Why we are unhappy and how to change it

High expectations

We live in a world where the emotional rewards tied to material values. But people do not dream about themselves luxuries or money but about the attention and respect (or even love), which are given to those who possess these items.

Added to this, our high expectations. Parents of a child tells us that we can be anyone, if we just try. They constantly tell us that we are special. But growing up, we did not feel so, but our expectations are often not met. This is one reason why we go unhappy.

Too many choices

It would seem, should be happy that in today's world so many opportunities. But then we still do not will succeed, Even though a lot of money spent on education, and my mother said that we can become what we want?

To answer these questions, it is necessary to look into the books department of self-help in any bookstore. Most likely, one half of the book will be called something like "How to be Successful in 15 minutes" or "get rich quick", and the other - "How to deal with low self-esteem." These two issues are closely linked.

A society that tells people that anyone can achieve anything when in fact only a few achieve success, creates dissatisfaction and disappointment.

society device

Perhaps one of the first questions we hear when meeting with someone, "What are you doing?". And how much we spend nerves, answering it. After hearing the answer, the source for the fraction of a second makes the decision whether or not to get acquainted with us closer.

Society generally arranged unfair. Just before we even knew about it: not your fault that you were born a peasant, and not your merit, unless you were born rich.

But now we are told that our society is arranged according to the principle of meritocracy: the reward given to those who deserve it - smart and stubborn. No matter how inspiring these words may seem, they make us even more miserable. For if we believe that success at the top who deserve their position, so those who are at the bottom, too, receive their just deserts. Meritocracy makes poverty seem not only unpleasant, but also to some extent deserved.

Therefore, it appears that when someone asks, "What are you doing?", He is not interested in what you are doing during the day. In fact, he asked: "Are you a winner or a loser?".

How to be happy

1. Stop believing in meritocracy. Luck and chance determine largely our success.

2. Find your own definition of success, and do not rely on the idea that society imposes. You can succeed in completely different ways.

Most often, success has nothing to do with status and income, although it is now because it and understand it.

Of course, money can be one of the components of success, but not the only one.

3. Do not let your self-esteem depend entirely on your external achievements. This does not mean that absolutely can not aspire to prosperity. Simply, there are many advantages that can not fall in response to a brusque question: "What are you doing?". You should not forget about them.

4. Most importantly - find a job that brings satisfaction.

How to find a job that brings satisfaction

It is interesting that the very idea that work can bring satisfaction, not only serve as a source of income, there was not so long ago. Previously, people did not have such a requirement. Now, we not only want their hard-earned money, but also to fulfill your potential with it.

In the era of pre-industrial societies existed at most 2000 different professions. Now there are about half a million. Naturally, we are so afraid of making the wrong choice, which often do not choose anything, and fall into a stupor. Psychologists call this the paradox of choice.

What to do? Recognize that confusion and fear - it is a natural reaction, but do not always allow them to influence you.

1. To begin, write down everything that you love to do. Messing around in the garden, cook, watch TV - everything. About money did not think it just spoil everything. Once you have compiled a list, you will have an idea of ​​their ideal future. Of course, it is very vague and require thorough analysis.

2. Therefore, the second step - to think well. Sometimes it may take a week out to choose a new car, so to choose the right career may need a year of constant reflection, and even more. Do not blame yourself for what you have spent on this so many times. You may have to spend the whole weekend in a few months.

3. When you have considered everything carefully, it's time to act. Gather information on your list, for example through internships or volunteering. No need to immediately quit the old job. Just do something to find out more about your chosen field.

4. Develop the confidence. Usually we think that only a select few people can be assured. It's not like that at all. Lack of confidence - a lack of understanding of how the world around us.

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The next time someone asks: "What are you doing?", Tell us what you like to do: run, listen to music, go for a drive on a skateboard, walk the dog, traveling, reading books... Or just say that did not bother you with such stupid issues.