How to deal with asshole

Robert Sutton

Lecturer at Stanford Business School and author of "Do not use the m * Dacians».

How to determine the asshole

If after talking with the person you feel humiliated, weary, mud-drenched, you definitely had to deal with the asshole.

Although sometimes our senses mislead us. For example, we quickly denounce their relatives and colleagues, they just show aggressiveness or set personal boundaries. If children do not rush to respond to your inquiries about how was their day at school, it does not mean that they want to hurt you. This asshole humiliates and deliberately rude.

Not to be mistaken in his assessment, ask how others perceive the behavior of such a person. If they feel the same as yours, in front of you exactly asshole. Just remember that there is a difference between those who sometimes it behaves, and professional asshole.

All of us in certain circumstances we happen asshole. Professional asshole offend people on a regular basis.

If you feel that you are surrounded by some asshole, the problem may be in you. If you treat people like dirt, they will tell you the same.

How to deal with asshole

It all depends on the specific situation. There is a common Nezlobnaya asshole. They interrupt, climb out of turn and comment on your every action. We'll have to bite the bullet and be patient.

To communicate with them Sutton offers five strategies:

1. Do not take their words to heart.
2. Promise yourself that you will find this man's funny. Just keep the fun to yourself, this is also part of the fun.
3. Create a physical or emotional distance. For example, if you are one of the meetings, sit as far as possible. If a person It annoys you in social networksAccomplish your goal.
4. Tell yourself that conduct psychological research. Think of how many times your asshole interrupting someone or conversation to himself.
5. Be polite. Do not react and did not encourage his behavior.

How to stop communicating

If you are faced with brutal asshole, which brings to a nervous breakdown all around, do not suffer this is.

Consider whether you can personally make a difference. For example, to fire an employee who offends others. Or invite a friend to a party like this.

If you yourself can not do anything, you team up with colleagues or friends. Ask how they perceive the behavior of this man. I'm sure many will experience relief from the fact that they are not alone noticed. Together, you quickly find a solution. For example, pay attention to the problem of the authorities.

And how do you compete with the asshole in your life?