make you feel better.
Studies have shown that complacency is due to courage. For example, researchers have observed the war veterans who have returned from Afghanistan, and found that the incidence of post-traumatic stress disorders were not associated with the duration and seriousness of the fighting, in which they participated, and their ability to complacency.
Quickly go through all these phases - this is the only way to keep a broad mind in the most stressful and tense emotional situations.
Verres recommends to arrange few sessions complacency during the day. It takes less than three minutes and gives you a huge advantage in the form of emotional flexibility and stability.
This is especially important if you are laid out in full fight for something, to perform tasks in a high-speed mode, and you need to keep in touch with his team.
Find what you are willing to give. Studies have shown that most of the strong and happy people are the focus of a wide network of constantly helping its participants. That's what creates your community - be generous in that they are ready to give. Whether it is useful connections, technical skills or simply the ability to listen.
Too many people think that they have nothing to offer, whereas in fact they have a lot of things: attention, kindness, knowledge and access to resources.
Verres also recommends creating a "community impact" of friends and colleagues who can do something for each other. Just 5-7 people, each of whom is working on something. So people can contact each other for ideas, for help in solving problems.
"Map thoughts of another person can help you out if you get stuck, - says Verres. - Remember that the people you least know are more likely to tell you something new or to change your world. "
Each person can tell you what he needs help, and then should be to set a timer for 7 minutes, during which you arrange a brainstorming session to find a solution of his problem. Write down every solution proposed in the brainstorming. It will take into account all the ideas and concrete results. The only requirement in this practice - generosity and understanding that there are no bad ideas.
When you create a community of people who support you, you have a community that will always support you.
You should always look for fresh ideas and perspectives outside their own working teams. Look for someone who will remove your blind spot and will indicate the omission.
Find people who want to develop the same skills in the same direction, but work in another company, or even in a different industry. These are people who are more likely to point you to new opportunities.
It also helps you to find mentors, including experts from outside your area. They can open up many new opportunities for you. The fact that you think the winding mountain path, those who have already been through it, it seems to direct the well-trodden path.
Financial consultant Larry Moore (Larry Mohr), co-founder of Mohr Davidow Ventures, Verres once said: "Forest fire - this is normal and good. Panic does not help. Just be ready, because after a forest fire is always a lot of new shoots. "
And he was right: a lot of new companies such as Twitter and Facebook, marked the birth of a new era of social media. Verres used his confidence to survive difficult times.
One form of generosity - thanks. It sounds simple, but it is important for the people around you. "I see so many people who are beginning to work more diligently, because their boss told them:" Good job "", - says Verres.
To the recognition to be effective, you need to make it public and specific. Do not recall the person aside and tell him: "You are wonderful." Should speak clearly and specifically about some of the actions or projects, to improve the performance of the team or individual.
Studies show that in the most highly effective team people hold the following rule: one constructive criticism should fall seven positive reviews.
Thanks works wonders. Many studies have proved that practice gratitude can "reset" the brain and at the same time has a lasting effect.
But what exactly is this practice?
Spend 5 minutes a day to, in order to concentrate on the good things that are happening right now. Mark this time in your calendar and do not miss it. You can use gratitude, when you feel fatigue. This practice is very refreshing.
Also do not forget about their achievements. Reminding yourself of them, you are much better start believing in their capabilities and set more significant objectives.
When you allot time for it to feel gratitude for their victory, you train your brain to overcome stress and always be open to alternatives.
If you're used to feel gratitude, you do not miss the little chances and opportunities.
You can do thanks to the everyday ritual. Verres recommends that every day, week and month to remember that you have created something to be proud and grateful for that. It is best to write it down in my diary.
Do this at the end of each day. Do this on a Sunday evening - write, for which thanks this week to mark the most important and positive developments. Do this on the last day of each month. Do this until you do not have a filtered list of three things that really matter to you.
The more you write, the more will increase your energy. Also try to do what Verres offers its customers:
- Write down what you are grateful for in your life.
- Record, for which you are grateful to other people.
- Immediately send them by email or call them to a meeting.
This habit is able to change the company culture itself. And it takes only a few minutes at the end of the day.
The habit to think big
Sequence creates confidence and speed. When you do something consistently, you are working for the long term.
Thus, when a fire in the room runs man starts shouting to each threw his business and began to tackle this problem now, you do not lose sight of its ultimate goal. You create an internal structure that does not allow your team to go astray.
Every leader wants to see himself as a strong, open and inspiring, and not the person who only criticizes, controls and thinks he is the smartest in the room.
But the only way to become such a leader - practicing techniques given above, and make them a habit.
At any time, during every interaction with other people you have the freedom to choose who you want to be. A good leader - one who knows that there is no situation that would have compelled him to act in a certain way. And it gives him freedom.
When you start to think big - to notice more and more to share what you know - everyone on your team understands, in what direction you are moving. Your employees will follow your model and incorporate more information and opinions in the decision-making process. And there are not strictly judge yourself and be afraid to offer the wrong solutions.
When you create something new, you are bound to work for 11 hours a day and constantly to solve some urgent problems. In such a situation it is easy to say the team: "Keep working, take some rest when we finish." It is very easy to forget about everything that is said above, considering that you just do not have time for this.
But it is precisely at such moments you need it most. Each tool, described above, requires no more than 5 minutes and allow you to show the best that you can, as this is the only way to make your team better. The most important time you can not settle for anything less.
There are moments that remind you why you started it all. Every major event, crisis or even a fire - this is your test. This is a time when you need all the methods that can support your productivity at the highest level.
Always remember why this work is so much for you, and proceed from this.