How to please one and all? No way!

Chameleon. Conformist. Compromiser.

I have always tried to please people.

My friend even once called me the most non-controversial person in the world. And I was. I retreated at the slightest sign of conflict. First came to the world. I plead guilty, even if not to them.

But recently, there was an event that changed me.

I have learned that a man with whom I had the warmest relationship, hates me. And not just hates, but dismisses rumors about me terrible.

Here are a few of the brightest - "masterpieces":

• I stole from him the one thing he had lost (things cost ~ $ 100)
• I scratched his car
• I secretly entered his apartment

As you know, people simply can not imagine. Realized that I did, but, still, it was a shock for me.

Lesson

But, that's really, really, from any lemon can make lemonade, in the words of Dale Carnegie.

This trouble me kicked out of my comfort zone, out of my blind confidence in the fact that you can everyone likes. I realized that sometimes, even if be the Mother Teresa, can you not like a man.

Well, that's irrationality does not like and that's it. In spite of everything.

This new knowledge has served me very useful and even changed my life. For the better.

The higher you rise - the more enemies

Did someone will argue with that?

Fate decreed that I am now a lot of writing. Not surprisingly, I pay attention to popular authors and bloggers. Those who have made themselves. Self-Made.

Take any popular blogger or writer. And find among them conformist that anyone not "rock the boat". It does not run. Do not criticize. And everyone likes.

People are tired of formulaic articles that read like a press release. Texts, as if generated by a robot. Everyone wants to see the articles for a living person, with their opinion.

Not surprisingly, this view may not like some. Let them be only 2%. But of the 10,000 readers, this is 200 people.

Take, for example, the most popular blogger, LJ - Ilya Varlamov or the most popular author in the HL - glory Baransky. Their positions always cause sea of ​​comments and a lot of emotions.

But how biased criticism outright insults and even threats they receive each day? It is a tribute to their popularity.

Afraid not like it, then be afraid to express their opinion, to be afraid to talk about their ideas.

Please do not be afraid - so afraid to grow.

I do not like - what to do?

OK, well, I do not like someone. But this does not mean that I will experience some negativity towards this man.

If I write a negative comment, and even inadequate, my reaction - a polite "ignore". I'm not going to conflict, I do not give in to trolling. It is unproductive.

I say to myself: "Maybe he just buhoy? Or has a dog hit by a car? "

Yes there may be few reasons, which I can only guess. But I guess I'm not going. I find it easier to develop a template response - a polite "ignore".

I like to put the point in the sentence "I do not like that person, but that's okay." Everything. Dot. To live on.

It's funny that such a polite attitude is often the result reassures criticism. In addition, it has a positive effect on your image in the eyes of other readers (colleagues, students, etc.). What can be more disgusting than to see how the author quarrel in the comments?

As this realization changed my life?

The first thing I discovered my face in the network.

Previously, I wrote the article under a pseudonym and stupid avatar.

Why do I hide myself? I was terribly uncomfortable even at the thought that my article, my thoughts will see everything. My friends, my family, my colleagues. And what if they do not like? What if they find me an upstart? And sometimes I make mistakes, sometimes I write blatant nonsense. How is it to be?

The realization that it is impossible to please everyone, solved this problem.

Now I write under his own name and surname. I do not hide your photos.

And you know - nothing terrible happened. Solid pros. People are nicer to chat with a real person. My blog and my articles will only win.

Summarizing

Every day I see people who are just crazy about the idea that they can someone not like it. Especially it is typical, I'm sorry, girls.

People can not do, can not speak in front of an audience, can not meet with the pleasant man. And all because of the fear of not being liked.

Now, this is my last samoedstvo. I for myself have solved this problem. Well, decide))

Maybe my experience and will help you get rid of excessive introspection.

Write in the comments!

Did you like this post? Not? Well, to hell with you! ))