Spanish shame, why others make you blush
Educational Program A Life / / December 19, 2019
Why shame called Spanish
As explained by modern dictionariesSpanish Shame, The Spanish shame - a "sense of searing embarrassment for the actions committed by other people." It is a curious phenomenon, of course, international, having no clear geographical reference. But give it a proper name first hit upon the Spaniards.
Vergüenza Ajena ( «a disgrace for others") - stated the essence of the experience they have.
And introduced the country name in the thesaurus international psychology. Sliding the, by the way, Germany, which also have similar concept - Fremdschämen, «the shame of a stranger." The Spanish shame there are also other names. For example, second-hand embarrassment. Or empathic shame. Or indirect confusionLinking Empathy To Vicarious Embarrassment.
However, there are things more interesting than the title. In particular, where does this most Spanish of shame. What makes us blush for others - men, to whose errors, unwise or tactless behavior, we do not have any relation.
Where does the Spanish shame
Studies devoted mediated confusion, there is not too much. However, those that are allow to list a few reasons why you are experiencing the Spanish shame. Spoiler: some of them will make you happy, and some may disappoint.
This sensitivity
It - developed empathy. You try on, he felt the other man caught in an awkward situation. And to the extent empathize him feel almost physical pain.
It is not an exaggeration: when empathy is really activatedYour flaws are my pain areas of the brain associated with some pain. So you want to close your eyes to go, but would not see other people's shame.
This self-centeredness
Imagine that on the street in front of you ran naked little boy. The child is still too young to realize that violate some social norms. He does not feel any embarrassment grams. But this embarrassment suddenly feel you.
This happens because your internal settings, your view of the world that you feel are more important than the installation of others.
And it was so evident egocentrism - the whole thing natural. However, sometimes it leads to stagnation looks, inability to see the world from a different point of view. However, this is a completely different story.
it giperotvetstvennost
If you know the Spanish shame, then you tend to take responsibility for the behavior of other people. And it makes you feel like other people's blunders own. Even in that situation, when the influence of these actions objectively you can not.
This fear of rejection
Fear of being thrown out of the band lives in each of us. Hi long and not always humane evolution that taught our ancestors to become an outcast in the tribe is very quickly becoming dead. Therefore, we urgently respond to a situation in which society rejects (or can deny) one of our tribesmen.
And suddenly, excitedly whispering subconscious, after it rejected us?
Observe how people feel, in front of which the head of the berating a subordinate. Or the behavior of the students when the teacher scolds a classmate. Head pressed into his shoulders, lowered eyes, the awkward silence and a desperate desire to escape. It operates the same mechanism that triggers Spanish shame in other cases. Somewhere in the depths of the subconscious, it's terrible, so you want to look away, and do feyspalm to hide from this "disgrace" and possible expulsionValidation and correlates of the vicarious embarrassment scale.
This low self-esteem
Leaders, bright and popular persons of a family, as a rule, do not throw away. Throw away those whose loss will not be noticeable. If you try on the role of potentially rejected, chances are you do not really self-confident.
This is a sign that you belong to the same social group as the "loser"
Most acutely manifested in the Spanish shame when you associate yourself with those who got in an awkward situation. So indirect confusion can serve as a kind of psychological tests.
Look at the person whose actions cause you to attack the Spanish shame. You associate yourself with it, you consider yourself part of the same meaningful to you social group. And it says a lot about you.
see also😑😓😱
- How to overcome the fear of failure
- How to change a way of life, not a mocking
- The mechanism of fear: how to wean the brain to be afraid
- How to cease to be ashamed of her body
- 4 steps to get rid of the fear and shame