4 steps to get rid of the fear and shame

Blogger and author Leo Babauta tells how to get rid of negative emotions that prevent you to be yourself.

We experience these emotions every day, and they hinder us

Fear and shame manifest themselves differently in life, such as:

• We are unhappy with themselves and their body, ashamed of his appearance.
• We prokrastiniruem and distracted, and then ashamed of his carelessness.
• We forget to do sports, read or eat right and are ashamed of it.
• We rarely phoning loved ones again and ashamed.
• We are afraid of the unknown and nervous when things go according to plan.
• We worry, Speaking before an audience. Because of this we stand worse and ashamed of himself.
• We are afraid to tell the truth or to get candid conversations, because they fear the consequences.
• We avoid difficult tasks, because we are afraid of discomfort.
• We are nervous about the upcoming trip, meetings, parties or project, because we are afraid that something goes wrong.

Think about what would be your life without those feelings. Imagine what kind of person you would become. What would you do differently if you did not stop the fear? You may have more risk in the business, tried themselves in something new, do not put off until later the complex, not so much worried about the future.

Not ashamed of yourself, you would be confident you would be easier to talk to strangers. You have lived a life in the present moment, rather than dwell on the past actions. You would be easier to treat their blunders.

Fear prevents us from doing what we want. Shame causes dissatisfaction with himself and his life, prevent us from being happy.

Life without fear and shame will be more relaxed and confident. Learn to let go of them when they appear. Then they will no longer control you.

How to get rid of them

Step 1

Notice the sensations that occur when you are afraid or ashamed. Do not judge them, just watch. Remind yourself that this is not a problem, but only the reaction of the body. Do not dwell on it. You will notice that these emotions are not so terrible, and there is no reason to hate them.

step 2

Treat your senses with curiosity. What they look like? What provoked them? Perhaps you are ashamed of yourself because you something in itself I do not like. Where did this discontent? For example, you feel that you have to be perfect in everything, or that you have complete control over their lives.

step 3

When you have identified the cause, loosen its effect on you. Consider whether there is a benefit from your makeovers? If he brings harm? Why did he come from? Who do you without him, and accompanying him to shame? Introduce themselves free of shame or fear are satisfied and calm. "Try" is a condition like new clothes.

step 4

Now check how to live in this state. Do you feel more confident, happier? Are you satisfied with yourself? See what changed. How will you act when you are not limited to shame and fears?

Naturally, this process takes time. Do not get rid instantly. Repeat these steps when faced with fear or shame. Gradually you release what prevents you from living a full life.

see also

• What if you always feel uncomfortable →
• 9 things for which you should not apologize. Never! →
• Simple trick will save you from the fear of speaking in public →