How to get rid of the feeling of helplessness and take himself in hand

A Life / by admin / December 19, 2019

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What is learned helplessness

Learned helplessness - a condition in which a person does not try to influence the situation, even when it can do so. This phenomenon is discovered, the American psychologist Martin Seligman in 1967 in a series of studies.

Three groups of dogs each of which was placed in different cells involved in the experiment Seligman. Animals of the first and second groups received light current discharge through the floor, and from the third - control group - no. The first group could turn off the current by clicking inside the cell. The second was not possible: electric shocks stopped only when the dogs in the first group pressed the button.

Later, all the subjects put in boxes with partitions which can easily jump. Animals received electric shocks and to avoid unpleasant feelings, they just needed to jump to the other side. Dogs of the first and third groups quickly figured out what to do, and moved to a safe area.

Dogs from the second group remained where they zapped, whined, but did not even try to escape.

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Seligman explained the results of the fact that the animals in the second group learned to be helpless. They could not affect the the situation in the first part of the experiment, so we decided that they are not dependent on anything, and any attempt to cast the struggle. Although jump barrier for them would not be difficult. Seligman concluded, not the unpleasant situations, and alleged lack of control over them develop learned helplessness.

Later, other psychologists have conducted a similar experiment in humans, however, instead of the current stimulus was loud unpleasant sound. The phenomenon of learned helplessness Seligman worked here.

Learned helplessness occurs quite often: children, pupils and students ( "I do not understand the subject, and I can not do anything about it, because I am stupid"), employees of companies ( "I was not promoted to the post because I can not handle tasks"), wives and husbands ( "Partner will continue to change me, but I will not go, because no one else need / do not need, and do not fix ").

The man who had learned helplessness, I am sure that he is not under the power to influence their lives. He will not see opportunities, even if he will bring them on a platter, and poke a finger.

He will always find an excuse:

It is in other work, but I can not.
I can not do it.
Why should I try if nothing happens.
I have always been so, and am not going to change anything.
I do not even want me just fine.

When a person thinks that they are unable to control the situation, he ceases to take active steps to resolve Problems. Obviously, the learned helplessness greatly reduces the quality of life.

In addition to manifestations of apathy and inaction a person can move to another target, the result of which is tangible, instead of finding a solution to this problem. For example, clean the house or cook dinner.

Learned helplessness can be manifested in all spheres and become the credo of life, having made man an eternal victim of the situation.

Having learned helplessness, a person believes that his success - an accident, and failure - it's his fault. Everything good that happens to him, happens not because of his actions, and by a happy coincidence. But setbacks have plagued him just because he is not smart enough, ambitious and persistent.

What are the reasons for this state

Learned helplessness - acquired state. Since it is not born, it is formed during the life under the influence of certain factors.

1. Education, parents 'and teachers'

Learned helplessness often appears in childhood. Unconsciously, parents or teachers instill in the child this state:

There is no apparent connection between actions and consequences (the child does not understand how and what impact his actions).
The consequences of actions are actually not (this applies both to penalties and to rewards).
The consequences of different actions are the same (for conscious False and accidental damage things the same sentence; for a good assessment of a complex subject, and washed dishes at the same promotion).

Sometimes a child simply can not understand the reason: "Why is it so and what can I do something?" For example, a student has received a bad grade and does not understand why. He thinks he's smart enough for a particular subject, or maybe corny do not like the teacher. If a child sees the reason is what can not affect, it stops trying. When the teacher gives him to understand that he is able to learn the subject and get a good grade, it will not feel helpless.

It is important that the child saw a connection between their efforts and results.

These reasons may develop learned helplessness, not only in children but also in adults - in work, personal or everyday life.

2. series of failures

When active measures do not lead to the result of any one, nor two, but a lot more time, a man dropped his hands. He was constantly doing something, but the exhaust from this no.

3. thought patterns

Male - breadwinner and the woman stays at home and raises the children. Imposed by society and often have lost their original meaning stereotypes interfere with a person to reach the goal, after all, "so is not accepted, why should I go against the rules."

4. mentality

In a country where citizens are limited in the actions and can not protect their rights, the phenomenon of learned helplessness - a common occurrence. People think, for example: "I'm not going to apply to court because still lost."

This helplessness state shifts to other areas of life, a person ceases to believe in themselves and live according to the principle of "inaction - is the norm."

How to deal with learned helplessness

1. Establish links between actions and consequences

Always look for the connection between what you did and what you got. This applies to both positive and negative events. We need to understand what contribution you have made to the result became what he became. It is important not to stop act.

2. accept failure

If you have a case of failure, it means that you are acting. Without setbacks can not do, what's more, they teach us not to make mistakes again. Treat them as experience, thanks to which you soon will succeed.

3. become an optimist

Seligman believed that pessimists more chances to learn helplessness than the optimists, because they have different styles of attribution - explanation of certain human actions.

To become an optimist, it is necessary to rethink the style of attribution. In his book "How to learn optimism. Change the view of the world and their lives, "Seligman offers testWhich will help define your style of attribution. Try to get it.

Internal or external attribution

Man assigns responsibility for the situation itself or external factors.

As a pessimist thinks: "I do not cope with the task, because I'm stupid," - an example of an internal attribution.
As an optimist thinks, "I can not cope with the task, because not enough time was given. A little bit more, and all would have happened, "- an example of an external attribution.

Stably or transiently attribution

Failures occur constantly or occasionally happen.

As a pessimist thinks: "I always refuse to help, so it was still at school, because I was nobody cares" - an example of a stable attribution.
As an optimist thinks: "Today, he could not help me, because his wife was giving birth, and it is more important than my problems," - an example of temporal attribution.

Global or specific attribution

Man sees the problem globally, but not in a specific part.

How to think pessimist"I do not know how to communicate with people, I am no one is listening, because I bore" - an example of a global attribution.
As an optimist thinks: "I had an awkward relationship with this person, because he has a very different view of life" - an example of the specific attribution.

The test results will show how you feel about the different situations, what style of attribution and use what you more - optimism or pessimism.

If you have more pessimism, then you need to work on the assessment of the situation. Look for the causes of the problem. If you always blame yourself all over, review it and consider what other factors could influence the outcome of events. We are not talking about their own justification, and the objectivity and relevance of your evaluation.

4. Try the method ABCDE

Martin Seligman and psychologist Albert Ellis developed a method with which you can win pessimism and learn how to react to unpleasant situations adequately.

Situation. Impartially describe it: "I was late for an important meeting."
Your belief. Tell me what you think of this situation: "I went out in advance, but the bus broke down, and then I got stuck in traffic. Public transport works disgusting and plugs - due to inexperienced drivers. "
Effects. Think about the feelings and emotions cause you persuasion: "I was very angry, shouted at a passerby, the whole day went down the drain. I never go on the bus to work. "
Internal discussion. Discuss with your response to the situation: "I got a little excited? The first time I got stuck in traffic on this stretch of road, because the repair was there. Public transport is sufficiently developed to important meetings need to plan multiple routes, so as not to fall into such a situation again. "
Kickback. Describe how you feel when thinking about the reaction: "I was able to cope with anger and I felt better. I am glad that I was able to look at things sensibly. "

If you regularly review each situation on the shelves, you will learn how to soberly assess what is happening and start to think positively. A positive attitude is important to deal with learned helplessness.

5. Refer to a specialist

When the home is impossible to cope with the problem, it is necessary to see a specialist. Learned helplessness - a serious problem that can not be ignored.