Why not love yourself with all faults

Us from childhood hammered the idea that you need to accept yourself for who you are. We dutifully listened to it, and grew to love yourself with all the disadvantages of which are now very difficult to get rid of. It turns out, so it was not worth doing.

Michael Puett (Michael Puett)

Professor of History at Harvard University. It specializes in the study of Oriental Languages ​​and Civilizations. His interests are focused on the relationship between anthropology, history, religion and philosophy.

About how important it is to love himself tirelessly told in the pages of countless self-help books and all, without exception, trainings on personal growth.

But Professor Michael Puett sure narcissism and condescending attitude to all its shortcomings do not exactly bring to the good, and even to some extent hurt. Puett, who recently published a book of his own about how Chinese philosophy can help us in everyday Life, believes that the ancients would have reacted extremely disapprove of today's general tendency to narcissism.

Draw parallels between serious philosophy and everyday life is quite interesting. For example, that the great thinkers think the desire of modern man to climb as high as possible on the ladder? Whether people are changing under the influence of circumstances? How philosophy can help in the search for true love? Whether to accept yourself for who you are, or need to still seek to change its nature and essence? By the way, what is the general nature of man?

There is a widespread opinion that the primary goal of any man - is to find his purpose in life, our true "I". This automatically means that the interests of the individual prevail over the public.

Michael Puett

Most of the Chinese philosophical tradition dating back to the notorious Confucius is based on completely opposite ideals. It is believed that a person must be a person, not for himself, but for the sake of serving the public. Personal life in this situation fades into the background. The human self and personality are perceived as something alien, as a product of some harmful effects, not as something important and worthy of attention.

From an early age we have formed certain behavioral templates. They gradually grow stronger and become what we mistakenly used to call individuality.

So, if we love ourselves regardless of the actions and accept myself with all faults, and features, we simply reinforce these patterns of behavior and cease to regard them as something abnormal.

All of these patterns - is a kind of behavior patterns. According to the teachings of Confucius and his followers, it was through these rituals of society, and kept afloat. Our whole life consists of them, and this is why all people so you need to abide by them.

Meanwhile, another Chinese philosopher Chuang Tzu sure there are positive and negative patterns of behavior: when a special request, we can vaccinate ourselves worthy habits and get rid of the harmful.

That is, if we suddenly find ourselves in a tendency to something unhealthy, we must learn to behave differently. But often it happens that we simply do not notice some of their shortcomings, and it is these insidious "invisible" and seek us on the sly.

Chinese thinkers believe that we need to constantly change something in their behavior. It does not matter what it is: a new greeting at a meeting or a fleeting smile in answer to someone's joke. When this has absolutely no value if you behave "better" than before. In this case, important is the process of change.

Try to slightly change the tone, try to look at familiar people a slightly different angle. When you do, you will very quickly become aware of the extent to which we are all encased within the scope of their prejudices and habitual behaviors.

Michael Puett

Although the major part of Chinese wisdom for more than two thousand years, we should not think that they eventually lost their relevance. Recent psychological studies have confirmed that people - slaves to their own habits. In this thesis, even built a whole new trend of psychology, which is known as cognitive studies and human activities related to the acquisition of new knowledge and experience.

We must not love yourself for shortcomings. Let's be honest with ourselves: we must try get rid what obviously pulls us down. The Bucs are not - do anything to be constantly changing. And listen to the Chinese philosophy. They obviously about something imagined.