How to answer uncomfortable questions for dismissal from a prestigious job
Work And Study / / December 25, 2019
Larisa Inozemtsev
Former top manager 25-year experience. "Coolant" project co-founder. Running a half marathon, dancing flamenco, inspires people to change for the better. I profile on Facebook.
Change your life 180 degrees - is not easy. Withdraw from the corporation to the corporation, to start a business, close it - all these decisions that we have to make. Despite the fact that the personal situation, each is different, there are common things that are helpful to know before they happen to you.
I have worked in the enterprise for 25 years. And gone. I have friends and acquaintances who have undergone, or are this way. Some successful, some not so. 10 questions developed from observations of them and personal experience, which you will have to answer when you decide to change your life. And after each response will need to make a number of more action, so as not to regret what was done. Use this cheat sheet.
Some questions you will ask the people around you: family, friends and former colleagues. And some of you will ask themselves.
1. How did you come out?
Someone asks. Everything from loved ones and ending with former colleagues. The question can be very painful: you are so worried and such comments add fuel to the fire.
What to say. Meanwhile, someone you can trust, it is better to tell the truth, because then you turn to him for support and help. For example: "I have long been blown, there is nothing I did not shine." Those who do not really trust, saying vaguely: "It is time to move forward, I want to try a new".
What to do. To have a notebook in which one or two months to write all my thoughts about the incident. It will be a kind of diary. If you know what Free writing, Practice it a month or two. This will reduce the severity of the problem, and anxiety decrease.
2. What are you going to live?
Someone asks. Everything. And first of all you do. And then - a family (especially if you're the breadwinner in the family), friends, acquaintances and even former colleagues, who are not concerned at all.
What to say. Meanwhile, someone you can trust or who depends on you (parents and minor children, spouse), respond as it is: "We (I) have so much money, and we them will be enough to live on so much months. " And everything else, including friends, acquaintances, former colleagues, and other inquisitive fellow, just smiled sweetly. Money does not like to talk.
What to do. Not shelving them, conduct an audit of your personal or family budget.
Find out how make your mandatory expenses (rent, apartment rental, petrol or ticket, telephone, Internet, kindergarten or school, as well as a loan or mortgage, if you have them there is).
Go to the bank and find out whether it is possible to structure a loan or a mortgage - just in case. Pay forward for 2-3 months rent an apartment, because cases eviction - a frequent phenomenon.
Calculate current expenses (food, clothing and shoes, entertainment), delete unnecessary purchases and determine what level of expenditure will be for you the maximum for a certain period.
You are surprised to find that some of the costs to serve your chronic stress.
After another scolding you went to the store to buy, not only do the right thing, and just to calm down. Keep this in mind when going to the mall. After the first stage of concern about the incident is still very large, and can literally push you to unnecessary purchases. Eliminate as spontaneous shopping: alas, it is harmful and ineffective pill from anxiety. Action it will end as soon as you get home.
Yes, some time will have to plan for all purchases. It turns out that most of us can reduce your costs, and unexpected ways airbag that will help you survive the first time.
3. Where have you gone?
Someone asks. This question is usually scary, but in reality it will be asked not to so many people. Basically it will be friends and former colleagues, because your family is likely aware of this situation: Have you gone nowhere or have clear plans for the organization of life.
What to say. Answer all the same: "There are another couple of proposals now choose." This is almost true. If you decide to return to the Corporation, will sooner or later find a job themselves. If you decide to set up your own business, it will take a few tries before you find your niche. No need to worry about others in vain.
What to do. This is a topic for another article, but as a useful first step to write yourself 2-3 areas that interest you, where you would like to work.
4. What will you do now?
Someone asks. Everything. And close too, because they are afraid to lose their former prosperity, because their view of the world in which you were earner, collapsed. Looking at the way you're sitting at the computer or stay in the gloom, they will be even more upset. Former colleagues actually do not care, but they will ask this question out of curiosity or passive aggression.
What to say. Answer common phrase "actively looking for a new direction, I need time." For a time, all really calm down, and then forget about you.
What to do. Answer the questions: "Why are these areas are interesting to me?", "What I am able to, what skills have?". Honest answers himself enough to begin to move forward.
5. From wait for help?
Someone asks. You. During the crisis, we are very vulnerable (and leaving work or dismissal, of course, severe crisis).
What to say. The only honest answer, which you then will not be disappointed, it sounds tough, "only from himself."
This does not mean that you will be one, but it means that you are entirely responsible for your life.
What to do. You may well be expected to rely on those who have been with you in the next quiet time: on family, friends. Not worth it. They experience the same fears as you, or even more, because you have ceased to be a bulwark of reliability and stability. Do not hang waiting on your loved ones. But be sure to tell them that their help and support will be for you very valuable. When you admit that you are afraid and want to share with someone their feelings, usually comes the very help that is needed.
6. And you have traded a job in a good company on this ?!
Someone asks. Friends and former colleagues. Psychologists classify such questions as a sign of passive aggression. People who ask them, you feel mixed feelings. At best, they are jealous of you, and at worst - will substitute or turn away.
What to say. "It's my choice, let's talk a year or two." Or not respond at all.
What to do. Cease to communicate with these people. All or for some time. While you are in a crisis, they will not assistants. Look for others, those who will believe in you and would not pull back.
7. As you no office coffee and corporate events?
Someone asks. Former colleagues. They are in this situation and measures the life in a familiar frame of reference.
What to say. Depending on the sense of humor of the interlocutor or jokes, or say that they expect from the invitations. Well, do not miss you in fact on of the coffee machine and gratuitous habits?
What to do. Cook good coffee at home or give it up altogether. View pictures from the corporate parties in social networks and to remember how it was before. Certainly I did not like always. In the same way there now.
8. What do you do?
Someone asks. Anyone with whom you happen to speak.
What to say. The main thing - do not hesitate and do not make excuses. See item 9: interlocutor does not know about your situation, it is simply interested in the sphere of your activity, as is customary. Can you think of any streamlined phrase: "I work in the field of real estate", "I am engaged in different projects in the field of advertising," and so on.
What to do. Search for your niche.
9. Can your business card?
Someone asks. All the people you meet on the external events: concerts, conferences, training and so on. This simple question can be very painful for you. And so you are under stress because of job lossAnd strangers you about it, as if on purpose, ask. Enough to realize that outsiders do not know anything about your situation, and you calm down.
What to say. As a new business card is not present, it should be done. What to write on it - read on. But if you are not prepared, the easiest answer: "I, unfortunately, today with a small not, but I'll gladly take yours and I'll send your contacts tonight." Needless to say, that in the evening it is necessary to write the person from whom you have a business card.
What to do. In any printing for 200-300 rubles today you can make a card. Business card - is not only your position, it is first of all contacts. But only. We can not allow the lack of expansion cards hindered your contacts. Therefore, if you do not yet know what are going to do, place on it the basic information - name, name, phone, email, Skype and so on - and briefly describe yourself, such as "designer", "project manager" "Freelancer". And later, when it is determined from its niche, a small easy to change.
10. How long it will be going on?
Someone asks. You yourself and loved ones. Because they and you are experiencing range of different feelings, mostly negative.
What to say. The most honest answer to yourself is: "I do not know." Each of us is different, and every situation is different ability to withstand stress. But this answer relatives survive with difficulty. They do not want the truth, and consolation. Therefore, it is possible to answer this way: "I think 3-4 months everything to normal." Be warned: this answer is a half-truth. To meet this deadline, you will have to show incredible tenacity. Chances are, your quest will take 6-8 months, so it is better to be mentally prepared. But as long as you buy yourself a break at the cost of these simple answers.
What to do. DO. All that is described in this article. You will succeed.