Between "necessary" and "want": how to stop living vicariously and find yourself present

We are different. Thirties women. Twenty-year men. Students. "Poor" millionaires. Teacher. Programmers. Musicians, pretending to be lawyers. Poets who like to drive a bus. People who understand that the work has got into a dead end, and the people are grateful that there are at least some work.

We are different. But we share the pain. We do not use their skills for real.

Once El Moon (Elle Luna), an artist and designer, has written this essay - "Between the need to and want to." On how to find their way and understand themselves. After a couple of weeks this text shared 5 million. "This text has changed my life", - commented one woman. "Throw all that is now occupied, and read this article," - wrote to a friend. And then there was the book. Beautiful. Inspiring. Who wants to share.

Today share what hooked. So drop everything. And read.

Jobs, career or vocation?

El working on startup, when she felt that she had come to a "crossroads". The works were many, but all the free time she has devoted drawing. Both worlds were equally interesting for her, but what to choose?

Once El saw performance Stefan Sagmeister (Stefan Sagmeister), designer of New York City, the world-famous TED conferenceIn which it showed a difference between work, career and vocation.

El wondered what was in her life? She realized that she wanted to have a job that would be both a career and a vocation. After starting a startup, she wrote a letter of resignation, and devoted himself entirely to painting.

And what is more in your life? Work, career or vocation?

Writer TS Eliot worked in a bank. Kurt Vonnegut sold the car. One of the greatest contemporary composers Philip Glass began to earn his calling only in '41. Premieres of his works took place at the Metropolitan Opera, and he continued to work as a plumber.

Any work deserves respect. If you work just to pay the bills, it's not bad. And what you want to find your calling, do not mean that you have to give up work. There is no contradiction.

But it is important to consider what you are doing now?

We must and want

"In life there are two ways:" necessary "and" want ". We come to this intersection again and again. And every day we choose, "- writes in his book El.

"We must" - a presentation of other people (mostly relatives - parents, family) on how we should live. It is their expectations about our actions, thoughts and life in general. All this destroys our own "I", forcing live is not soAs we would like. Choosing the path "must", we choose life for others, life is predictable and without unnecessary disturbances.

And what is a "want"?

"I want" - that is what we are without masks and imposed systems. This is all that we feel at heart that we love and what we believe. This is our true desires, dreams, hobbies. "I want to" allow us to disclose their potential, strive to own ideals.

Follow the path of "I want" more difficult, because it is unclear what awaits us in this journey. There are no guarantees, just daily hard work and constant overcoming himself. But at the same time choose the "I want" - it means to live rich and conscious life. Be every second here and now. It is a life full of excitement and joy.

Lawyer John Grisham every day wake up at 5 am and before work sat down to write stories about the terrible crimes. He followed the "want" for many years and did not give up, was denied publication of his book. He eventually received a positive response, and today his name is known in every home.

Which way you're going? "We should," or "I want"?

Where "must" come from?

It would seem, to do what we want, so simple, but why did not we do this every day?

We grow up in an environment where everything is constantly tell us what to do. We are taught that we can do and what can not. We inherit the beliefs and worldview of loved ones. But sometimes we follow someone else's path "must" for much longer than planned. We suddenly realize themselves adults who live not as we would like.

In order to get out of captivity, "must", you first need to realize that we are in it. Take a sheet of paper and make a list consisting of the proposals, beginning with "I need ..." "I have to ..." "I would always have to ..." "I should never ...". Do not hesitate to write anything that sounds in your head.

Now ask each item on your list of three questions:

No regrets eliminate everything that does not suit you. Life is too short to waste time on something that you do not want to do.

How to follow the path of "I want"?

And what if we do not know what we like and what we want? Play a game of dreams.

Every time some desire appears in your head (or dream), Write it on a sticker and attach anywhere. Your desires can be strange, grand, useful or silly. Main - catch them and burn. So you're more likely to hear what your heart wants. What will be heard more and more loudly - that is you yourself.

two obituary

Imagine that you have grown old, and died about you in the newspapers. That there will be written, if your life is going the way it goes? Write down everything you are thinking. Do you like this?

Now write an obituary so that you would like yourself. What would your life? Who would you be? Caring mother, a hero of the country, a great inventor or all together? Do not hesitate in their dreams.

Compare these two obituary and think over what you need to change in your life to become a second reality.

How to start?

Lao Tzu said: "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." Once you realize what you really want, begin to slowly act. Do not immediately give up work and spend all of their time, such as writing. This is unwise, because you need something to live and something to eat. In addition, this approach only will introduce you to a screeching halt. Just every day do what you love. Finding daily 10-15 minutes for yourself is easy.

Listen to your heart and do everything that it tells. Even if it seems absurd or meaningless.

Your life belongs to you. But only if you are at the helm. Follow the path "want" every day. Ten minutes can always be found. Ten minutes until boiling kettle, - go ahead! Ten minutes in a traffic jam - go ahead!

What do you choose? Do you want? Want?

P. S. Read something that inspires. On the electronic version of "Between the need to and want to"Discount of 50% until 13 June - only Layfhakera readers. Promo code - XO4Y.