Do not teach me how to live, why we give in to another's influence and how to get rid of this habit

You do not throw the hated work, because it's kind of like the prestigious. Do not go away from the hateful guy or a girl, because friends and relatives think you are a good pair. Looks longingly at the mountain dumb clothes that you bought, trusting the advice of sellers, but does not wear, because she still stromnaya.

Stop for a second. You know, it's not your life. You do not so-so all were, right? Where and when you turned the wrong way, at some point decide that they are ready to become a man, which all hit, but did not understand what he wanted, really?

Why do we allow others to decide for us

Often the reason for this behavior lies in the bay. We are mortally afraid of incurring someone's disapproval and be subject to oblique views.

Oh my god! What will say Princess Mary Aleksevna!

BUT. FROM. Griboyedov "Woe from Wit"

If you do what you want, not someone else, there are always two versions of events. You can make a mistake and regret that did not listen to the opinions of others. Well, you learn from your mistakes, you now have a valuable experience, which will certainly come in handy in the future. But it may be such that you will be right.

For example, relatives vying advised the girl not to marry for gouging Vasya, but for Kohl, positive on all sides. She chose Vasya and happy, and Colin chosen one does not know where to hide from this boring, which inhumanly boring. Skeptics confounded.

Another common cause - blind faith in the authority of the interlocutor. Mama knows exactly the best, because it is my mother. Then it turns out an interesting situation: we voluntarily deprive themselves of freedom of choice, shifting the responsibility on someone else's shoulders. Rather, it seems to us that the decision was made by someone else. In fact, the last word always remains with us.

Allow others to decide what you do - pure masochism. Such behavior is often characteristic of people with low self-esteem.

Select the victim of circumstances and asking for universal compassion - a sure way to feel fit. Only to a happy life, this scenario has nothing to do.

Beach educated and too tactful people - unwillingness to offend his interlocutor refused. As a result, we have to settle for something that would not be desirable. Everybody is happy, but we are left alone with vague doubts: it seems that we have just used. Well, the way it is.

Wait, who ever said that you should always, and all to be nice? You are the same person, as well as those you about something asks, you have your goals, desires and aspirations. And they should be a priority. After all, if others do not hesitate to manipulate you, why you should be ashamed to refuse them?

How to unlearn to live with an eye on someone else's opinion

To start get what you really want from you. At the impact of dozens of masks, it is not only when a person takes the collar and forced to do something. Push to a certain behavior, you can use quite innocuous phrases. For example, colleagues admire your organizational skills, and you end up with exactly what you are responsible for all the office parties and raising money for gifts.

Every time you take a serious decision, think, do you want it or act in accordance with someone's will. Think carefully before you agree to the proposals of others, even if they seem very enticing. And be careful with promises - sooner or later you will have to comply with them.

Do not get fooled by provocation. A period when a person can take on the "weak", to end as early as elementary school.

You do not have to prove anything to anybody, not in front of you a task to impress others with their courage, capacity for work and other skills.

Even if you meet with resentment or outright rude, it is not your problem. These methods are usually resorted to when Arsenal reasonable arguments exhausted. When your opponent instead of a clear explanation of their position or starts yelling hits in tears, it is better just to end the conversation. There is an attempt to manipulate, and quite low standard.

Do not be afraid to speak the truth and speak openly about what you want. Constantly adjusting to the opinions of others, you give up your beliefs. Who is interested, for example, the opinion of the sofa? It is soft, comfortable, and most of it is nothing, and is not required. You do not want to look in the eyes of the detail of the interior - Stop trying to please everyone.

The path to freedom from foreign influence can not be called easy and enjoyable. You have to learn to say "no", you will encounter a lack of understanding and the very same offenses, which feared. Maybe even stop to talk with people that appreciate in you the proverbial reliability. To them and the road.

The truth is that our life - it's just our life, unique and unrepeatable. With all the setbacks, mistakes and nonsense that we do.

Second chance simply will not, will not start with a clean slate and to act so that everybody was satisfied.

The protagonist of the video below behaves exactly as it is not necessary. First, he listened to the advice of a friend of the offended, then amenable to the authority of the employee service centers, and eventually begins to doubt his own intellectual abilities. Our tips for sure would help him defend his case with greater confidence.