6 good reasons to abandon perfectionism

Tal Ben-Shahar 20 years studying perfectionism. He discovered that there were two of its kind - positive and negative. First he called optimalizmom, the second - the traditional perfectionism.

perfectionists deny everything that disagrees with their ideas, and then suffer when you do not meet their unrealistic standards. Optimalist accept life as it is, and benefit from all that has happened to them. Under equal conditions, the more successful will be the second. And that's why.

1. Choosing the way

A straight line - the perfect way to goal for the perfectionist. Each turn aside (failure) - a failure to him. for Optimalist failure - an inevitable part of the way. His path to the goal always has a few twists.

2. Learning from mistakes

The main feature of perfectionists - fear of failure, they are trying to avoid falls and mistakes. But mistakes are helping people to check yourself for strength. When we go on the risk falls and rises again - we become stronger. Based on the experience we are developing, in which we no longer help to defeat, not success.

Failure does not promise success, but the lack of failure always means and lack of success.

Those who understand that failure is always associated with success, learn from their mistakes, develop and succeed in the end.

3. Low self-esteem

Perfectionist itself creates an environment in which it is impossible to live a normal self-esteemHe constantly criticizes himself drew attention only on their shortcomings and does not appreciate what has already achieved. In addition, the tendency to idealize and maximalist mindset makes perfectionists inflate obstacles encountered before the crash sizes. Under such conditions, low self-assured.

Paradoxically, psychologists have found that self-esteem of man grows when faced with setbacks, because it recognizes: defeat is not as bad as it seemed. Perfectionists avoid testing for fear of failure, and it's like to inspire yourself the idea that you are not able to cope with difficulties.

4. Maximum effectiveness

Psychologists John Dodson and Robert Yerkes have shown that a person can achieve the best results when it is in a state between apathy and anxiety. Such a degree of excitement at work experience just Optimalist through the adoption of failure as a natural part of life on the one hand, and the struggle for the success of the other.

5. Getting pleasure from the way

Perfectionist strives for a perfect result. Initially, his intentions are strong and he works tirelessly, and in the end comes quickly to fatigue, which can become unbearable if the process does not bring pleasure.

Way nicer Optimalist: he takes pleasure in his way and remains thus focused on the goal. His road to success is not a straight line, but it is for this and does not seek - he fights, doubts loses and sometimes suffer, but eventually succeeds.

6. Efficient use of time

Work must be done perfectly, or it is not worth doing at all - perfectionism perfectionist leads them to an inefficient use of time. Perfect execution (if it is at all feasible) demands huge efforts, which are not always justified with regard to certain tasks.

Since the time - our most valuable resource, perfectionism comes at a price.

Thousands of hours perfectionists spend on tasks that do not really require ideal.

Optimalist suited to this wise: where the task is really important, they spend it as much time as perfectionists. But more often the problem is enough to perform well, but not perfectly.

The transformation of a perfectionist in Optimalist - life-long project. It is a journey that requires a lot of patience, time and effort. Anyone who committed it can change your life for the better.

Based on the book "The paradox of a perfectionist»

see also

• Why creativity and perfectionism - are incompatible →
• How to get rid of perfectionism and stop stagnate →
• 8 ways to overcome your perfectionism →