Alluring myth of limitless possibilities

You can do whatever you want! There is no limit! You are the best! Follow your dreams!

Have you heard these things in your childhood? Your parents were convinced that this motivation will go in your favor. For them, you really were the most special person on planet Earth - a beautiful child with endless possibilities.

But now that the child grew up, and in his twenty such judgments rather stifle than motivate. If your possibilities are endless really, how can you decide which way to go and what to do with your life?

Clinical psychologist Meg Jay specializes in advising younger patients aged 20 to 30 years. She wrote the book "Decisive Decade", the primary focus of which is youth. In his book, Meg tells us that young people are facing a serious choice in its interim 10 years. What to do for a living? Graphic design? And maybe enroll in the Faculty of Law, as parents want? Or to become a pilot in order to fulfill a childhood dream? Young man feels like he is literally drowning in a sea of ​​options that surround it, and does not know where to go.

Many young people do not see the shore, to which want to approach, and do not even realize which way want to swim. They are so overwhelmed with all sorts of options that, in the end, just can not stop on something one. At the age of 25 years they hopelessness and fatigue are aware that treading water.

We believe that our possibilities are endless

Believing in the existence of infinite possibilities, young people begin to lose and instead choose one of these options, do not choose anything. Why?

To some extent the idea of ​​the existence of the infinite possibilities of giving a sense of freedom. People love it when they have a lot of options (even if it is set can make them unhappy).

For this reason, we are afraid to knock on a door, because we think that because of this in front of our nose closed dozens of others. "If I choose one thing, I feel like I'm losing everything else." In addition, when you choose one path, you go from contemplative state selection in the state, when it is necessary to take concrete steps to move forward. Of course, much easier to sit on the sidelines and watch from the world than to fuss and do something on their own. There are several basic reasons why young people are not in a hurry to make the final choice.

You have incredibly high hopes and plans for this wonderful life. Because the generation Y (to which I belong) tend to think that it is special, and does not want to settle for a normal life and to be like everyone else.

Millenialy dream of an extraordinary life. Although, if you ask any average representative of the Y-generation, that in his understanding means "extraordinary life", it is unlikely he will be able to clearly and accurately explain this phenomenon. Rather, he says, he does not want every day from nine to five pants sit in the office bored and want to engage in favorite work. Favorite work you describe is also very abstract. Representatives of the generation Y are well aware of what they do not want, and very vague idea of ​​what they want from life. They are sure that the feeling of "yes, that's it - really is my" necessarily will come to them unexpectedly itself into one day, and to make any effort to find his place in life, it is not required.

You do not know where to start. Sometimes the words' I do not know where do I start "are lies and self-deception - in fact you perfectly you know, you just love to soar in the clouds and do nothing to justify themselves by saying that you are diligently looking own way.

If you do not start, you can not fail. Even if you have an idea of ​​how you want to build your life, you can hold down the fear of failure.

You are afraid to make the wrong choice. This is one of the main reasons why people are so stubbornly cling to the myth of limitless possibilities. What if you first choose how you feel suits you model life, but after a while you will realize that you made a mistake? What if you become exactly ordinary, average person, lifestyle, you ridiculed so zealously? To learn how to stop being afraid of making the wrong choice, we will talk further.

When Meg Jay talked about this issue with a twenty man, she asked him how it is possible to find "your" in this sea of ​​choices, to which he replied: "I do not know exactly. Perhaps you just ever realize that you want to go with just this and not the other way. And maybe you can help someone with a choice, pointing in the right direction. "

This way of thinking of many twentysomethings. They are waiting for the lifeboat, which will pick them up and will take away into the unusual, full life of adventure. Although not immediately rush to condemn them, maybe it's just a defense mechanism that gives them a sense of security. However, this feeling, as we shall see below, in most cases only an illusion.

So how do you give up the illusion of infinite possibilities and finally learn to take responsibility for their own lives? First of all you will be examined with this myth.

Part of which is life

Conventionally, our life can be divided into several important parts: the relationship, children, work (vocation, life work), travel / hobbies. Of how many parts will be your life - it depends on you. How much vitality, or other resources you invest in every part - it is also a personal choice. This can be compared with the choice of the bike. You might want to tandem bicycle (going to marry / married), mountain biking (Extreme love), a bicycle with a child seat (going soon have offspring). Someone might just want a bicycle speed (single, without child seat and other things). Combination - in the choice of the bike, and in our lives - are endless.

How to proceed with the heart of the matter

So, each person builds his life of four main parts (in fact, these parts may be more, we just cited the most common).

Let's think about this for a moment. Marriage and children - an issue that sometimes seems prohibitively difficult, but in fact is very simple: you either want to marry / get married / have a baby or not. When it comes to hobbies, there are usually few questions arise: people are just doing what they like and what they do not mind spending their free time.

So when people say that they do not know what to do with their lives, they often mean by that is that they do not know in what kind of professional field to go, how to find his vocation. The options here are terribly much, and the rates are prohibitive. We fear that our lives will flow under the standard scheme "home - family - work" and there would be nothing unique about it. It was at this point we begin to feel that we need to change something, maybe take a chance to finally become those "special" people, we always feel.

Despite the fact that, at first glance, professional golf seems endless to him all sorts of options, our capabilities are not limitless and, in this case. Our choice is narrowed to a few choices. Firstly, you do not "clean sheet", as many can assure you, as fully formed human being, who has 20 years of living in the world and has its own specific interests, habits and abilities. Listen to yourself, and you will understand that, based on your preferences and your abilities, from an endless sea of ​​options you will have a maximum of six. Six - this is far better than infinity, right? And certainly one of these six options, there is one that will help you discover your talent, you are most interested in, and that they can catch fire. You already know it, you stand out from all the others feel it is really up to you, but the eternal doubts and fears do not give you until the end realize it. This phenomenon can be metaphorically called "known unthought".

What if I make the wrong choice

Make choices that will determine in many ways - it is a big responsibility for everyone. As we explained above, fear can keep you long to make a mistake in a passive mode, "My options are limitless." Here are a few reasons why you should not worry about what will make the wrong choice, and should start doing anything, not to live in an eternal limbo:

When you need to make a choice, and you do not do - it is also a choice.
William James

The first thing to understand - this is something that does not make a choice - it is no worse than making a wrong choice. The refusal to make a choice - it is a kind of choice by default. If adopting specific solutions in front of us close some doors, when choosing undone before we close many doors.

When you decide to go one way, before you open up many perspectives that would never be available to you if you stay at its original starting point.

If you choose one path, it does not mean that you go through it until the end. Yes, each choice has its consequences, and it is sometimes difficult to change course. But not setting yourself up for a negative way at the beginning of a career path, do not take a job as an eternal sentence. There is good news: every experience, even produced by the profession, which you do not intend to engage in all my life, in any case, ever come in handy.

You never know, you like it or not, if you do not try. Try, explore, look for his own. trial-and-error method - one of the surest ways to find what you have is the soul.

A sense of endless possibilities intoxicating in its scale, but at the same time makes you feel anxiety and insecurity. Once you select one way, you'll feel like you are standing firmly on the ground.