The only way to succeed - to come to terms with the refusal
A Life Inspiration / / December 19, 2019
Nobody wants to be rejected. To take risks, try to get in the end be rejected. But if you want to succeed in any area of life, we must accept the possibility that you refused.
You have no choice: either you take any chance, without fear of failure, or live in full confidence that never realized their dreams.
You lose 100% chance that do not use.
For writers failures norm rather than something exceptional. For example, JK Rowling (Joanne Rowling) has published on Twitter two letters failures that it has received in response to the manuscript, signed by the name of Robert Galbraith (Robert Galbraith).
Best-selling author Joanne Harris (Joanne Harris) says: "I have received so many rejections from publishing" Chocolate, "which made a sculpture of them."
And other well-known authors, including James Joyce (James Joyce), George Orwell (George Orwell) and John le Carré (John le Carré), experienced many failures before they finally published the book. And, despite the pain of rejection and the subsequent rewriting of rejected manuscripts, the result of their work was only better.
Why so painful
Why the refusal so upset us? In the end, the failure is almost never life threatening. The essence lies in our interdependence.
To people prospered, he needs company. In a period of growth and maturation of a person can not do without other people, if no one will take care of the child, to give him the love and attention, he will die. That is why it is so important to us approval, love and harmony in relationships with others. Sometimes for us it is a necessary condition for survival.
And the more you will depend on the approval and views of othersWho judge your work, the worse you will feel during a failure. This also explains why the refusal would hurt more if your job was personal - an expression of yourself or who you want to be.
Get a deuce for a school assignment on the unloved subject or reprimanded for poor performance on the task is unpleasant, but not painful. But when you put a part of himself into the project tried to do everything that was good, and really see what was good, but ultimately was refused, it hurts.
This is the first thing to understand about the negative emotions failure. If, instead of sink into depression and feel useless, you think about that, you might say, physiological dependence on society, it becomes easier.
But why stop there? Why not go further? Rather than accept failure as something bad - something to be avoided at all costs - why not make it work for you? In this case, the refusal to help you create something much better rejected creation. And that's how it can be done.
Learning from mistakes. As a failure helps to develop
Failure can get you to do something better. But you have to learn how to take it. Start with the fact that do not take rejection personally. Instead of asking yourself, "What's wrong with me?", Take a look at the rejected work.
Look closely. Maybe you'll see what she's missing? Or maybe, the way you choose to achieve your dream, it is not suitable for this purpose?
Artist Dalvud Dexter (Dexter Dalwood) said in his address to the students: "If you want your ideas to be successful, be prepared for failure. Frequent. They are included. "
Disclaimer - this is part of the production process and an integral part of art. A great example - career, James Dyson (James Dyson), the British inventor, which has given a modern hand dryers and a cyclonic vacuum cleaner G-Force.
Dyson believes failures very useful thing. His project for the establishment of a vacuum cleaner bagless survived 5127 modifications and countless failures from retailers.
After the launch of the latest invention, the hand dryer Airblade Tap, mounted in the mixer, James Dyson told the BBC: «dips - is the best medicine for as long as you continue to learn something. "
After experiencing a failure, you have something you recognize - exactly what help to failures. It pushes you to to do something again and make it better.
Andreas Eriksson (Andreas Eriksson), a professor at the University of Colorado, examined the habits of children learning to play the violin since the age of five until the age of majority. He discovered that a significant factor in determining the success was that the number of hours of practice the young violinist dedicated to music, how he wanted to improve his game.
Writer Malcolm Gladwell (Malcolm Gladwell) popularized the idea, which became known as the "rule of 10, 000 hours." This means that in order to succeed and reach the heights in the business, you will need about 10 000 hours of work, criticism and constructive response to it.
Some people, when faced with failure, wondering when they should stop trying. The answer - never. If you have a dream, something, what you believe and what you want to achieve, keep going to his goal.
Disclaimer - this does not mean that you have failed. This means that you tried. Do it again.