Why obedient child - it's bad

Obedience traditionally given great importance in the rearing. One of the most common complaints of parents: "The child is not listening to me." And almost never specialists do not address parents obedient children. And yet, and they have a cause for concern. Unquestioning execution of all adult guidance is not a rule (like parents to be desirable). Absolute obedience may be a sign of serious problems in the education and leads to negative consequences in the future.

lack of initiative

Too obedient child gets used, that they lead. With age, this results in a failure to be leader or - even worse - in the total absence of initiative. Model behavior, when a child everything is decided by adults, fixed quickly, and subsequently your daze be difficult to make independent decisions.

What to do

Leave your child the freedom to choose. Let him decide for himself some questions: what he eats, what wants to play, what to watch or read. Keep your baby's proposal, though he feels that the initiative is not punishable.

Exposure to another's influence

Around three years in a child's life begins a period when he is aware of his desire to learn and to defend them. During this period the baby is ready to respond to all the offers of the word "no." And if it's "no" to meet the hard and uncompromising fight back, then in the future to kid it will be difficult to defend its independence not only from parents but also from any environment.

Too obedient children is difficult to say 'no', they can not insist on his.

What to do

Be sensitive to the desires of the little man, encourage their manifestation. With respect to the choice of the child. Allow a bit of disobedience, of course, within the framework of safe behavior. Not every "no" should be met with hostility.

Low self-esteem

Obedience is very often combined with low self-esteem, Lack of self-belief. The child may think that he is "bad", and exemplary behavior to try to earn the love of the parents.

What to do

If parental love depends on the behavior of the child, this is an extremely abnormal situation and the huge mistake of education. Here you will not manage the simple advice, it is best to consult a specialist.

soreness

Too obedient children are exposed to a variety of chronic and infectious diseases. The absence of external manifestations of discontent does not mean that the child does not experience negative emotions. The need to keep everything in itself is harmful even for adults, not to mention the emerging body of the child.

What to do

Allow your child to show discontent: he does not have to be in awe of all your orders (instructions). And further - work out. The benefits of physical activity is obvious, regular exercise and a positive impact on the emotional and volitional children. Naturally, without fanaticism.

overcompensation

Often situation, when deprived of their autonomy and the right to choose the children grow up to try to compensate for the limitation of their freedom. Exemplary boys and girls kicking from hand and turn into troubled teens. The risk is increased due to the inability of these children to resist the bad influence.

What to do

The child must be a "space of freedom" - areas where he makes decisions. And with the age of the space should be gradually expanded.

Total

For the child abnormally meekly submit to the will of an adult against his own wishes. Obedience is not the purpose of education, but only a means. The goal - a a happy and healthy baby (In the future - an adult). Independence, to insist on their faith in their own strength - all this is impossible without a bit of protest, without conflicts, without denial. That is, without disobedience.

see also

• 10 phrases that are in any case we can not speak to your child →
• 8 tips to parents on how to help your child choose a profession →
• How not to spoil the children and raise them rich and successful: 4 Secrets of the Rockefeller family →