15 simple rules that will help you through difficult times

Life - the band is white, black stripe, and hard times, sooner or later come to everyone. If now it's your turn to overcome the obstacle and bow under the pressure of circumstances, use uncomplicated psychological rules that will pass the test on the strength of the life much easier and fun.

1. Keep a positive attitude

Life slips us exactly what we are concentrating on at the moment. Pregnant women look around and wonder how many divorced them as pregnant fellow member. Dreaming of a particular brand of car are beginning to see these cars on the streets day after day.

In fact, of course, no pregnancy, no car no more. Just our brains focused on his own, it filters the surrounding reality and the warning lamp lights, "Look, urgent attention!" - when he sees fit the theme of their reflection object. psychologists callWhat's the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon? This phenomenon Baader - Meinhof.

The conclusion is simple. The more poor you would expect, the gain more.

It will literally climb from all slots, driving you deeper into depression. And vice versa:

I am thinking about the good, Believing the best, you are changing the settings of their own brain - and it turns out it, good to focus your attention. Let optimistic and will not solve all your problems, but the world will be much lighter.

2. Make lemonade out of a lemon

It sounds like a broken record, but nevertheless, this approach often works. Yes, there are situations in which we really can not change anything. However, there are others where it is sufficient to take a step back or to the side to look at the problem with fresh eyes, to connect a little creativity - and voila, an elegant and cost-effective solution would be found. And not where you originally expected. A classic example of this is the story of William Wrigley - human and chewing gum.

In 90-ies of the XIX century, he created the company tried unsuccessfully to enter the market, selling household stuff - soap and baking powder. Things were going so-so, and to give us something to stand out from the competition, came up with Wrigley included with each pack of baking powder penny plate gum.

Alas, the company continued to work to zero, or even at a loss over the business clouds were gathering, and Wrigley was ready to accept the fact that a businessman from it will not work. However, at some point an unsuccessful entrepreneur noticed that people sometimes buy baking powder for future use only in order to get along with him pack of gum. Archimedes in his place cried "Eureka!"

Wrigley also limited by the fact that completely refocused the business on the production and sale of chewing gum, which to him was not considered as a promising product. The result of the creativity and the subsequent success of the whole world chews (literally) on this day.

3. Learn from your mistakes

What exactly drove you into a stalemate? The analysis of all the circumstances may be painful, but extremely useful. Disassemble the preceding deterioration Affairs events to pieces: what went wrong, where you make a mistakeWhat might have been if you acted differently... In the end, you get a clear enough idea of ​​how it was possible to avoid occurrence of black stripes. Go through the difficult times much easier if you know that the chances of their recurrence tend to zero.

4. Change what you can change

Calculating the errors and miscalculations that led you to a difficult situation, try to correct them. If something can not be fixed right now, just pay attention to this fact, to correct as soon as possible.

5. Be thankful

And life - for giving you the experience and the people who surround you. Just think about this or that loved one: it brings into your life is taught, what substitutes shoulder, as if you lived without his support.

Write a short (or long - mood) a letter explaining why you are so grateful to life for what it is, this man. Then call him or her and read his creation. The difficulties you are experiencing at a particular moment, will seem less significant when compared with the present valuesWho are in your life.

6. Focus on what you can control

Perhaps you have been doing a lot of failed attempts to rectify the situation. So much that you give up and you will no longer believe that they can change something.

Search that still in your power, and focus attention on this - one of the most effective ways of dealing with learned helplessnessLearned helplessness (This is called a condition that you are now experiencing).

Yes, you can not improve your business globally, but you can brush your teeth? Go and clean. You can start running in the morning? Run.

The more your life will be things that you can control and that can be controlled, the faster you will return confidence. And along with it - and the will to overcome difficulties.

7. Praise yourself for traveled and experienced

Sometimes we are so focused on the present moment, that does not look back. The darkness around seems hopeless. However, it is important to occasionally look back to evaluate how a long way you've gone, how changedThat purchased and what was left behind. When you see what you have managed to overcome the light at the end of the tunnel will be much brighter.

8. Surround yourself with people who understand you

Surround yourself with loved ones - one of the most important things you can do in a difficult situation. You need their love, that there is nothing to compare what is happening around you. You need to take care of them in order to feel important. Do you need their honesty, to hear the truth and advice from those who you really trust. Important for you to their understanding and accepting you for who you are, not to lose faith in yourself.

If next to you for any reason there are no such people find community members who have already passed or pass through what you are now experiencing. From them you will receive and the necessary support and experience that will help overcome the difficulty.

9. Learn to forgive and let go

It so happens that difficult times there is a particular culprit. "If not for him, everything would go according to plan!" - you think and be spent hatred for this man. This is a natural reaction, but destructive: you focus on negative experiences, Instead of looking for a way out.

Yes, let the person really is guilty, but... You will not be mad at the rain, because of which soaked to the skin? Or thirst for revenge gust of wind that broke your umbrella? No, you will make every effort to how quickly you can get home and prepare your own hot tea, and then fix or buy a new umbrella. So it is here. The culprit - a "element," which is important to as quickly as possible to leave behind, focusing on more important things.

10. Do not blame yourself

I repeat: there are hard times for everyone. It is not you a bad or improvident, it's just a black stripe, which is an integral part of life. Each life. Of course, different people have difficulty taking place in their own way. You got this option. Take it as a test, which is important to pass with flying colors, not as proof of how bad you are.

Even the worst enemy can not harm you as your own intemperate thoughts.

Buddha

11. Enjoy the simple things

One of the hardest tests, which carry us to hard times - a reduction of comfort. When you are all well, you can find joy to dine in popular restaurants, travel, hiring a housekeeper to facilitate life, to buy expensive things. When things get worse, a lot of things have to give up, and this is sad.

Meanwhile, to enjoy life, sometimes quite very simple things. Instead of dinner at the restaurant find some interesting recipe and cook the original (Albeit expensive) meal with loved ones. Instead of a trip to Europe Get into the habit on Saturdays to sit on the bike and explore the surrounding area. Minimalism is now in vogue. Try it out for yourself right now. Once more to provide such a chance, well, is not it?

12. Revise the values ​​and priorities

Failures are given the chance to conduct an audit of values ​​in life, which you have not even thought of in the well-fed and calm days. Look inside yourself, look around: what is really important to you? As far as your dreams, hopes, aspirations correspond to what is really important for you? From which you can opt out without any experience? Loss that will break your heart? Redistribution of priorities is often a decisive step to overcome the losing streaks.

13. Cultivate one's patience

In childhood and adolescence we sometimes seems that you can get everything at once. It is only with age comes the realization that we can not control time. However strong may be our time management skills, there are things for which "an hour is not yet come." The flower does not bloom in February, a child is born immediately after the kiss, big reliable house would not be built in a day. If you want to get something of value, you have to wait. It is important to understand and accept it.

You can have everything. Just not all at once.

Oprah Winfrey

14. Remember: you can always remains a choice

While many things in the world can not be controlled, we still can choose. Choice is from what point of view we look at these things, how they react, what action to take, as the circumstances allow to define who we are. Who are you here and now? Choose. Your turn.

15. Take care of yourself

This item is lowered many, or entangled in self-blame, or sticking to the tenth of sweat, or just delaying until better times. Meanwhile, in order to survive in the difficult hours, you must take care of yourself. What if tomorrow you will bring down overwork or clinical depression?

Therefore raduyte themselves, no matter what.

Coffee in a cozy cafe. Walk in the park. New book. Buying nice clothes or accessory - let it be a mere trifle, but she will give you a piece of joy! Allow yourself to sleep eventually. We for ourselves - the most important and the most effective support in difficult times. You can not lose it.