How to stop to swim in your own negative

Have you ever watched the fish in a dirty aquarium? They look dull and detached swim in circles, as if the fins strapped to their shackles that are constantly pulling them down. Replace dirty water on a fresh, and you will notice that the fish will swim with appeasement, rather than horror. If the "water" in which we swim - it is our thoughts, we ourselves can control the degree of purity of his "aquarium". Many of us have false beliefs that have formed due to some events and people in our lives. These false beliefs is our "dirty water". Vain doubt, lack of confidence, destructive relationships - all this limits our ability and does not allow to achieve what we could achieve. Misconceptions change all our lives. We begin to see it in gray.

Would know about water fish, which swims all his life?
Albert Einstein

But there is good news. Unlike fish, we are in a position to change their "water." Most people - slaves to their thoughts. They do not even realize that they are able to control their thoughts. Many people do not put absolutely no effort to change the course of his thoughts. Perhaps this is due to any fears or maybe they do not believe they are worthy of "pure water". They used to swim in the negative. They just took it for granted and everything. The truth is that you are able to clean your aquarium. At any time. You can greet each new day with joy, and not with the feeling that "the whole world is against you." Build only those relationships that will make you happy. Surround yourself with positive people. Seek joy in everything. You can change your life by changing it from what it is. It all starts with our thoughts and ends by them. By controlling our thoughts, we control our own reality.

Remember that there is no prison worse than in the head.
Viktor Tsoi

Here are three ways to help you understand what "water" you swim and what to do.

1. Determine the state of your "Aquarium"

It's simple. You either live or die. There is no third.

You are fixated on the future. Constantly thinking about the past. Did not say goodbye to a relationship that is long gone. Eat any muck. Poor sleep. Fixated on the problems. Forever dissatisfied with something, annoy everyone who surrounds you, and themselves as well. Your days - a continuous struggle and resistance. You sick of what is around you, life for you - an analogue of the prison. Hope for you - the same myth, like Santa Claus. You are a consumer, not a creator.

Or.

You create, develop yourself and those around you. You build only your important relationships that enrich you. You eat healthy food. Listen to yourself. To express their opinions. Dreaming. You are not choking fear. You look fine, you get up in the morning with the feeling that slept. Sincere love and know how to forgive. Live the present. You're trying to find something good that surrounds you, and in people who are close to you. Do not run after a mirage. Be creative. Your "tank" clean. You really live.

Which of these two descriptions you find the greatest number of matches with your life? Perhaps, in this and in the other? Perhaps, once your "Aquarium" was dirty, but now it is cleaner. Or, on the contrary, he is now dirtier than ever. Your own thoughts determine how dirty your "Aquarium".

2. Be aware of false representations that shape your life

No one becomes an adult without the "scars". We live in a chaotic world that defies control. Parents divorce. Friends betray us. People are often judged solely "on the cover of": the presence of acne or excess weight can be a reason to hate you. Is death, loneliness and internal scars that never heal until the end.

Some start to use alcohol and drugs. This is the only thing that can give them a fair shake and made to feel anything. They call it "unjust to adapt to the world." But in reality it is a form of escape. They will run, hide, and less frequently as the other people in the community as possible.

There's also a different version of events: you enter into adulthood and begins the countdown. Test results. University. Relationship. Interview. The fight for the best place in the office. Marriage. Children. Mortgage. Expectations. Depression. And, of course, the eternal fear. You hide from life. All the "main action" starts to happen in your head, because it is safe and nobody can disturb you. It makes you generate a ton of false beliefs that accumulate like a snowball.

two of the most categorical example above shows, however, if you can not find in them itself, it does not mean that there is no false beliefs in your life. Here are the most common examples of common misconceptions.

I would never do anything outstanding. I'll never fall in love. I'll never be happy. I'm worthless. I owe everything to my parents. I cant. I will always be problems. I am a victim. I'm not strong enough. If I'm not rich, no one will love me. I'm not attractive. If I do not earn so much money or do not reach a certain status, I can not be a good husband, father, man, and so on. D.

All the false beliefs directly manifest in our behavior. They define the choices that we make in the work relationship, the way we communicate with parents, friends, colleagues. False beliefs influence any decisions we make in life. They block a lot of our aspirations, telling us that we do not deserve.

Think about what your false beliefs about love, work, people, your body, work, life in general? What you can and can not do that, really? What do you think you deserve?

Once again all the false beliefs that you have just listed. Now, think about how your life would change if you could get rid of them? Who would you be? What kind of people would surround you? What would you do for a living? would your life differ from the one that is now?

3. Challenge your false beliefs: do what according to them, you can not do

First of all you need to clearly understand exactly what your beliefs are false. They are often formed upbringing, traumatic relationships and events. "Deceptive" beliefs cause you to doubt your own abilities and opportunities. They force you to constantly seek the approval of others. You begin to think that because of this people to reach for you, but "present you" is not enough to motivate anyone. False beliefs deprive you of the uniqueness.

A good way to recognize false beliefs - is to ask yourself what you are afraid of and why. For example, you want to fill tattoo master the bike and do street art of life. But your father wants you to have married, had children and became a housewife. You have a great relationship with my father, and you do not want to upset him. You thank him for all he has done for you. Do you think that if you do not live the way he wants you bad daughter.

So, you decide to not go their way. If the "rewind the tape" and ask ourselves again what you want at the moment, the answer is about like this: "I want to quit your job and do what I really like - the street art. But I'm afraid". If you ask yourself about the logical reasons for your fear, too, there are answers, "What if I do not get to start a new life?", "What if I can not pay my bills?".

After a session of soul-searching, you will find that, although these fears and have the right to exist, the root of the problem is actually in the other. "If I am to fulfill his dream and become a street artist, my father was upset and would not be proud of me." If you are subject to this false belief, you can marry the one who do not like to give up their favorite hobby, which is important for you, or to make a choice, which later will regret. "Water" in your "tank" will be muddy, and you will swim in your own negativity.

As soon as you become aware of their own false beliefs, you must rebuild your internal dialogue so that you have the opportunity to "uncover" the truth. As an example, take the story described above. "I owe my father" I can be reformulated as follows: "I am grateful to my father for all he has done for me. But the truth is that it was his choice: all that he did for me, he was doing on their own. He did so, would do any loving father of her child. It was not a condition. It was a gift. "

Rather than take a misconception "to become a street artist still be a bad daughter", think about what it means to be a good daughter. May be a good daughter - to love his father, but at the same time show that you have your own dreams and goals that you think will make you happy. You do not have to follow someone else's model of life, even if such a model offered you a loved one as a father.

The next step will fulfill all what you've wanted, but were afraid to. Make tattoo. Sign up for driving lessons. Talk to your father, tell him what you want. Perhaps part with false beliefs is difficult, because they have been with you for so long. But if you really want to live your life - you have to deal with.

The more false beliefs you will be able to rethink the purer will be your "Aquarium". You can freely "float" - to follow their dreams, to go on its way, of course, sometimes make mistakes, but it will be your fault.

His life you live yourself, and only in your power to "clean your aquarium" - to change what you do not like.