Why do we lie and how to fight it

We all vrom, with sometimes do not even notice it for themselves. What is it: the instinctive desire to hurt another person, or the need to show themselves in a good light?

What kinds of lies

• omission: unsaid, the desire to conceal the truth, or some details.
• Negation: unwillingness to recognize the truth.
• Self-deception: samoubezhdenie that false information is actually true.
• Substitution of concepts: providing false information or a false interpretation of the distortion of the facts.
• Exaggeration / understatement: disparity information is valid.
• Gray lie: lie in accordance with their interests.
• White lies (for the benefit of a lie): desire to protect someone from the cruel truth or pick someone up.
• Black false: a deliberate lie, from which only gets worse as the others, and himself a liar.

Why do we vrom

The reasons why we vrom, can be a huge amount. After all, people - it is infinitely complex psychological system. However, knowledge of the types of lies may open up this mystery and help understand the motivations and the true intentions of the liar.

protect others

We vrom if do not want to hurt the feelings of someone close to us. Sometimes we have to shoot down other confusing to keep a secret.

defend oneself

Some of us lie, instinctively trying to protect themselves from pain and frustration. However, this is very selfish.

derive benefit

We can lie to extract for themselves any benefit. energy vampires so put yourself in the role of victim and suck energy from others.

capture the attention

Pathological liars behave, to curry sympathy and pity from others, as well as to attract attention.

Why men lie

To avoid drama

Women inherently more emotional than men. Therefore, men lie, so as not to aggravate the situation.

In order not to hurt a woman's feelings

Man unconsciously puts himself in the head of the family, wishing thereby to protect a woman from her worries and troubles. In this case, the man lied, hoping to make it good.

To hide the insecurities

Quite often, men fib about their work, hobbies and personal life. Thus, they want to assert themselves in the eyes of others.

Why do women lie

According to a recently conducted researchWomen tell more fibs than men... honestly! Four in five say they tell a lie on a daily basis.Women tend to cheat two times more likely than their partners.

Perhaps the secret lies in the features of the device of male and female brain. During the speech abilities of men left hemisphere is responsible, and for women - both of them. Therefore, women are able to predict the reaction of the interlocutor to say what people want to hear.

The motives of female deception may be the same as that of men. However, there are other reasons why they are lying.

To lift someone spirits

Women can flatter to encourage someone to lift someone's self-esteem and inspire the man confidence.

In order not to appear vulnerable

Women are afraid to run into trouble, so instinctively protect themselves.

To save face

The opinion of friends or co-workers is very important for many women. So sometimes they fib to seem better than they are.

How to deal with a liar

In family

If you often deceiving someone from relatives do not need to speak to him in person a claim and called a liar. This may worsen your relationship. Do not humiliate him and try to talk. Think about why the person is telling you the truth. Maybe he needs help or advice.

With baby

If you catch your child in a lie, surround it with care and confidence. Very often children are lying out of fear of being punished or unappreciated. The child must feel that can do everything you tell him, and that none of it does not condemn.

He needs to explain that lying is not good, and that sooner or later the truth will still pops out. Be sure to support this truth by example. That we assimilated in childhoodUsually stays with us for life.

With partner

Integrity - the key to a happy and trusting relationship. Discuss urgent problems together, share their emotions and experiences. The only way you will be able to solve them and save the relationship.

With colleagues

If you lies one of your co-workers, beware. Find out how true statements, which colleague is said and what the consequences may cause deception. Having learned these details, you can decide what to do next. If you decide to talk to that person, keep yourself in their hands. It should hold a private conversation and, if necessary, ask someone to help.

How to stop lying

If you are aware of your problem, you can help a few tips.

1. Find out the cause

Try to remember how, when and why you started to tell a lie. That way you are trying to hide? Lie - this certain kind depending onFrom which, as well as from all the rest, you need to get rid of. If you fear that you can not handle it alone, ask for help from family or friends.

2. Remind yourself of the consequences of a lie

Surely you would prefer to forget how your lies have caused someone pain. However, you need to restore this point in mind. Let it serve as a reminder of how a lie can ruin relationships and ruin lives.

3. Confess in a lie

If you are again caught herself in a lie, do not make excuses and do not invent excuses. Admit it. Explain that you are now working to overcome this problem. Maybe just the one who lied to you, can help you.

4. Do not promise the impossible

Sometimes it is hard to admit that there is something you can not, especially if you promise to do something useful and good. Just remember that your broken promises greatly hurt your dear people.

5. Work on self-esteem

Maybe you're lying because self-doubt. Talk to family and friends about his character. Find out their positive and negative qualities. Even if you hear bad things about themselves, loved ones say it to make you better and help you.

If you speak the truth, you do not need to remember about anything.

Mark Twain, writer, journalist and public figure