What if everything around against you

There is an endless stream of internal and external signals, lead us off track. To learn how to resist them, and even use them to their advantage, says Marshall Goldsmith (Marshall Goldsmith), a well-known business expert, best-selling author, which have been translated into 30 languages.

How do the triggers

Triggers - this is the very signals that influence our behavior. Why is it so difficult to deal with them? Simply, we are used to respond to them in a certain way.

Get out of the loop habits not easy, but possible. First you need to understand what this process consists of three stages: signal (Trigger), template and awards. For example, for a smoker signal can be stressful pattern - the use of nicotine, and the award - the temporary release of tension.

The best way to get rid of the habit - to change the template, save and reward signal.

No wonder some people are starting to eat a lot when quitting smoking: it is their new reaction to stress. Of course, this is not the best solution, because instead of delicious cakes with the same success can be selected

jogging the stadium or relaxing music.

Now let's see, what other triggers are present in our lives and how we can change our pattern of behavior.

What triggers you to prevent

unfavorable circumstances

Philosopher boxer Mike Tyson (Mike Tyson) said: "Everyone has a plan until he will not give the face." Traveling on the road of life, most of the blow we receive from the environment.

Sometimes it seems that the whole world is against us. We can be angry at the teller, count change correctly, give up, if a colleague suddenly fell ill and did not want us to report, upset because of a flight cancellation. But it's all abnormal reaction.

Angry at the circumstances meaningless. It's the same thing that offended by a light bulb. Do not be upset, and someone to blame for what happened. Calm down, take the situation for what it is, and act in accordance with it.

mistakes of others

Your subordinate makes a spelling mistake in the presentation and you will be accountable for all of it? Wife of late for the show, and you say, "Well, I told you to get ready faster"? each commits risky actYou argue that since you something exactly would act differently?

Tell people their mistakes and show how much smarter you are - it's not exactly the best way to maintain good relations. And most important, so you do not correct anything.

If you caught yourself on such reactions, learn to stop in time. Do not rush to prove his innocence, and think about how you can really make a difference and help others.

Fatigue

Sometimes, after a hard day, we feel so exhausted that they themselves do not notice as our capacity for self-control falls. The consequences can be different: some evening workout instead allows himself to lie down on the couch, someone takes out the accumulated aggression on households, and someone takes a devastating decision on business meeting.

As in other cases, to learn to notice the trigger and his reaction to it - is the most important step towards the correction. Be attentive to all that you say and do in the evening after a busy day. To avoid trouble, the most tedious assign meeting in the morning. Then take serious decisions.

Try to save energy. A great way to do this - to make a clear plan of action for the day and follow it without being distracted by other things.

distractions

I have to spend time working on conversations with colleagues, correspondence in social networks or endless checking email? You are not alone.

Modern man has to work among the many distractions. But if you do not resist them, you will surely encounter with a mountain of outstanding cases, fatigue and stress.

How to avoid it? Make two list. In the first list the most important tasks for the day, and specify a time when you deal with them. For example, from seven to eight, you train, with nine hours to append report, from two to five meet with clients, and from six to ten fully devote himself to the family. In the second list, select everything that can prevent you to achieve the goals.

Perhaps you will understand that friend who always stops by your table and adjusts to your leisure time in the evening, in fact, a red trigger. Then you need to "dismiss" him for a while. Or you see that they regularly miss a morning workout as spend a lot of time after waking up in the social network. Force yourself to change this habit. Do not get distracted on anything until you have planned.

productive triggers

It is unlikely to succeed to transfer absolutely all the negative triggers and our reactions to them. But now you can determine which signals are preventing you achieve the desired. Ignore them and adjust their behavior - is half the battle.

The next step - to create a network of productive triggers that lead you to your goal. This can be any signal inducing effect.

For example, ask a friend to remind you of training at a certain time. Before work, imagine how you will be proud of yourself, when all of the important tasks. Or make a list of motivating questions that need answering every night.

Start with the phrase "Have I done everything possible today to ...", and then substitute that promise to myself: keep in touch with friends, broaden their horizons, to do exercises, to find meaning in work, sleep and etc. This formulation will help to realize that you are capable of much amend. Evaluate each item on a scale to see if there is progress. If you put yourself low ratings, it will encourage you to become more active.

External factors beyond our control. Often we think that we are not able to influence them, and we feel the puppets of fate. In vain. Fate - a card that we were given. Choice - how to play them.

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